Memories That Fade Like Photographs
by LilMsSugarRush
Summary: Bella's best friend, Edward, is getting married to the love of his life, Tayna. When Bella and Edward do something terrible, Bella feels the need to runaway. Will the Cullens let her get away with leaving? Will Edward ever love Bella in that way? OOC. AH.
1. The Best Of Me

I could hear the clock ticking through the moonlit interior of my room. _Another night, another dream wasted on you, Edward._ My eyes were slowly adjusting to the lack of light in my room. It still looked the same it did when I first came in here forty-eight hours ago. I was currently thanking the fact that Alice had given me a room at her house with a private bathroom. I couldn't take it if I had to leave this room and run into Edward. Not after what he said, not after the way he sadistically pulled my heart out of my chest without a sedative. _Fucking bastard._ I had to stretch my back as I rolled out of bed from the lack of movement I had done in the last eighteen hours since I had locked myself in my room. I drowsily walked into the bathroom and flicked on the switch. I blinked a couple of times to adjust my sleepy eyes to the sudden brightness in the room. I marched over to my mirror and saw what I had become.

My hair looked very similar to his at this point. My nightmare-fueled slumber had caused my hair to look extremely messy and the light had made my natural red highlights glimmer a little bit. My eyes seemed dead even to me and the black bruises underneath them made me look even more like a vampire than I already felt like. I could even see the dry tear trails on my face. But my face already had this unusual glow to it. Something I had not previously ever seen on myself. It made my somber face look a little bit happier. My eyes immediately fell the damned stick still laying on the counter. Positive. One night had ruined everything. My friendships were all dead or dying now. My parents surely would not accept the fact that I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, especially with the only man they had ever trusted me to be alone with.

Edward Cullen. My best friend. I was his best friend too and even after the night we had shared, that's all he'd ever think of me. In fact he even said that. I was lying so contentedly in his sweaty arms and I decided now was a good a time as ever to admit how I felt about him. I twisted my body so I could look deep into his piercing green eyes. I had finally gotten the courage to tell him I had loved him since we were sixteen. He used to drive me to school then and I would usually ask him about his date the previous night. He would run his hands through his bronze hair and say, "I'll never fall in love, I swear." I used to pray he was wrong. That maybe he could love me. I had just blurted it out to him and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"Bella, I knew this was a bad idea. I mean I'm marrying Tayna in two months. God, I'm an idiot." He seemed so sad and I just had to comfort him so I wrapped my thin arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry, Edward. Everything will be alright. If this is meant to be, it's meant to be and it's gonna happen, no matter what anyone else says. Just remember I love you until the day I die." He ran his hand through his hair again.

"See that's the thing Bella. I don't love you. You must be thinking of lust. This isn't love Bella. We both had an itch and we scratched it, OK? Not love." I couldn't believe what he had said. He had just led me on and now I was laying naked in his and _Tayna's_ bed while she was out of town. What a whore I had become. I couldn't take the pain anymore of being his best friend and just his best friend. It was so stupid of me to assume that sleeping with him would make him love me. I felt like such an idiot for even letting Edward take my virginity. I had told him before that I was waiting for the love of my life. Well, what a nice life that turned out to be. Now I wished I had just let Jacob Black talk me into the back of his Volkswagen back in senior year. I also felt ashamed of myself because Edward was one of those old-fashioned guys that wanted his first time to be on his wedding night. Oops.

"If that's how you feel then, I think I'll be leaving. Have a nice life, Edward." I rose from his bed and started pulling my clothes back on as quickly as I could. The quicker I got myself out of Edward Cullen's life the better.

"Are you still coming to the wedding?" Edward looked hopeful from his postion on the bed. I managed to bark out a humorless laugh.

"Sure, I'll watch the man I lost my virginity to marry the white trash whore next door who probably has already cheated on you as I stand there and play Maid of Honor because your fiancee is convinced I even like her. Like I said Cullen, have a great life being married to a gold-digging whore!" And with that I walked myself out of Edward Cullen's life and into the bedroom I had spent most of my time in since the incident at _his_ house.

Alice had convinced me to maintain appearances, which I did from time to time. She was baffled as to why I all of a sudden avoided my ex-best friend. She dragged to parties where he was at, arms affectionately curled around his beloved fiancee. I plastered a fake smile on my face and thought of my plan. My plan to leave Forks and never come back. I was going to pretend that I was going to the wedding but really I was going to just get in my car and drive until I couldn't drive anymore. I knew that would be the only opportunity to leave. It would the only day that no one's attention would be on me as it had been the last month or so. Everyone had noticed my sudden change in demeanor and they took shifts babysitting me to ensure I wouldn't do something they deemed stupid. Well lately the whole baby thing kinda put a damper on my little runaway parade. I would need a job and an apartment to help support my baby. I had thought of abortion or adoption but I was too selfish to let go of my last part of Edward even if I were totally unfit to be a mother.

As I looked in the mirror, I thought of how tomorrow would go. Tonight everyone was out on the town, partying before Edward and Tayna officially went off the market permanently. It was easy enough to get out of the bachelorette party as I was already beginning to learn the wonders of motherhood hunched over my loving toilet. I would pack my stuff tonight and hide it under my bed so no one noticed. I would have to leave a lot of my personal items here to avoid suspicion of my plan. I lifted my shirt to see the tiny little bump already forming on my belly. I sighed and touched it softly.

"Listen here, kid, even though your father doesn't want anything to do with you, I kinda am already getting attached to you squirt. You were the last thing I ever wanted in the world I hope you know and I resent you a bit now but I promise someday I'll love you with all my heart and I'll be a decent mom to you." I didn't feel like telling my baby lies even if it couldn't hear me or understand me at this point. I slowly walked out of the bathroom and as I went I swiped the test and put it in my bag. I wanted it around as a reminder of how I singlehandedly ruined everyone's life around me. Packing didn't take me long seeing as I didn't have that many clothes here. I decided that maybe it would bring some closure to Alice and the others if I wrote them a goodbye note. I would be too much of a cynical bitch if I left without saying some sort of farewell. Writing the letter was harder than I thought. It was difficult to articulate how I felt about these people, my friends, the best parts of me and I noticed I couldn't do it without sheding a lot of tears. Stupid hormones.

_To my family,_

_I'm so sorry that I had to leave you all but I willingly break my own heart to save all of you from the pain of the things that I've done. If you only knew what I've done, it would wreck us. Every single one of us and I can't bear that. I want you to all know that I love you with all I have in my heart and even though you'll be away from me physically, a part of each and every one of you will always be in my heart and foremost on my mind. I apologize for all the trouble I've caused our families by doing this but I know this is the only way for me to save you all._

_To Alice, you may not be my sister biologically but to me you'll always be the shopping and fashion obsessed older and wiser sister I always wanted. Your constant beauty makeovers may have aggravated me in the past but I want you to know I appreciate every moment of your time you spent on me. I appreciate every encouraging comment you ever made to me even though I'm still convinced that I'm not beautiful at all. Thank you for your love and your strength when things were so hard for me that I could almost not bear to be alive. You let me cry on your shoulder until I was blue in the face and you never forced me to tell you what really upset me. I still can't tell you what it is but it's always been this one person and he's very close to you. I will miss your energy and your smile and the passion you throw into to everything you do. When I have children of my own someday, you will be the godmother even if I don't have the courage to come back and see you ever again and I will tell them stories about the amazing, incorrigable Alice. I love you so much._

_To Jasper, I know I haven't known you long but thank you so much for helping me with everything. Take good care of my best friend, Alice and yes, I do think she'll love the ring and your proposal. I know you will make her happy until the day you both die. Thanks for being such a good friend to me all these long months. I love you lots too._

_To Emmett, you've always been the protective older brother to me and even though sometimes you got annoying in your methods to protect me, I know it was with my best interests and I love you so much for caring for me when Mom and Dad emotionally couldn't. Rosalie is a very lucky lady to have you as a boyfriend and hopefully as a husband. I know my leaving will probably hurt you the most because you're probably thinking I'm hurt or something or I'll get hurt while I'm gone. Maybe someday I can see you again when this fiasco is over but until then Emmett, you'll be my teddy bear and I love you._

_To Rosalie, if you ever hurt my brother I will hurt you. I know when I first met you I thought you were a stuck-up bitch, but as time goes on, I've learned to love you like a sister. Promise me you'll always take of my big brother while I'm gone and make him happy. I love you, big sis._

_To Edward, this is the hardest goodbye of all. We've been friends since birth it seems and it only seems natural that you'll be wherever I'll be and this will be the first time in my life that you're not involved in it. I know that I will miss you more than all of them combined and you know that as well. For you, I'd tear out my own heart I hope you know. I wish you well in your new life with Tayna and I hope it's what makes you happy. I love your piano compositions and am asking you to please publish them so the world knows how much your soul shines. Oh Edward, I can already imagine that you'll have little Cullens running around the planet soon and I want you to know that no matter how it seems that you may have failed as a man, I want you to know that everyone whose life you touch is blessed to have such a pure soul in their lives. You were the best part of my life, my last regret. I love you, I always have and no matter what happens between you and me, no matter how badly we fight or destroy our relationship, I will always love you. I'm leaving Seattle with a piece of you in my heart and there it will always remain. I will always be your best friend and whenever you're missing me like I selfishly pray you will I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping you're happy. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve, which is the very best of life. I know we didn't end things well here and I'm sorry that I'll miss what should be the happiest day of your life. Don't let my disappearance ruin your happy day. I could be nothing but a memory to you, don't let this memory fade away. I love you forever Edward._

_And last and certainly least, Tayna, I promise you if you hurt my best friend, I will find you and personally ensure that you will never hurt him again. I never have liked you and I know that you've never liked me either. You were just pretending so you could get closer to Edward. And I don't blame you, Edward is the single greatest man on the planet and you're damn lucky he wants you back, trust me. Please keep my best friend happy for the rest of his life, that's all I ever ask of you, Tayna._

_I want you all to know that I'm not going away to hurt myself. I'll be back someday until then, _

_Love,_

_Bella._

I had settled myself down for bed a little over an hour later. I just laid down on top of my covers. I was suprised I was still tired after sleeping for nearly eighteen hours straight. I thought of the substantial amount of cash under my bed currently. My whole life savings, over ten thousand dollars. It wa barely enough to support my new life. I would have to get an apartment and as much furniture as possible plus baby stuff. I definitely would need a good paying job and quick if I were to provide for my baby. I thanked God that I had gotten my master's in Education so I could teach as soon as I relocated. I almost considered telling Edward about the baby. I felt terrible about keeping secrets from him. But he would only try to do the "honorable thing" and live with me and our baby. Even if he wouldn't do that, he would at least visit the baby with Tayna and give me child support. I didn't need Edward's money. Hell, I didn't even need his friendship that much anymore. I needed his love and I would never get it and I refused to settle for his friendship after that night. It would just be best to separate my name from the Cullens.

As I was comtemplating my life, Alice walked in. Even slightly tipsy, the girl had more grace than I ever would. "Hey Bell-Bell, you missed a hell of a night. Tayna fell flat on her face in the middle of the club." She said the last part with a wicked grin in place. If there was one person who hated Tayna nearly as much I did, it was Alice. She was "morally opposed to Tayna" becoming her sister and on many occasions, she had even begged her brother to marry me instead since I would be much more preferable as a sister-in-law. Thanks a lot Alice.

"What's wrong, sis? You've blue for such a long time and I tried to ask Edward what's going on but he says you haven't talked to him in two months. Something has to be seriously wrong if you can't even tell your best friend." She looked at me with a concern in her eyes that I had never seen in her before.

"Ali, I'm just a little sad that Edward is getting married tomorrow to that skank. I'm losing my best friend tomorrow." I hadn't told her the whole truth but it was a relief to at least tell someone how I felt.

"OK, me too. You look tired, Bells, I'll let you sleep. I love you." She reached over and hugged me tightly. She never hugged me this tight. She never let conversations like that go. I knew sometimes she saw pieces of our futures and I prayed she didn't know what I had done to her brother and what I was planning to do tomorrow. She quietly walked out of my room, shut off my lights, and shut the door. I laid in bed spread-eagled for awhile, gently rubbing my little baby bump. I could not wait until tomorrow to leave. I would just see all the happy faces around me and I would chicken out of it. I briefly allowed myself to dream of what would happen if I stayed. My heart would die yet again as I watched Edward declare his life for Tayna. Then I would get bigger and bigger and eventually my friends would learn of my mistake and Edward would wonder if it was his. When I finally had my baby and brought it around my friends everyone would know it was Edward's. Tayna would leave him and he would be heartbroken that his only love abandoned him. He wouldn't want anything to do with the woman and child who fucked up his perfect future. His parents would disown him for adultery and our friends would leave him and me. My baby and I would end up alone anyway.

But I wanted things done on my terms. I got up and got my bag from under the bed. I quietly walked downstairs, praying that Alice and Jasper were asleep by now. I left the letter on the dining room table where they would find it tomorrow morning. I opened the front door and walked out. I, as silently as possible, started my car and left the Hale residence for the very last time. I didn't even look back though my rearview mirror and for that I was proud of myself. It only took me half an hour to leave Seattle and head south. To California. No one would expect me to be there since I had long declared my hate of the ocean. I would have to overcome that fear to protect myself and my child. I couldn't even call it Edward's baby. It was mine, mine alone to care for. Edward hadn't chosen this path, I had.

At 11:34 PM that night, I left that final piece of my severely broken heart at the Hale's and I began a new life. Alone.

**A/N: I bet you hate me for that beginning and for not being able to finish a story. My bad. I'll start work on Secret Valentine again. BTW, don't own Twilight or any of the songs I quote in the story or mention below. In case you weren't already aware of that. :D Hmm...I'm forgetting something....RIGHT!! Songs that inspired this bad boy: Best of Me- The Starting Line for how Bella feels about Edward, Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus for the letter, Bruised- Jack's Mannequin when she's leaving, Official Girl- Cassie and Lil Wayne, 'The Takeover, The Break's Over- Fall Out Boy for how Bella feels after the 'incident', Memories That Fade Like Photographs- All Time Low because she's leaving but she doesn't want to be forgetten, and We've Got A Big Mess on Our Hands- The Academy Is... for when Bella's thinking and when she's leaving. :D Gracias. Love, Amanda.**


	2. She Wouldn't Be Gone

**A/N: Firstly, I don't own. If I did, Edward would never leave my bedroom. :D Secondly, thanks for all the love. WOW! You guys rock. So songs for this are: She wouldn't be gone- Blake Shelton and Shameless-ATL.**

**EPOV: **(Cause we need a lil Sex-Ed, Holli, I loves you for that one :D)

When I woke up, I noticed a few things that seemed unusual. Firstly, my fiancee was not in my bed. Secondly, I realized I was getting married today which explained the missing fiancee and the sudden nerviousness I felt. Let me tell you, the Edward Cullen does not get nervous. It wasn't because I was getting married today. It was because I would see Bella today and honestly, I was a bit frightened of how her mood would be. After I broke my promise of waiting to have sex until I was married, Bella seemed oddly distant with me. Which was bad in my book. Even when I did stupid things, Bella forgave me before anyone else did. She truly did love me and I was stupid enough not to see until I had gotten her naked and in my bed. I also was stupid enough to realize I was in love with her too after I had pissed her off enough for her to leave. Oops.

She looked different now. I had last seen her a couple days ago at a famous Alice Brandon-Hale party. Her eyes had lost its incredible luster that I adored, her hair seemed constantly mussed, like she ran her hands through it all day. She had lost weight too, Alice had even told me that Bella only ate once a day for at least a month but lately, Bella seemed invigorated by something to motivate her appetite again. Despite the weight loss, the strapless little classic black dress she was wearing was weirdly tight in her midriff. Hmm. Something was up with that, I would have to try and get her to go to my office so I could find out what had Bella so blue. She never talked to me anymore and I felt a pain in my heart that was very much related with the fact that I was heels-over-head in love with my best friend, Bella Marie, and not my fiancee. Needless to say I fucked my life up. I did care for Tayna, but not like Bella. Tayna didn't know me like Bells did. Nobody did. Nobody could ever elict the same feelings in me that recklessly sexy woman did.

I sighed, lost in my memories and my misery. I still had not opened my eyes yet to greet the new day, which inevitably seemed like my own personal Doomsday. When I did open my eyes I was surprised to see the people I considered to be my siblings sitting on the edge of my bed. That was the third odd thing about the day and I figured the list was only going to grow from here.

"Hey guys, what's up with the wake-up call?" They all exchanged looks amongst themselves, as if in a private conversation I was not invited to be in, as if they were slilently deciding who was going to be the one to tell me the bad news. Eventually it seemed it would be Alice's job. She moved closer to me on my bed and reached into her pocket to retrieve something. She held out a folded piece of paper that looked like it had been read many times in frustration. She clutched the letter to her heart for a moment before extending her hand to give me the piece of paper.

"What's this?" Alice had tears welling up in her eyes and I knew nothing good was coming from this.

"Edward, please, just read it." I did as Alice commanded me to. I sat there for several minutes, just reading. From the handwriting I knew it was Bella who had written this. As I read I can only imagine my facial expressions grew more and more depressed looking. _Bella left._ I tried to stop my tears, I had to be strong in front of everyone. I had driven her away.

"What do you mean you drove her away Edward?" Emmett inquired, his eyebrows rumpled together, deep in thought, a most unusual look for Emmett. I guess I had spoken my last thought aloud. I knew this story would hurt them so badly so I decided not to hestitate and to just jump in and say it, before my pain rendered me speechless.

"Two months ago, Tayna was out of town on business. I had asked Bella to come over so I wouldn't be alone that weekend. I decided to get us a couple of drinks because Bella looked so uncomfortable in my new house. Next thing I know I'm on top of Bella, kissing her like mad on my living room sofa...." I paused there, unsure of if the next part would be appropriate to tell now.

"Oh please, Edward, continue. I'm dying to know what else you did to my baby sister to make her FUCKING LEAVE US!!! YOU BASTARD!!" Emmett was yelling by then, being restrained by Rose. Everyone had a sick look on their faces.

"Ummm...I didn't want to do anymore on the couch. So I-I-I picked her up and carried her into my room. We both lost our virginity at the grand old age of 25. Afterwards, she told me she loved me and I freaked out. I mean I was supposed to wait until my wedding to have sex. I had just cheated on who I thought was the love of my life, I completely overreacted and I-I-I told her I didn't love her. That sex was a mistake. She stopped talking to me after that." Emmett's face was beyond anger and beyond words as he now being restrained by Jasper and Rose. She whispered something in his ear and he immediately relaxed. I did too. My manhood was safe for at least another day.

"Tell me this, Cullen. Please tell me you were at least smart enough to use something. I think we can save this if you used something." He begged me. I had never seen Emmett so defeated looking in his life. He really did love Bella too.

"Wait I thought she was on the Pill?"

"THE PILL?? CULLEN, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT DEMENTED???" Emmett roared, Rose gently led him out of the room. Alice gasped at my side.

"Oh. I just figured it all out. Edward, she's pregnant. She left because you're getting married and she's having your baby. Oh. OH. OH!" Then Alice fainted. Jasper quickly rushed to his wife's side and got her into my guest room down the hall. I followed after them. A baby. Wow. The woman I love is having my baby. Wow. I couldn't be anymore lucky. Then I thought to myself for a moment. She was gone. I probably would never see her or my baby again. I immediately conjured up wild images in my head. My body curled around Bella's, rubbing gently on her rounded stomach. I told them I loved them both and I kissed her stomach. Another image flew by. A toddler. A little girl with unruly bronze and chocolate brown hair and vivid green eyes eating a blue popsicle with a little blue mouth as her mother and I stared reverently at our little miracle. Our daughter. Wow.

I walked into the room. Emmett was there. Oh shit. Rose looked at me with such scorn in her eyes.

"Oh Edward, get over yourself. Can't you see the damage you've done to this family? No one cares if you're crying right now,OK? I just fucking lost my sister and my little niece or nephew thanks to your sorry ass. Why don't you go ruin someone else's life, huh?" Rose was unusually blunt with me, hell, with everyone, but this time er words struck me to my core. I was worthless. I had riven away my love and my baby. What kind of monster does that to someone he loves? I didn't deserve to live. Suddenly Emmett walked towards me and I'm man enough to admit I was scared shitless of Bella's rather muscled brother more than I had ever been. He led me out to the hallway before he began to speak.

"Sorry for blowing up back there. I don't forgive your sorry ass and I don't feel sorry for you. But if it's the last thing you'll ever do, you're going to fix it. Otherwise, I'd hate to see what Rose could do to your precious Aston Martin Vanquish. Got me?", I nodded numbly. I barely could breathe, let alone speak,"Good. Meet me in the car in half an hour. We're going to go looking for Bella."

He went back into the room where everyone else was and I went downstairs. I knew Tayna would be there, making herself breakfast. I had assumed correctly when I saw my soon-to-be ex-fiancee in the dining room, daintly eating a grapefruit. Bella and I both detested grapefruit, where Tayna practically worshipped it. Maybe that was some sign that I had made the wrong decision all those years ago. I decided to flat-out tell Tayna I was breaking up our engagement.

"Tayna, I'm breaking up with you. Two months ago when you went out of town, I slept with Bella. I'm sorry but I'm in love with her." Tayna had the most amused little smirk on her face. Huh, wait she was supposed to be sad about this!

"Edward, I'm glad you finally came to your senses. You've been heels-over-head with that girl ever since I started dating you. And by the way, I cheated on you from the start. In fact, that weekend you were talking about, I was in Las Vegas with Mike. The things that man can do with his tongue I swear." Then she just slipped off her engagement ring and handed me her keys and like ice on a sunny day, she was gone. Oddly that didn't hurt at all. Nothing even touched me when the ache of Bella touched me so deep down in my soul. But how could I have a soul after doing that to her?

I met Emmett in my Volvo and let him drive. I never let anyone else drive my car but me. But I was too upset to barely notice. We drove for at least three hours at breakneck speed before Emmett grabbed his cell phone and called his parents. We were just outside of Forks when he had placed the call. His parents had about ten minutes to prepare for our arrival and my hands were shaking and sweating. What if Bella were here? What would I do? I honestly couldn't even answer my own questions. I hadn't noticed Emmett was talking to me until he not so gently slapped me. I looked at him.

"Good, you're still here. My parents are at your house. Hopefully Bella's here or you're in big trouble, got me?" I nodded weakly again. We pulled up to my house fiftteen minutes later. I was never so terrified to see my own home. We got out of my car and casually walked into the house, as if this weren't a matter of grave importance, as if my own existence didn't revolve around this one encounter.

"Emmett, Edward, what a suprise! What can we do for you guys? We all know you must need something if everyone else isn't with you." My mother was so wise, she must've known that I needed to see Bella again. So I decided to say the only thing that was on my mind.

"Is Bella here?" Emmett sharply jabbed me in my ribs. OK, so I wasn't immune to physical pain apparently and Emmett wasted no energy making sure I understood that he didn't forgive me for hurting Bella.

"Edward, why would she be here? AND why did you suddenly cancel your wedding today, huh?" Oh shit. I guess Alice called then. Great.

"Because she's pregnant-" I was stopped by a very powerful pain in my foot. Emmett had stomped on it. I think he had actually broken some bones. If I weren't so out of my life right now, I'd probably fight back. At my remark, Bella's parents gasped and looked to Emmett, as if he had all the answers.

"Who's the father?" Of course, Chief Swan would want to know who he had to castrate. I guess like father like son in that case. I could just lie and say we didn't know but today I had grown-up, I had become a dad, I needed to step-up and be honest for once.

"Me." Charlie Swan glared at me. My parents seemed rather unperturbed by this information. I knew that they had wanted me to procreate with their best friend's daughter ever since I met Bella in fourth grade. They seemed glad that I had finally done the deed too. Carlisle had started voicing his opinion that maybe I was gay, to Emmett and Jasper's amusement. Well, ha, I proved everyone wrong, didn't I? Not only had I had mind-blowing sex but I also made a baby. Beat that. OK, that was no way for a father to act, even mentally. I hadn't thought anything that immature in years. Maybe the lack of Bella's presence was making me insane.

Renee spoke her next words in a small voice. "You mean you don't know where she is?" We nodded our heads yes. I sank into the couch and my mother patted my back reassuringly.

"Why are you comforting him? He probably raped poor Bella and now she's pregnant and by herself and you comfort him? You guys make me sick. IF you do find Bella, please inform her that your boy, her, or her freak baby are ever allowed near our family ever again. And Emmett, if you help her, so help me God, you'll be banned from our family too." With that the Swans left my house for the last time. Great, I had wrecked so many relationships in one day. Bella had left to prevent this from happening, but did she think that we would let her leave and just let her go? I couldn't. I was so far gone and this baby of mine just made my need, my desire to find her even greater. I couldn't bear to think of Bella, all alone in a strange town, caring for my baby all by herself. I started crying again. I thought of what could be my happy future. Bella and I would get married on the beach, but I had forgotten momentarily about her odd phobia of the beach. I blame Emmett and Jaws for that one. The beach was the last place she would marry, the last place she would be found. The last place she would be found. That's it! No one would look for her at a beach. I knew there were thousands of beaches in the world, maybe millions, but I would search every single last one of them until I found Bella.

I stormed out of my house and into my car. In my rush, I had forgotten that Emmett was here and would need a ride back to Seattle. Oh well, finding Bella couldn't wait. I sped down the road, every mile closer to Bella.

Every mile closer to where I needed to be. My whole world.


	3. Miserable At Best

**A/N: This is BPOV then it switches to EPOV. I don't know how often I'll keep doing EPOV because honestly I make him really immature. :( The songs for both parts of this chapter are at the bottom. Really I put my iTunes on shuffle and wrote my plot around those songs. Holli, I'm really sad that your dad deleted your fanfic account but I loves you all the same, my British buddy. :D And thanks to Christie, you all will be reading Chapter 3 of Secret Valentine soon. Hope you enjoy the little dedication to you in this chapter. By the way, I don't own Twilight or any of the amazing songs I quote in here. Enjoy.**

**BPOV:**

Hell. That's what I was putting myself through I decided as I lay in my tiny bed, rubbing the now larger bump on my stomach. The rain was softly falling in the southern California sky and the rain only reminded me that I should be home. Home. I could almost imagine what it would be like at home right now. Edward and Tayna would be back home by now, sporting matching tans. Jasper and Emmett had probably proposed by now and everyone would be so happy together. I'd just be the extra, the tag-along in all their cutesy little couple activities. It would be cooling down in Forks by this point in September and I could see Edward wearing one of those sweaters of his that always had looked so good on him. But that was all happening in a place that I could never go back to in my past and it was the only place I truly wanted and needed to be.

So here I lay in California. The last place on Earth I'd be found. It had been a month since I had runaway from my troubles and I couldn't think of anything that could me more miserable and I couldn't think of anything that could make me any happier either. I dreamt every single night of my best friend who for one night became so much more to me, something that he could never be to me again. Part of me wished he was hiding away from the others like I was and he was nearly as sad as me but a greater piece of me prayed he was happy. He was my best friend after all and no one would ever come close to filling the void I felt at the loss of my best friend and one-time lover. I got up from the bed, the floorboards creaking slightly as I walked across the tiny room to where I had my calendar. September 13th. I had spent my birthday alone, laying on a piece of paper in a cold doctor's office. They only confirmed the horrible truth for me that day and prescribed me prenatal pills and told me the dos and don'ts of pregnancy. Great.

I had also found out that day that I was due on March 28th. A little over three months shy of its dad's 26th birthday. I wonder how well it would go over if I suddenly showed up at Edward's place in Seattle on his birthday with a three-month baby in my arms. I now was beginning to accept my baby. I decided I had to love it because it was the last piece of Edward I would ever have. I could envision a tiny little baby boy with shockingly bronze hair with little brown highlights running through it and vibrant little green eyes that saw deep into my soul. My son. I knew already if I were haviing a son, I would name him Edward Charles. I may be estranged from every person I ever loved but I still loved Edward enough to let his son have his name. Maybe that was my idea of a olive branch of peace. The same could be said for my choice of my son's middle name. I knew my father was beyond angry at me.

I figured that everyone had solved the puzzle of why I was gone. I wasn't naive enough to believe that my friends would be stupid enough to not figure it out. Edward had always be so attuned to my every movement that surely he had to have noticed the slight bump I had on my abdomen the last time I saw him and he was a doctor as well. I knew Alice had told him about my sudden bout of 'stomach flu' too. I wondered how Emmett took the news, I hoped he hadn't hurt Edward. This wasn't his fault, it was my own. I was the one who always pushed the boundaries of an engaged man and one night I pushed too far and I didn't like the consequences of that so I ranaway. I was not so blind to my own motives to see that my actions were purely selfish. But one thing I learned about myself over the last three months is that I'm essentially a selfish creature.

I walked out into my tiny and not so welcoming kitchen in search of some food. Apparently this pregnancy thing involves a whole hell lot more food than I thought and I was starving after only eating three hours ago. The rainy day had allowed very little light to aid me in my search for food before work today. Once I found something I thought may stay down, I sat myself at my little table for two and saw the picture I had placed there last night. Edward. It was the both of us about two weeks before he met Tayna and Alice had snapped it when I was at Edward's old apartment. We had gotten into a pillow fight, which he won of course, mainly because I let him. The fight had exhausted me so much that I just collapsed on him. We both fell asleep and Alice's picture was right before I woke up. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and he had planted a kiss on my cheek and whispered in my ear, "I never want to let you go, beautiful."

Unfortunately he did, but for those two weeks he had gotten so close to me, holding my hand more often than usual, sleeping in my bed with me, 'accidently' kissing my lips instead my cheek. Then Tayna came to town and Edward forgot all about plain ol' best friend Bella. After that night they met, I was always put back on the proverbial back burner of Edward Cullen's life. I looked down at that picture, at that happy period of my life that soon would be ruined by Tayna Denali who by now is Tayna Cullen. I shuddered at that thought. I reached out my finger to caress Edward's cheek.

"I was born to tell you I love you." I finished getting ready for work after that. I tried not to think of Edward too much after that, it hurt too much for me still. I got in my crappy newly purchased '53 Chevy, the only thing I could afford with my baby on the way and headed back to school. High schoolers these days were so immature and I relished in the fact that Edward and I weren't like that. We were cultured kids, in love with music and art. I allowed myself to daydream once more about what could have been before Tayna. I could be on an exotic island right now with Edward. Even though I still hate the beach, I would go on Edward's dream honeymoon for him. Hell, I would walk a thousand miles to get to him if he wanted me there. We could be in love for all of time.

"Got money and you know it. Take it out your pocket and show it and throw it..." A student's cellphone went off and he quickly dove into his pocket to shut it off. I walked over to him and took his cellphone from him.

"Mr. Neudel, I do believe cellphones aren't allowed in school. Is that correct?" From both sides of him, his girlfriend, Christie, and his best friend, Eric, erupted into giggles over Kameron getting into trouble.

"Mr. Oefelein, don't think you're off the hook either. I happen to have seen you were texting him. Detention for you both. After-school today." They both looked at me shocked. I was a little shocked as well. Before Edward knocked me up, I was shy and not one for confrontation. I guess pregnancy made even the calmest of women into a complete bitch at times. Rosalie would be proud of me for finally becoming a bit bitchy and defending myself. I had to defend myself, I was having a baby after all.

After that class, I settled down to eat lunch in my room. I didn't eat in the teachers' lounge after the first day I came here. Everyone had noticed my rather obvious pregnancy and the lack of a wedding band on my finger. That had provoked the lounge to become quite similar to the cafeteria, seeing how every teacher was highlyt engrossed in gossip about my life. I was sick of it. I knew no one would accept me in my current condition so I just stayed away from everyone. No one even really tried to talk to me anymore. But this one girl in my AP Lit class refused to let me eat in misery.

Her name was Delilah Masen and I recognized her from somewhere, I just couldn't pinpoint where exactly. Every day we ate lunch together. She never forced any conversation from me, for which I was grateful. Instead of trying to solve the mystery of where I knew this girl from, I focused on my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I would get my first real sonogram tomorrow. My first real glance at my baby. My little baby. I felt terrible for bringing it my world where I would be the only family it ever knew but that was better than killing off or sending away the only piece of Edward I'd ever have.

The rest of the day went by without any major event like every other day. After the detention, I slowly climbed into my truck and puttered on home. Once there at 5 PM, I decided to make some supper. My cupboards were nearly bare already and I knew I couldn't go shopping again until next week when I got my paycheck. At the table, I ran my fingers through my hair and put my head against the table and began to cry. I knew being a single mother would be difficult, I just didn't expect it to be this hard. No one was here to help me with anything. I was already feeling incredibly emotionally and finanicially stretched and my baby wasn't even here yet. I didn't know if I could even manage to support my baby let alone myself. I wished Edward were here.

Edward would know what to do, he would know what to say and everything would be fixed. But Edward wasn't here. He was all that I had hoped I'd find in every single way and everything I would give is everything he couldn't take. I wanted to give him my whole life but that wasn't good enough for Edward was it? I looked around my living room and it didn't seem nearly like home to me. It was just a place to stay and nothing more. It seemed as if my home were a million miles away, wherever he may be. I had found over the last couple of months that the hardest part of living was just taking breaths to stay. I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet and I needed to find it. I thought I was good for Edward, but it turned out that I wasn't. I knew I could live without him, but without him I'd be miserable at best.

I went to my little CD player and put my headphones on. The first song was Homesick At Space Camp by Fall Out Boy. The lyrics really struck something deep within me because that's how I felt about Edward. I knew I had made him a copy of this mix CD as well and I could pray he was listening to it now like I was. I started singing to the part that I connected with the best. "Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say. Tonight I'm writing you from a million miles away. Tonight is all about we miss you, miss you....I can't forget your style or your cynicism. Somehow it's like you were the first to listen to everything we said. My smile's an open wound without you and my hands are tied to pages inked to bring you back."

I shut the CD player off suddenly. The memory of Edward was just eating up at me on the inside and besides, I did need to sleep anyway. So I walked into my lonely bedroom, knowing that my heart beats only for Edward Cullen.

At the end of the long and tiring day, I collapsed right on top of my sheets, holding another picture of Edward. This one was us in my bed. He was in his usual bed attire of just his boxers and I was in a pair of light blue shorts and a tank top. He was nuzzling into my neck and we were both turned on to our sides so I could snap the picture of us. His beautiful green eyes burned a hole through the filmsy paper and into my very heart, making the tiny bit of it that I had learned to fix as I fell all the way down break again.

"I can't deny your eyes. You know I try to read between the lines. I saw a warning sign, then you threw me up against the wall. Who said that it's better to have love and lost? I wish I had never loved at all." With that, I curled my body into a ball. I fell asleep with that picture of Edward and I in my arms for the thirtieth time in the last month.

******************************************************************************************

**EPOV:**

One whole month. That's how my heart had gone missing in action and also how long Bella had been missing. I had decided to concentrate my efforts in finding Bella in California. I had to settle down somewhere so I found that La Jolla would be the ideal place to have headquarters. I had gotten a job at the nearby hospital and that only masked my deep misery. I had been such an ass to Bella. I had loved her possibly since birth and I had never acted on my affections for her until two weeks before I met Tayna. We had just gotten into a pillow fight which she let me win. She always let me win even though she was quite possibly the strongest individual I knew mentally. Her face had a light sheen to it and she looked so cute with the red blush that was threatening to take over her face. She had just collapsed on me, not that I minded much honestly, but I grew increasingly afraid of what would happen if I just blurted out that I had feelings for her. Would she reject me?

Eventually my own personal angel fell asleep in my arms and I couldn't help but imagine a future with her. With marriage and babies and a family who loved and supported us. I was jolted out of my happist fantasties by my loving sister, Alice. She had squealed at the position Bella and I were in and began taking pictures of us like mad. I was brave enough to whisper into Bella's ear that I never wanted to let her go. Maybe soon I would be brave enough to say that I loved her. In those two weeks, I had relished in the little touches and the small, tender moments I allowed myself to have with Bella. On the day I met Tayna, I remember I was going to tell Bella I loved her at our little dinner date that night at her favorite restaurant.

But then came Tayna, the leggy, strawberry blond supermodel and I completely forgot about the girl I truly loved. Lust had overcome me and slowly Tayna had convinced me that my feelings for Bella were just juvenile and that the chemistry between Tayna and I was unmistakable for true love. I had proposed a little over ten months after our intial meeting.

I remember that day too. Tayna had cooed for hours over her sparkling little, OK, not so little, Tiffany ring. She actually spent hours flaunting that ring in Bella's face and asked her to be our maid of honor. When Tayna had asked her that, Bella looked up at me of all people with those big, doe-like brown eyes. Then I thought her expression meant she wondered if it was okay if she was our maid of honor. I nodded yes to her to encourage her to do it. I thought then that it was so nice that the two most important ladies in my life were such good friends. Now I saw it for what it really was: Tayna using Bella to get even closer to me and Bella trying to be friendly for my sake. Now I knew Bella's expression was supposed to be more along the lines of "how can you marry her and expect me to be up there with you two when I'm the one you should be with". I was such an idiot but hindsight, they say, is 20-20.

I hadn't called anyone in Seattle in such a long time and they hadn't bothered calling me either. Well except for my parents who constantly badgered me about finding Bella. I was greatful for their wisdom in my search but not for their urgent words that I should find her soon. No shit Sherlock, I knew I needed to find her soon. But it seemed like she was a million miles away and I could never go fast enough to reach her. I knew my friends hated my guts right now. I was completely aware of how much of a lowlife I was for doing such a terrible thing to Bella. I had singlehandedly destroyed our lives and nothing could ever erase my guilt of doing so.

The only light in the darkness that had become my life was the fact that Bella and I were going to be parents in little under five months. Sure the circumstances the child was being born into weren't exactly glamorous, seeing how its dad was a total dumbass, but I was really excited to be a dad. I know I was one to be extremely immature at times and I felt that a child would make me into a better man. A man that was good enough and worthy of Bella's love. I had already bought books and blankets and stuff like that and had them sent to my house in Seattle. As soon as Bella and I returned, everyone would forgive me and we would decorate my baby's nursery. Everything would be perfect. I hoped so at least.

The best part about hospital work I had decided was that the chances of finding Bella went up astronomically. I mean she needed to have doctor's appointments to check on the baby and hopefully since I worked in that field she would march into my hospital someday soon. The night air strangled me in California and I tried to disconnect my thoughts from Bella but I couldn't. Everything reminded me of her. I walked into my room and grabbed my trusty stress and pain reliever, my Les Paul guitar. I started playing the first couple chords to "A Lonely September" by Plain White T's.

What a lonely September I was having without Bella. It seemed like no one else in the world knew even a fraction of the things that Bella knew about me. I knew that the holidays were coming up soon and I was going to be spending them alone for the first time in my life. I remembered Christmastime at my house with Bella. Her radiant expression had left a dopey smile on my face for days every single Christmas. I would just have to go on without her love with me this Christmas.

I sang out the final part of the song as I reached it. "I didn't mean to meet you then when we were just kids and I didn't mean to give you chills the way that I kissed and I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did and you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did. Don't say you didn't love me back cause you know did. No you didn't mean to love me back but you did." As I finished my song, I brought my hand back to wipe the tears from my eyes. I put my guitar back in my room and reached for the scrapbook Bella had made me for my last birthday. I flipped it open. The front page had a picture of me and Bella and Alice side by side in our little beds at the hospital right after we were born. Even then Bella was the most beautiful thing in the world and the very center of my universe.

After that you could tell that Alice was in less and less of the pictures. Me and Bella grinning with big gaps in our smiles, eating popsicles on the Swan's front porch. Me and Bella sitting with our arms wrapped protectively around each other at twelve. As we went into those awkward teen years, Bella and Alice got closer and I sorta scampered away a bit. Only because then is when I realized I love her. I gently shut the scrapbook and got under the covers of my bed.

When I woke up again I noticed it was still as dark as midnight outside my bedroom window. One glance at my clock told me that it was 3 AM. Things aren't the same anymore I thought to myself. Every single night I wanted to pick up the phone and try calling Bella's old cellphone but I knew she had ditched it already. I traded Tayna's baby blue eyes to look into Bella's wide-eyed brown ones forever and I had fucked up bad enough that I would possibly never see them again. She had left some of her old shirts at Alice's. I had taken them and laid them in my bed so I could at least pretend that Bella was still with me and had taken to walking through my apartment late at night, just so I wouldn't sleep and have nightmares about her being gone. I knew if she knew how I was acting she'd think it was strange. It's a strange way of saying I know I'm supposed to love her.

I'm supposed to love her.

**A/N: So this is the Chapter 3 Playlist:**

**Bella's Songs:**

**Your Call-Secondhand Serenade**

**Thnks fr th mmrs-Fall Out Boy**

**Cold as You-Taylor Swift**

**I'll Run-The Cab**

**Miserable At Best-Mayday Parade**

**Up Against The Wall-Boys Like Girls**

**Learning to Fall-Boys Like Girls**

**Stop This Song (Lovesick Melody)-Paramore**

**Saturday-Fall Out Boy**

**Homesick At Space Camp-Fall Out Boy**

**Hate That I Love You-Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo**

**I'll Be Loving You Long Time-Mariah Carey ft. T.I.**

**Apologize- One Republic ft. Timbaland**

**Got Money-Lil Wayne**

**My Heart-Paramore**

**Coffee Shop Soundtrack-All Time Low**

**Noel-All Time Low**

**Edward's Songs:**

**7 Minutes In Heaven (Ataven Halen)-Fall Out Boy**

**Heels Over Head- Boys Like Girls**

**Poppin Champagne-All Time Low**

**A Lonely September-Plain White Ts**

**Rescue Me-Hawthorne Heights**

**Helter Skelter-The Beatles**

**Dark Blue-Jack's Mannequin**

**Bendita La Luz-Mana**

**Say It Ain't So-Weezer**

**I Hate This Song-Secondhand Serenade**

**Love Lockdown-Kayne West**

**Wouldn't It Be Nice?-The Beach Boys**

**GINASFS-Fall Out Boy**

**Umbrella-All Time Low**

**Thank You For The Venom-My Chemical Romance**

**Northern Downpour-Panic At The Disco**

**A Twist In My Story-Secondhand Serenade**


	4. I Caught Myself

**A/N: For the love of all that is Edward! Wow. I totally appreciate all your love. All your reviews make the little review monster part of me happy. :D This chapter is most definitely without a doubt dedicated to the two people who motivate me to write: Holli and Christie. :D I loves you both. Hope the characters make you proud of your names. Songs: Make Damn Sure-Taking Back Sunday, What a Catch, Donnie- Fall Out Boy, Let It Roll- All Time Low, Golden- Fall Out Boy, I Caught Myself- Paramore, Bang the Doldrums- Fall Out Boy, and Julia- The Beatles. Enjoy. XD! Amanda.**

**BPOV: **

I woke up the same way I spent most of my mornings: sick. I was beginning to thank Edward Cullen more and more for making my life as miserable as possible as I sat on my knees, face in the porcelein bowl. Oh, if they all could see me now, Emmett would be so proud of his little sister and his best friend, wouldn't he? I didn't regret my baby anymore, I loved it. Its father was a different issue. Every time I threw up or felt like shit, I blamed Edward. It made my life a little rosier to do things that way.

I thought a lot these days about just driving up to Forks after my baby was born and just giving it to Edward and Tayna. See I knew something Tayna wished I didn't. She couldn't have kids. I had heard her one day on the phone talking to some guy she was sleeping with about how they never would need protection because she couldn't have kids herself. That's when I knew she never had cared about Edward. She just wanted his money and she would never be able to give Edward one of the things he secretly wanted most in his life.

Edward had never flat out said he wanted kids early in his career but I knew the truth. By the cute little faces he made at little babies, I knew. He always wanted to hold them and we used to come up with baby names all the time when we were kids. I knew Edward wanted five kids, 3 boys and 2 girls. He had only planned out his daughters' names: Jasey Rae, after one of his favorite songs, and Esme Marie, after his mother. I couldn't afford to have my precious little baby and even though I hated Tayna and was completely unsure of my feelings for Edward, I knew no one could take better care of the baby than Edward at least.

I washed myself up and dressed in one the few outifts that still fit me: a V-neck dark blue 3/4 sleeve shirt, jeans, and my beloved and rather battered Chuck Taylors. Alice would be appalled if she saw what I were wearing because it was from the pile of clothes I had that dated back to my chubbier high school days. I wish I could've at least kept talking to my sister. But she would have told Edward where I was and I couldn't have that. I couldn't ever see his face again or all my resolve to stay away would flicker away as I was entranced by those haunting green eyes.

As I entered the hospital where my sonogram would be taking place, I felt a sudden bout of nervousness. I had a reputation for running into Edward in hospitals. Whenever I fell down and hurt myself, which I admit was often, Edward would be the one fixing my wounds. But I had eventually learned to fix my own wounds without his help, after awhile it hurt too much. I walked up to the service desk and said that I was here for my sonogram. The nurse behind the desk, her name was Holli according to the tag, glowered at me for a moment.

"Is your husband coming before you start? Dr. Cullen hates interruptions while he's working." Dr. Cullen? Was _he_ here? No, it had to be a coincidence.

"Actually, I don't have a husband." Holli scoffed at me and whispered under her breath. "Figures." She put on a semi-professional smile and said, "I'll go fetch Dr. Cullen, I'll be back in a moment." With that, she marched off toward the examination rooms. SHIT! What if it was Edward here? I had to know if I would have to run away again today. I saw another nurse and quickly asked her what Dr. Cullen's first name is.

"Oh, it's Edward, just moved here from Seattle actually. He's so dreamy but apparently he's only here looking for this girl he knocked up. So sad." She sighed and walked away. Oh. Oh shit. Oh holy fucking shit! FUCK! What was I going to do? Suddenly the door the first nurse disappeared behind swung open again and out he came. I quickly hid behind the nearest wall.

The nearly four months I had recently spent avoiding him seemed to be as cruel to him as they were to me. I had thought my memories of him fade away like the photographs I had of him, but I was wrong. But this new Edward was not the man who stared in both my best dreams and my worst nightmares. His hair was more rumpled than usual and it lost its pretty bronze hue and was now a dull red-brown. His eyes, once such a beautiful, happy green were now darkened up with sadness. The shadows under his eyes rivaled my own and he looked like he had spent his nights crying himself to sleep like I had. I could feel my slightly repaired fall out of my chest and hit the cold marble floor with a resounding crash. I shuddered a little when that happened.

"Where did this RoseMarie Hale run off to?" His voice sounded so harsh, not like the melodic, bell-like voice I had grown up accustomed to. It was like just randomly strumming a guitar without knowing any chords, it was dischordant and disgusting.

"I dunno Dr. Cullen. She is pregnant, she probably had to use the loo or something?" Holli batted her eyelashes up at Edward. I wanted to die see other women flirt mercilessly with Edward.

"Fine. Tell her I'm waiting in Room 12 when she comes back." He stormed over back to the room, leaving a wake of destruction in his angry path. I decided after five minutes of cowardice I had to go up to Holli and request a doctor change.

"There you are, Miss Hale. Dr. Cullen is in Room 12 waiting for you." She said to me with much disdain.

"About that, I'd like a doctor change actually. I don't trust young doctors." She opened her mouth widely at me and if I could read minds I would say she was thinking that I was crazy to not get myself examined by Dr. Sex-On-Legs.

"Fine. That can be arranged." After filing all the paperwork I needed to switch doctors, she took it back to Edward. My appointment had been rescheduled for next Saturday and I quickly got back to my truck as soon as possible. Only to find the worst possible person already waiting there for me: Edward Masen Cullen. Oh shit. There was no way for me to escape, he already seen me. He had me locked in this sort of deadly little stare as I slowly crept towards him.

My knees were shaking so badly as I reached my car in fear of what Edward would say or do. His face was angrier than I had ever seen anyone's face before. I decided to try to open my door and ignore that he was standing there. He didn't like that idea at all. He grabbed his hang roughly and pushed me against the car with a bang. Tears were forming in my eyes. _Please don't hurt the baby, please don't hurt the baby,_ I silently prayed with my eyes shut.

When I opened my eyes again, his face was only inches away from mine. He had pinned my arms up and pressed his body to mine as tightly as he could with my baby bump being there. In that moment I didn't know what Edward was going to do, I had never been acquainted with this Edward. Thank God. This Edward wasn't a real man, but more of a beast.

"How long did you plan on keeping this all from me, Isabella?" His voice was now sickly sweet and the tears I tried to hold back ran rivers down my face.

"Edward, please, don't hurt me."

"Why? You were planning on keeping away from what's rightfully mine. I can't have that Isabella."

"I-I-I'm sorry, Edward. I'll do whatever you want. I'll do anything to please you just please don't hurt my baby." The look in his eyes when I had said that was sickening. I knew what he wanted from me.

"Well, Isabella, I think you know what I want. You were always such a clever girl. The question is are you going to do it?"

"Whatever you what, Edward."

"Good girl. Now get in your truck and don't dare think of driving off, you hear me?" I nodded through my tears. I climbed in the truck and Edward followed after me. He wasted no time in ripping my shirt off of me. I wanted to cry so badly. I prayed Edward would snap out of it and not hurt me. My Edward, the only I had loved all my life, would never hurt me.

Suddenly he pulled himself off of me and put his head on the steering wheel. He had the bridge of his nose pinched tightly between his fingers. Then he got out of my truck without another word and walked back to the hospital. I thanked God for saving my life but I was puzzled as to why he had stopped. I drove home in shock and just crawled into my bed. He could just look at my records and find me here and hurt me anyway. I knew he wouldn't do that. He was just upset that I hadn't told him the truth. All the same, no matter what Edward I believed in anymore, I couldn't seem to sleep that night.

**A/N: Alright, alright, I know you want to kill me. But I can promise you he won't hurt her. This will eventually lead to BxE, trust me. Might post Chapter 5 tonight if I get enough reviews since tomorrow is my mom's birthday and won't be able to get on. Ciao. Amanda. **


	5. Whoever She Is

**A/N: OK, still sorry for last chapter. I've discovered the problem, it was fueled by ramen (yes, like the recording label :D). This chapter however was fueled by Subway and Slush Puppie. Which means a happier (kinda) chapter. :D All EPOV...so you guys can really see what was going through Cullen's little brain at that moment. Songs (cause apparently I have good taste): Animal I Have Become- Three Days Grace, Whoever She Is- The Maine, Running From Lions- All Time Low, Sorry- Buckcherry, I'll Be Waiting- Lenny Kravitz, One Man Drinking Games- Mayday Parade, Jasey Rae- All Time Low, and Decode- Paramore. Enjoy this one. XD! Amanda.**

**EPOV: (after he leaves the truck)**

I cant believe what I just did. The one person who truly love me with all of their soul. And what did I do. I let my anger consume me and now I probably ruined my last chance to be a good man. I seriously deserved to go to hell for what I did. Storming back into the hospital to get my things and leave for the day, I reflected back on the events that took place in Bella's truck. I had stopped when I heard her crying and whispering, begging me to stop. I couldn't believe it. What kind of person I had become in the last couple of months?

I could count all the wrongs I had committed in the last four months on my hands and feet. Let's see: took advantage of my best friend, impregnated that same best friend, cheated on my fiancee (though to my defense, she cheated first), drove my best friend away from her friends and family, caused her parents to disown her, made each and every person near her sad, left Emmett without a ride at my house, skipped my own wedding, lied to my ex-fiancee for our entire relationship, moved away from my whole family, caused my own sister to faint, was sorry for myself when I caused everyone pain, and then the worst of all, I nearly raped the one girl I truly wanted to marry. Shit. Fucked up yet again.

I barely made it home in one piece. I just fell on my black leather couch and cried for hours. I cried for myself, my family, my baby, and my Bella. _Bella._ Every time I thought about her before the incident, I thought of her in a white strapless satin gown, walking down the aisle toward me with a smile on her face. Now, I only saw her when she was underneath me, begging me to stop. What a monster. I had no right to live. I would have killed myself but I knew Bella and my baby did need me, no matter how fucking out of it I was.

At midnight according to my clock, I got off my couch and walked out my door. I didn't deserve to sit around and mope. Bella was hurting and I felt this odd urge to go help her even though I was the last person she ever wanted to see. I started my car and drove to Bella's apartment. I knew the address because I read her file as I waited for her back at the hospital.

As I approached my destination, I was appalled at the condtions my, for lack of a better term, baby mama lived in. These apartments were dreary and obviously inhabited by those who had almost no money. Could I let my baby be born in this environment? I already knew I couldn't. I reached the one Bella lived in and was surprised that a young, single, and pregnant woman had such little security in her apartment as I picked the flimsy lock with ease. I walked into her kitchen as quietly as I could and noted with extreme disgust that her cupboards were nearly bare.

A box of potatoes, a loaf of bread, some ham, milk, and some apples were all I found in the kitchen. The first door I tried was a small bedroom that was very obviously going to be the baby's room. There was a old crib that probably couldn't pass health standards and a little dresser overfilling with older baby clothes. Some were probably around the same age as the ones I wore as a baby. There were a couple packages of diapers and pictures of Bella and I everywhere.

I was touched that even though I had been absent from the first part of the baby's life that Bella wanted a piece of me to be involved and even though she never had really wanted a baby, she was working her ass off to support and love our child. Our child. I felt another round of tears coming on. I had never expected Bella and I to fit into the mold of parents and she, who had never wanted kids, was doing a much better job than the man who had always wanted a child.

I left that room and entered the last room in the small apartment. I could see Bella, the moonlight casting a beautiful light on her rounded body. I knew she was four months and seventeen days pregnant and she really was showing it. Her goddess-like form was cramped onto a tiny twin-sized bed. Bella had given up so many luxuries in her life to care for our baby. I noticed as I approached her that she only had a suitcase full of clothes that were from Alice's house. There was no way she had more than two outfits that actually fit her growing body.

I sat gingerly on the very corner on the bed. She was beautiful. The way she protectively wrapped her arm around the baby, like she really loved it. In that moment I knew I had made the right decision in looking for her. I was so overcome by my love for the two most important people in the universe. Everything in the world seemed right at that very moment. I knew then how I'd win back the heart of Isabella Marie Swan.

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I rushed around her kitchen at eight in the morning preparing breakfast. I heard her little angel feet get closer and closer to me. When she entered the kitchen I heard a loud gasp. I turned around. Bella had an extremely shocked look on her face and she started backing up slowly back to her room. I inched toward her. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her over and over again how sorry I was, but I knew that wasn't the best method.

"W-w-w-ww-what are you doing here?" She was absolutely terrified and I could hear her heart pounding from where I stood.

"I made you breakfast." I said in a quiet, soft voice. I was trying so damned hard to get her to trust me again but I had to be patient with her. I had to think of how she was feeling, she had to be scared shitless that I would hurt her again. I just had to prove I wouldn't hurt her. I had surprised myself. I had thought about someone before myself for the first time in my life. I guess the whole "finding your true love and having a baby with her" thing had matured me for better.

"What the fuck, Edward? Your mood swings are giving me whiplash! Who even invited you in, huh? I'm tired of you putting me into such a big mess just so you can be happy, Edward. You have always taken adavantage of the fact that I'm in love with you and I'm sick of it! You don't even know me anymore. Hell, I don't even know you at all! What kind of man are you, if you're even a man at all?" She was crying so hard by this point that she collapsed on the floor with a soft whoosh.

"Bella, I do love you. I've always loved you." When I said that, she looked up at me and through her tears, the look in her eyes was unmistakable. Pure anger.

"What? AND YOU JUST LED ME ON??? FUCK YOU EDWARD?" Her tiny fists made contact with my nose and probably broke it. I scooped her up in my arms gently and put her in her room. When I tried to get her to let go, she just clutched at me tighter.

"How did we get here, Edward, when I used to know you so well?" I honestly had no answer to that. I just held her until she got hungry and went into the kitchen to eat her now cold breakfast.

"Edward, the kitchen is fully stocked." She said in utter awe.

"Yes, and the baby's room is furnished and you have new maternity clothes too." She looked up at me puzzled. Then she leapt into my arms and burst into tears. I wasn't accustomed to the ups and downs of women' s emotions so I just held her. I held her until she fell asleep in my arms at two in the afternoon. I carried her out of that apartment and into my car and I drove her to my place. The king-sized bed would be so much better to help her sleep.

Once I got into my bedroom, I put my slumbering princess on the bed and then I curled my body into hers. I spent hours memorizing every feature of her body until sleep finally took me as well.

The last thought I had was that hopefully this meant forgiveness. I sure as hell hoped so.

**A/N: Sorry, I know it's short but I didn't want this to wait. Tomorrow I might have another chappie for y'all. I know I'm updating fast but once school starts for me again, it will slow down a lot. Thanks a bunch. XD! Amanda.**


	6. It's Hard to Say 'I do' When I Don't

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the love I continue to get for this story. These songs may not fit perfectly but this is what was going through my ears as I wrote this: Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone)- Forever the Sickest Kids, Love Will Tear Us Apart Again (Joy Division Cover)- Fall Out Boy, Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)- Cobra Starship, Sweet Talk 101- Cute Is What We Aim For, Circles- All Time Low, You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds- Mayday Parade, The Way We Talk- The Maine, It's Hard To Say 'I Do" When I Don't- Fall Out Boy and Who I Am Hates Who I've Been- Relient K. You just have to imagine Bella thinking these things about Edward. I own nada. OK, enjoy. -Amanda.**

**BPOV:**

I woke up in the morning to notice that the shirt I was wearing was raised up to my braline and Edward's warm, inviting arms were wrapped around my stomach, his fingers tracing little patterns into the skin of my swollen stomach. I sighed in contentment, though he had majorly fucked up my life, he was most definitely the best part of it. I knew this is where I was meant to be. I was born to find home in these arms. I turned my head so I could look him in the eyes.

His eyes were back to that sparkling, gorgeous green I had known all my life and he looked at me with this odd expression: love. Not the platonic sort of love, but the sort of love I had prayed for from him since I realized I was in love with him. True love.

He pressed his forehead into my own and we spent what seemed like hours just staring into each other's eyes. We didn't even say a word, we didn't need to either. The emotions in the room were very palpable, at least to me. I could feel the love in the air.

Then I remembered he was married. To Tayna. They were the soulmates, not us. I sighed again, this time in despair and rolled back over. His arms were still attached to me and I had dragged his body with me. He nuzzled into my neck and whispered against my skin, "Well, good morning, love." His hot breath tickled my skin and raised goosebumps over me. I wished at this moment I could read Edward's mind so I wouldn't have to truly face the heartbreak of his answer to my next question.

"Edward, what are you doing exactly?" He laughed, a magical sound to my ears and pressed his body even closer to my own.

"I think I'm spending some time with the love of my life and my unborn child. What do you think I'm doing?" He said with such a playful tone. Why did he think this was such a joke? I was being completely serious. Why was he toying with my emotions?

"Edward, you can't do this." He turned me over gently so I could see his facial expressions. His eyebrows were knit into a look of complete confusion.

"Why can't I do this exactly? I know I've been more than unworthy of your love and forgiveness all of my life, even more so in the last couple of months, but I swear I want to be here with you forever."

"I know you're trying to fix things, Edward, but a married man can't snuggle with his best friend like he used to when he was single, OK? It's not fair to Tayna and it's certainly not fair to me." His expression lightened up considerably and his next words nearly gave me a heart attack.

"What? No, no. I didn't get married, Bella. Everyone came into my room that morning and told me you were gone and we figured out you were pregnant and I-I-I just realized I couldn't marry her." He ran his fingers gently down the sides of my face. That was the first time he had talked about the baby in any significant way. He took a breath and continued, "So what are you planning on doing with the baby? I can't let you raise my kid in that dump you're living in right now."

"I really don't know anymore, Edward. This all has happened to me way before I was ready to be a mother, you know? This is the first time anyone has even talked to me about it all. I just feel so overwhelmed and lonely. No one has been there for me. No one has tried to help make this any easier on me until you came back into my life. I know you want to help me with this all and you want to be a part of your child's life, which makes me so..relieved I guess is the right word.

I don't want to make it seem like I just want your money, you know me better than that, but I can't deny that I will need your help with money. I know I can't have my baby there but I have nowhere else to go really. I could always go back to Seatlle but then I would have to face everybody's pity and I don't think my pride can handle that.

It just feels so nice to be able to talk to my best friend again after all of these months of ignoring you. I always thought you would abandon me when you found out and I don't know how I could have taken that. All I know is I'm not strong enough to stay away from you anymore." I said that all as quickly as I could while Edward rubbed reassuring circles on my abdomen. It really did feel almost like a dream to be able to let go of some of my burdens and just let him help me.

"Then don't, Bella. Me and you, we're meant to be together and I was stupid enough to run away from that kind of love all my life. But now I'm ready to embrace that." He got up from the bed and fiddled around, looking for something in the bedside table nearest to him. When he came back towards the bed, he gingerly pulled me into a sitting position at the edge of his bed.

He fell to his knees and held out his clenched right fist. I opened his fist up to reveal a ring. Not just any ring, but an engagement ring. A ring I had seen since his mother, Esme showed me her mother's engagement ring when Edward and I were just kids. She had said that she would give this ring to Edward one day when he was ready to marry the girl of his dreams. I had always wondered why Tayna didn't get this ring.

I guess Edward could hear my audible gasp because he chuckled a very nervous little laugh. When he finally raised his eyes back to mine, he had this adoring expression in them. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.

"Isabella Marie, I may have not always shown you how much I love you but I have always loved you. Ever since you fell on the playground in fourth grade and I doctored it up for you and kissed it to make it better. I know we seemed to have reached this point in our friendship that we can't go back from, but I want you to know, I'll always be here for you, even if saving you sends me to heaven because you're my true love, my whole heart. Please don't throw that away. Please, Bella, will you marry me?"

He looked up at me expectantly and I knew I couldn't do this. He didn't really love me, he just felt obligated to because I'm pregnant and that's how his parents raised him. I wanted to marry him desperately, I wanted that more than anything. But doing it like this, not really for love, my heart wouldn't be able to take the pain of it all. I was trying to think of how to word it. It had been too soon to say perfect. I was nearly scared to death. I had no other option than to just say it.

"No." I whispered it softly before the tears that had been threatening to fall broke through all the careful barriers I had put up in my life to block out the emotions I swore I didn't have.

"What?" He looked at me incredulously.

"I said no. You're appealing to emotions I simply do not have. When I said I'd return to you, I meant more like a relapse. Now and again, I think this hurts for better or worse. The only ring I want buried with me, Edward, are the ones around my eyes. You're doing this for all the wrong reasons. God, just why? Why are you always doing this to me? Always giving me false hope when you and I both are very aware of the fact that Edward Cullen would never want Bella Swan." I rushed off the bed and out of the house. He ran after me, begging to just listen to him. But I was tired of listening to his false words. I simply told him that the Volvo would be at my house and I drove away.

Once home, I packed up the few things I had with me and even the stuff Edward bought me. I just needed time away from him. This wasn't running away, what I did before, that was running scared. But now, I was going back home. Back to Seattle, where I belonged. I just prayed my friends could accept what I had done and help me. I just needed a breather away from him so I could figure out what I really wanted. Before I had run into him, I was dead-set in my decisions concerning my baby and my life but he showed up again and sent a blinding flash of light through my mind and I got lost and confused and now I honestly could say I didn't know what the hell I wanted.

I packed up all my things into three bags and sat out at my table for the last time. I dug my cellphone out of my purse and called the school and resigned. Then I called the airport and booked myself for the next flight to Seattle which was in half an hour. I paid for the ticket with the little cash I had managed to put into my "baby fund". Then I called Alice. She sounded really worried when she answered the phone, knowing who was on the other line.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, WHERE ARE YOU??? YOU HAVE EVERYONE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!" I almost laughed, this is exactly what I had expected from my dearest friend.

"Alice, I'm fine. I need you to do me a favor. Pick me at the airport in six hours. I'm coming home." I didn't even wait for her response. I knew she'd be there. I was overjoyed, I was going home.

**A/N: OK, I lied a little bit. It didn't get happier. But at least she didn't run away because she was mad at him. She loves him, she just doesn't realize he loves her too. That will come next chapter, my dears, when it's split EPOV and BPOV one week after she gets back to Seattle. You like my story, then leave me lots of love. I may update later today if I can. Only Alice would know if I will. LOL. Love always, Amanda.**


	7. If I Woke Up Next To You

**A/N: This may be the last chapter until next weekend, I can't be too sure. I need to actually get my schoolwork done unfortunately :( but be reassured that I would rather write all the day long. OK, EPOV coming up.....Songs for this chapter: I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me and You)- Fall Out Boy, Can't Believe It- T-Pain ft. Lil Wayne, All Again For You- We The Kings, Everything I Ask For- The Maine, Hero Heroine- Boys Like Girls, and Fall For You- Secondhand Serenade. I don't own this stuff. Thanks and enjoy. -Amanda**

**EPOV:**

Three days. She had stormed out of my apartment three days ago and I don't think I had gotten an ounce of genuine sleep since then. I had gotten my car back from Bella's but honestly, I barely remember the drive back home. I was miserable but I knew she just needed a break from me. I had put too much pressure on her and she needed time to figure out her rapidly changing life.

The new Edward respected that. The old Edward however would have thrown a hissy fit and demanded that Bella talk to him and marry him. It was miraculous the kinds of changes Bella and my baby had caused in my character. I could no longer deny that Bella was the very essence of my being. She was my everything and when she was ready to talk to me, she would talk to me. Until then I had to be patient enough to respect her wishes no matter how much pain that may cause me.

"Ooh ooh I can't believe it. Ooh ooh she all on me. I-I-I think she want me..." My cellphone went off to the tone that Alice had set it too. Subtly trying to show me how I should treat Bella, no doubt. But I already knew that Bella deserved to have the best in life, which I fully planned on giving her. I picked up my cellphone and answered it.

"Ello. Edward here."

"Hello cousin." I recognized that voice. It was my cousin on my mother's side of the family, Delilah Masen. She lived somewhere near here. She continued onward with the reason as to why she called me. "When I arrived at school today I was shocked to see that my favorite new English teacher, Bella Swan, had resigned from her post and I happen to have noticed that she's pregnant. Anything you care to explain to me before I call Auntie Esme and tell her what you've done to make her miserable?"

My cousin was extremely observant and for once, I had nothing to say about the information she knew about my private life. "Got nothing to say cousin? I know it's yours because at the family reunion two years ago, you brought her as your date and though you claimed you were friends, I could tell that you were something more than just friends, Edward. Plus she had a picture of you on her desk that she just stared at during lunch time. Can you tell me why she's gone?"

"She's not gone. She should be at her apartment." My cousin definitely took after Alice in the whole department of freak-outs.

"No, that's the thing. After school, I went to where Ms. Weber said she lived and she wasn't there. The neighbor said she left three days ago in a rush." What? Why would Bella live La Jolla and where did she go?

"I don't know what's up cousin but I want to tell you something straight-up. She's the one for one. Alice even agrees with me. Why you wanted to marry that Tayna is beyond me but Bella, she's a keeper. Don't fuck it up anymore than you already have, cousin, OK? I love you and I'll call you soon but my boyfriend, Corey is waiting for me in his car. See ya, bye."

I stood there shocked. I already knew Delilah was right and I was about to call Alice to see if she knew where Bella was when my cellphone went off again. I checked the caller ID. Alice. How convenient.

"Hey, Ali, is Bella there?" She laughed a little bit.

"Wow, nice way to say hello to your baby sister, Edward." She was always so over-dramatic. I honestly didn't know how Alice and Bella became best friends with their polar personalities.

"Sorry, Alice. So what's up with you?"

"Edward, I called to talk to you about Bella. I know you've done a lot of fucked up things in your life, especially recently and if you want Bella back you'll do exactly as I say, OK?" She didn't wait for my response before she continued again. "She's going to text you shortly and ask you to come to Seattle. You'll say yes of course. I have your flight already booked and you'll be in Seattle by 10 o'clock tonight. I'll be waiting for you at the airport and I'll take you to your house because I gave Bella the keys to stay there. I think she's staying permanently. As far as I can tell, she will. I'll see you soon, big brother."

The line went dead then. What was it with females in my family hanging up on me? By the information Alice had given me, my plane would be leaving in an hour and a half. I could only assume that my ticket and such would be waiting for me at the desk at the airport. I immediately started packing and halfway through packing my things, my cellphone went off again. But this time, it was to a much better ringtone.

"I feel like a hero and you are my heroine. Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?" That only meant one person: _Bella._ I opened my cellphone to read her text.

_E, I'm ready to talk. I'm at your place in Seattle. If you don't want to see me, I understand. But we do have to talk. About everything. Love, B. xx._

Wow, Alice was right. This was my now or never, sink or swim moment and I decided to go as soon as possible to Bella's side. I texted her back quickly and finished my packing in under five minutes.

_B, I'll be there as soon as possible. Sending you all my love, E. xx._

I drove at breakneck speed to the airport and got on my flight with minutes to spare. The flight itself was boring and I actually slept for awhile before I was awoken by a jolt in the plane. We had landed. My nerves had kicked up another gear, to a level the Edward Cullen had never known before. But at the same time, I felt a welcoming calm over me. Tonight everything would be talked out.

I spotted Alice easily even though she was easily the shortest person in the entire airport. She ran up to me, gave a monster hug for such a little person and walked me silently to her Porsche. We didn't talk the whole ride to my house until we reached my house and my emotions were running wildly within me. She grabbed onto my shaking hands and simply said the one thing she knew I needed to hear.

"Edward, she's gonna forgive you. Just let it be."

I walked silently up to my front porch and unlocked the door as the headlights of Alice's car quickly flashed away. I flipped on lights as I went through the house and noticed that the only sounds were the soft footfalls I was making and the erratic beating of my heart. I knew by the state of peaceful darkness through the house that my angel was sleeping so I walked over to my piano. Not because playing at this hour was wise with a sleep-deprived, pregnant woman in the house but because I felt drawn to it as if by a magnet, just like I felt so very drawn to my Bella.

The slightly dusty keys taunted and teased me for being away for so long and I began to play a melody I had gotten quite familar with over the last couple of months. I had heard a creaking from the staircase so I looked up towards it and saw the most breathtaking sight.

Bella was wearing a knee-length midnight blue spaghetti strap nightgown. Her eyes opened wide at the sight of me at my piano and she slowly and deliberately walked down the stairs like a bride would walk down the aisle towards her groom. She continued that same manner of walking as she approached me and sat next to me on the piano bench. I could feel the electricity between our bodies buzzing and I sighed contentedly. I was finally home.

I had to concentrate on the words as I began to sing the song to my Bella. "The best thing about tonight is we're not fighting. Could it be that we had been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying, I know you're wearing thin down to the core. So hold your breath because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true. Because a girl like you is impossible to find. You're impossible to find.

This is not what I intended. I always swore to you I'd never fall apart. You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed but I have loved you from the start. " I kept singing until the song was over. Bella's head was on my shoulder and silent little tears were coming down her face. As I gently wiped away her tears, she said one word. The best word I had ever heard from such angelic lips.

"Yes."

"Yes to what exactly?"

"Yes, I'll marry you." Her face at this made me lose my breath. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my grandmother's ring. I slipped it on her finger and kissed my soon-to-be bride. This kiss was unlike any other I had ever had, so full of love and hope and promise. She spoke again due to my utter inability to verbalize at this beautiful moment in my life. "If you don't mind, Edward, I'd like to get married before I get too much fatter. Ideally I'd like to be married before it snows. I hope Alice can plan a wedding that quickly."

I chuckled at that and pressed her knuckles to my lips. "I think Alice can manage."

She yawned slightly. "Ah, my bride, let me get you to bed." She giggled and let me carry her up the stairs to our bedroom. What happened after that, behind those closed doors, just made the best day of my life even better.

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I woke up the next morning to find myself entangled in the sheets with Bella. Her big brown eyes were already open and staring at me reverently. The only thing I could think of the moment was the lyrics to a song Bella loved that fit this moment perfectly.

"Me and you. Setting in a honeymoon." I brought my hands to her warm stomach and rubbed gently where my child lay growing. Bella smiled at me and finished the lyrics for me.

"If I woke up next to you, If I woke up next to you." I leaned in to give my beautiful fiancee a kiss and at that moment, something nudged where my hands were placed. Bella gasped. We looked at each other incredulously and then at her belly in awe.

"I think our son kicked me." Bella's expression was absolutely radiant and completely unable to be done again. I laughed and said, "Oh, you mean our daughter, right?"

She smiled and laughed with me. "I honestly don't care what it is as long as it's healthy and happy and knows both of its parents love it fiercely." I thought of something in that moment. When I first proposed, she had thought I didn't truly love her but now she was suddenly convinced of my undying devotion. I had to ask her what changed it.

"Well", she started, "I missed you so much and just wanted to talk to you and to my suprise, there you were at 10 at night, playing a song for me. There couldn't be any way that you didn't really love me."

"Damn straight." At that, Emmett and Alice barged in. We both gasped and I instinctively made sure Bella was covered up.

"Jeez, Cullen, my sister is already preggo. You can stop banging her now." Emmett was never one for sublety, even with his own sister. They both came and plopped down on our bed. Emmett spoke again. "So, let's see that ring Bella, Alice says it's quite something."

We sat there for hours, just talking about the future. I finally felt content with my life. I had finally grown up and now I had a beautifully perfect family to take care of. Nothing could be better.

**A/N: I think y'all love me now. :) Leave me some love in the form of reviews. Ciao, Amanda.**


	8. Better Together

_**A/N: I know a lot of you probably hate me right now for not updating. I'll try to make up for that. Maybe I'll succeed. I love meeting new people so if you wanna talk to me, don't be shy. Just ask Holli, I love to PM people and I'm gonna reply back to every review. **_

_**Random Songs I'm Listening To: With You- Chris Brown, Live Your Life- T.I ft. Rihanna, Wish We Were Older- Metro Station, Don't Trust Me- 3Oh!3, I Wanna Love You-The Maine, Barbie Girl-Aqua (that one is for you Christie), Shorty Like Mine- Bow Wow, and Better Together- Jack Johnson. That was mainly off of my [dance dance] play list too. Love, Amanda.**_

_**BPOV:**_

_One week later, I was waking up snuggled into the most perfect specimen of a man. I sighed in contentment as my fiancée rubbed my baby bump weakly in his sleep. I looked at his face and broke out into a grin. He was smiling too, sex hair all in his pale face. I swept his hair out of his face and he leaned into my touch slightly. He was perfect._

_I remembered just yesterday he took me out shopping. Without Alice. I expected her to have a hissy fit and demand to go with me. But instead she just gave us both hugs when he announced we were going shopping and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Then she winked and he grabbed my hand tightly and walked me out to the Volvo._

_As we rode to the mall, he put his hand on top of mine and kissed my hand and then the ring he had recently put there. He looked up at me with complete love in his eyes._

"_Two more weeks, Mrs. Cullen-to-be." The grin that accompanied that simple sentence nearly broke my heart. After twenty-five years of trying to get his attention, he was finally going to mine. All of my dreams were coming true. His smile had rendered me speechless so I simply settled for smiling like a dope back at him. _

_Apparently that was enough for him and he turned the radio on. Official Girl by Cassie was on and as he tried to change the station quickly, I stopped his hand with my own. He looked up at me and I started singing._

"_And I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired of being your, your unofficial girl. And I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired of trying but I'm still your unofficial girl." Tears started in my eyes. This used to be my life before Edward grew up and realized he wanted me to be his "official girl". Suddenly I felt a warm, strong hand wiping away my hand and when I looked up at him, he was crying too._

"_I'm so sorry. I should have never put you through this kind of hell. I don't even know why you want me." There he went with his usual "I'm not worthy" spiel. I quickly changed the station to classical. Luckily Debussy was on. I noticed after that his mood improved drastically. I could even see his fingers moving along the music. He was adorable._

_The rest of the day went smoothly as Edward rushed me from baby store to baby store. His enthusiasm couldn't even be rivaled by Alice. He was really looking forward to being a dad. I don't think my grin moved an inch all day. We had already made two trips back to the Volvo with our shopping conquests and he noticed I was getting tired and he took me to a little restaurant there. _

_That was the best thing about being engaged to Edward Cullen it seemed. He knew everything about me already and he could read my every expression. The man knew me better than I knew myself. Which came in handy in the bedroom. OK, that was the best part about being engaged to Edward Cullen._

_He, ever the gentleman, pulled out my chair for me and took my coat for me, exposing my baby bump for all in the restaurant to see. An elderly couple sitting next to us smiled. Edward pushed my chair in and took his place across from me, holding my hand the entire time and never moving his eyes away from mine. I could feel the stares from people all around me but for the first time in my whole self-conscious life, I didn't care. There was only one stare I cared about and he was sitting there like a god across from me. After we had finished our meals, the elderly woman made small talk with me as our men paid the checks at the desk._

"_Hello, sorry for interrupting your meal, but I couldn't help but noticed you're engaged?" That made my smile grow even more. People actually saw the ring and the love and not just the bump._

"_Yeah, I am. Just recently too. I'm Bella." I shook her hand and she grinned back at me._

"_I'm Sue. So when's the big date?" This part made me nervous. Any stranger who had found out that not only was I pregnant but proposed to a week ago and getting married in two weeks had looked at me like I was a dirty gold-digging whore. But when I told her she just smiled. __**(OK, I'll Be Loving You Long Time- Mariah Carey inspired the next few paragraphs.)**_

"_I had a wedding just like that. Harry and I had Leah four months after that. You're Chief Swan's daughter, right?" I nodded numbly. I hated any reminder of the parents that suddenly hated me. She seemed to notice my discomfort and quickly added, "Don't worry, Bella. You have that great boy over there, you'll be fine. Nobody matters in the world except for you two, OK?" I nodded again as her husband, Harry, and my Edward returned to us. _

_Edward said we had one more stop to make before he would take me home. He drove us to a jewelry store not just any jewelry store. Tiffany's. None of my friend's engagement or wedding bands came from Tiffany's. Edward practically had to drag me into the store._

"_It's just our wedding rings, Bella. It's not going to kill you to walk into Tiffany. In fact as my wife, you better expect lots of make-up, anniversary, and birthday presents to come from here." I paled and in order to lighten my own mood a little I spoke._

"_So you expect to mess up a lot, Mr. Cullen?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and he broke into peals of laughter. _

"_No, I just like to spoil my sexy little wife." With that he guided us into the store. The man behind the case looked up at us happily._

"_Ah, Mr. Cullen. So this is the wifey -to-be? She's prettier than you said. But you aren't here for me to dote on your fiancee so I'll go get your rings." The man was flattering. I certainly did not see myself as pretty but apparently lots of others did. I flushed and Edward tighten his grip on my hand reassuringly._

_He returned with the rings and he asked if he could put it on to see if it needed to be resized. Edward shook his head and said, "Allow me". He took the ring and lifted my chin so I could look him in the eye as he slipped on the ring. I got a chill down my spine knowing that in two weeks that ring would be on my hand permanently. He leaned in toward my face and whispered, "A perfect fit". _

"_Will you be taking anything else, Mr. Cullen?" Edward then grinned a devilish grin and I was honestly what he was up to now. He grabbed a diamond pendant and held it up to my neck. He whispered again gently, "Do you like Bella?" My heart began to race. How much could a diamond pendant cost? Shouldn't we be saving this money for the baby?_

_By this point, my head was gazing at the floor and Edward gently tilted my chin upward and he leaned into my ear once more. "Bella, we more than enough money to pay for all of this. Don't worry. I want to dress you up in Chanel, Tiffany, Versace, and Gucci."_

"_But Edward, I only need you. I don't need all of this," I gestured to the jewels surrounding me, "As long as I know you've got me, I'll be fine."_

_I couldn't persuade the man to not buy the damned necklace and after that he finally drove me home. After a nice foot massage I slowly drifted off into sleep with the man of my dreams at my side. I smiled again, remembering the events of yesterday. I checked the clock. 8:54. We had our first sonogram appointment today at 11 and I recalled how the doctor side of Edward was a little cross with me for not getting an appointment earlier. But he also understood that my recent moving around the country had contributed to my lack of doctor's appointment._

_I looked down at my uncovered stomach being protected by Edward's right arm as he was draped across my body. I was nearly four months and I was getting bigger and bigger everyday. I turned to face my Sleeping Beauty and decided to wake him up. I took my fingers and made a soft little trail from the hand he had on my stomach to his perfectly sculpted chest to his angelic face and then I started kissing him softly. He let loose a small moan and tried to open his eyes._

_Once his eyes were opened, he showed me his beautiful crooked smile that I prayed our son had. He raised his eyebrows suggestively and quickly, yet gingerly tipped me onto my back and he began placing kisses all over me. I laughed like crazy and playfully slapped his cheek away._

"_Now after that little wake-up call, did you not expect me to reciprocate?" I chuckled slightly and replied, "Well, Edward, as much as I would love to stay in bed in 'reciprocate' all day, we do have an appointment to see our little baby at 11 and I don't want to be late."_

_Edward bounded out of bed immediately, forgetting he wasn't wearing clothes and into the shower. I laughed again. He really was looking forward to being a dad. I rubbed my baby who decided Daddy's little act deserved a good kick to me._

_Edward and I got ready in record time and strolled hand-in-hand into the hospital where he worked. At least we didn't have to wait in the waiting room since we decided Edward would be taking care of our child's care and delivery. I thought at first it would be awkward to not have my husband at my side during the delivery but he quickly reassured me that he would be taking more care of me and letting another doctor handle that part of delivery._

_He quickly took my measurements and was pleased to see that I was gaining weight nicely. He helped change me into the stupid hospital gown and kissed my cheek as he went to go get the ultrasound machine._

"_I'll be back as soon as I can, love." The man was true to his word and returned in under three minutes with the machine. __**(BTW, seeing as I am seventeen and have never been pregnant nor have I seen an ultrasound, I am not familiar with the exact procedure, please deal with me on that one. (: )**_

"_OK, love, I need you to lean back onto the bed and lift the gown over your stomach. I warmed up the gel for you so it won't be so cold. God knows I don't want to make my fiancee regret having my baby." He kissed my stomach and started to apply the gel._

"_Love, can you hear the heartbeat?", he moved the wand all over until he focused on something in particular. He grew rather quiet and tears welled up in his eyes. I knew that he was very familiar to doing this in his line of work but I realized it really meant something to him to be doing this for his fiancee, for his baby. _

"_There's the baby." He finally whispered in my ear after about five minutes. I tightened my clutch on his hand and noticed tears were coming to my own eyes. After so many months of pain and suffering and sometimes, happiness, I was finally seeing our child. The little piece of him and me that was inside of me._

_This moment was absolutely magical. I never had truly imagined in all of my life that my life could be as perfect as it was at this place in time. He printed out copies of the picture of our baby and wiped the gel off of me without speaking. In this moment, like many I had shared with Edward, we didn't need to speak at all because our feelings were one and the same, forever him and I._

_We drove over to Emmett's in a happy daze and were immediately ambushed by our entire family, including everyone's parents minus my own._

"_OH MY GOD!! LET ME SEE THAT BABY!!" Alice, of course, was as enthusiastic as usual. Everyone gathered around Edward and I and collectively went "Ah" at the sight of the little baby in the picture. Edward's arms were wrapped lovingly and protectively around my shoulders._

"_Congratulations son." Carlisle and Esme walked over to us with huge grins in place._

"_Thanks Mom." Edward's smile matched his parents and I'm pretty sure mine looked the same. Emmett walked over to the TV and hit play on the DVD player. Suddenly one of our infamous home videos came on. It was from a karaoke night we had here three years ago. We all laughed and I settled onto the couch in Edward's lap, squished between Emmett and Rose on one side and Jasper and Alice on the other. This particular night Edward and I were the selected victims for solo and duet singing. I went first singing Live Your Life to Edward with him doing the guy parts of the song. By the time we were finished on screen, I had my head tucked into Edward's shoulder as I blushed a fierce red color._

"_I think you sound amazing." Edward purred into my ear. I brought my head back to look at the screen as the boys went on to sing Barbie Girl. All of the parents and the girls laughed. Rose, Alice, and I had too much fun with that one. We each took our own guy, well they took their boyfriends and I took Edward and we dressed them up as girls._

_Emmett was in one of Alice's tutus from her ballet days with black pumps, a tight pink tank top, and horrendous make-up. Jasper was dressed like a prom queen by Alice in a puffy purple dress with matching heels. Edward looked worst of all, mainly due to my lack of fashion sense as Alice pointed out to me. He was wearing one of my Alice-approved mini skirts with a pink Hollister logo tee and my favorite beat-up Chucks on his feet. They all sang in an annoying little falsetto and we all roared with laughter until the doorbell rang._

_I excused myself to answer it. When I opened the door, the last thing I remembered was saying, "Mom?" before fainting._

_**So what does Renee want? Leave me reviews and I'll give y'all the answer next chapter shortly. Remember what I said about talking to me. Love y'all lots, Amanda.**_


	9. Angel

The next thing I remembered was that I was laying on the couch and Renee was still standing in the doorway, a smug smile on her face. Edward was sitting next to me and slowly helped me into a sitting position. He and Emmett both gave me looks that were clearly asking me if it were alright if Renee came in. I knew I had no option. She would get what she wanted regardless to anyone else's wishes. With my nod, Emmett and Jasper removed themselves from the doorway and allowed Renee entrance.

Renee walked into the apartment like she owned and immediately perched herself on the loveseat. She crossed her legs arrogantly as she lit up a cigarette and placed it in her shell pink cigarette holder. Emmett cleared his throat.

"Uh Mom, do you mind not doing that in here? We're kinda sensitive with cigarette smoke here." With my brother's words, Edward smiled in earnest once again and started rubbing my belly gently. Renee huffed and stormed off into Emmett and Rosalie's kitchen where we heard a series of loud bangs and crashes before she stomped back in the room.

"I don't even see the big deal. Who cares if she's pregnant? I smoked with her and you as well, Emmett and at least you turned out well." She took that opportunity to glare at me and in that glare, I could see and feel every ounce of hatred she had for her only daughter. I knew that her visit would not be pleasant. She was undoubtedly here to either spew some more vicious words upon me about the pregnancy and the fact that I was not yet married to my child's father or she was here to be the bearer of bad news.

Renee continued with her barrage upon me like clockwork except she addressed Edward next to me. "Now, Edward, I really have no clue why you're even with that plain little girl honestly. That Tayna girl was so much more attractive and wealthy. So much better for you, Edward dear. I haven't the foggiest as to why you would even want to be friends with homely Bella. Unless of course, it was to make yourself look better. If it was, it certainly worked.

I understand you got Bella pregnant and for reasons unbeknownst to me, you want to stay with her. I get the fact that you're all into owning up to your mistakes and all that jazz, but c'mon Edward, I've been talking to Tayna and she misses you terribly." She paused and got up to sit next to Edward, ignoring the presence of her daughter cowering into her fiancé's side.

Renee had said many a nasty thing to me in the years that I had lived with her and Edward was well aware of it. She frequently told me in high school that I was a mistake and she wanted to abort me but my dad, my dear dad, refused to allow her to do it. He had said that they were married and already had Emmett, certainly another child couldn't hurt and could only add to the house's happiness.

I believe that's why I grew up closer to my father but I knew neither one of my parents loved me like they loved Emmett or how Edward's parents loved him. Carlisle and Esme had been my real parents, regardless as to what the birth certificate said. They provided a loving environment for me and didn't ever let me give up.

Renee put her hand on Edward's knee and he immediately jerked away from her touch. She frowned but continued onward. "I see what path you've chosen, Edward, and let me tell you, it's the wrong one. Five years from now, you'll regret this and I'll be the one telling you I told you so. Bella is going to make your life miserable I can tell. Well, I guess that's all the business I had here."

She stood up and brushed off imaginary dirt on her pants and looked around the room at all the angry faces of my family. She sighed. "Well, Emmett and Rosalie, you certainly have a beautiful place here. You two simply have to come over soon and talk some more. You two better start working on giving me my first grandchild." She broke out into an evil yet twinkling laugh.

She turned her attention now to Carlisle and Esme. "I hope Charlie and myself are still invited to the infamous Cullen Christmas party even after all of this ruckus with my ex-daughter." Carlisle and Edward both clenched their fists and I put my hand on top of Edward and he relaxed his fist and enclosed my hand in a loving embrace as he gave me an apologetic glance. I shrugged my shoulders. Renee's words couldn't really hurt me anymore.

With that she left the house and everyone's eyes immediately turned to me. Maybe it was the fact that I refused to look weak in front of her or the damned hormones finally taking control, I just collapsed into tears in my Edward's strong arms. He leaned his head down to whisper encouraging words in my ear that no one else could hear.

"Love, remember the only people that matter to me are in my arms right now. Nothing else matters, nobody else's words could affect me, OK? I love you." He placed a warm and chaste kiss to my cheek. I remained buried in his arms and gentle manly scent for what seemed like hours as the family finally continued their business about the apartment.

Edward eventually pried my head from his chest and cradled my tear stricken face in his hands. As his green eyes searched my brown ones for some answers, I realized we were having this conversation with our eyes. He was telling me it would be okay and I was letting him know we were fine and that I loved him. My hand instinctively went to my bulging stomach and my gaze never left his the entire time. He silently repositioned me on his lap and he placed his hand over mine, smiling his radiant crooked smile.

As we sat there, sending love back and forth through our eyes, I saw flashes of light go off in the room and a collective "aw" from the ladies in the room. But oddly enough it was like they weren't even there at all, it was only Edward and I. A kick from my little baby inside me reminded me it wasn't just Edward and I anymore. More flashes fluttered across the room.

Looking into my fiancé's eyes, I recounted all the times we had had from being babies together to, now, having a baby of our own. The years melted together and even though I had recently been separated from the love of my life for a while, I couldn't remember a time where I was not consciously aware of Edward's love and presence in my life.

He heard my stomach grumble and carried me into Emmett's well-stocked kitchen and fixed me something to eat, ignoring the wedding conversation from his sisters and mother and continued glancing at me and my baby bump ever chance he got. I placated the ladies by nodding and adding in a brief comment in every now and then to my wedding conversation. At this point, I didn't care if Edward was dressed as a clown and I was wearing whore makeup as I walked down the aisle, my wedding would be perfect as long as my funny honey was there with me that day and promised me his love for me and our baby forever.

After I ate, Edward helped me out of my chair and we made our way to the door through the crowd of kisses and hugs and congratulations from the family. At the end of the line of our family, there was little rambunctious Alice, my best friend and soon-to-be sister-in-law. She gave me the fiercest hug of all and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"I can't wait to go shopping for your little baby, Bella." I smiled at her and hugged her back tightly. Edward was already at the open door and helped me into my coat. Even though I didn't really like being pampered like my sisters did, I realized that Edward just wanted to show me in his every motion that he loved me. He didn't even know how great of a father he was going to be to this baby. I smiled and he noticed it and grinned back at me. It seemed ever since we had made up that there was a never-ending supply of smiles and love in our little world.

We walked out to our car hand in hand as he helped warm me up in the cool environment of Forks, Washington in the end of November. He opened the door for me and I smiled my thanks to my husband-to-be. We drove home in a comfortable silence as the heater blasted out some warmth and Edward naturally clasped my hand and we listened to his CD of his compositions.

As soon as we got home, I glanced at the clock and realized it was already nine o'clock at night. I tried suppressing a yawn but failed and stretched my arms above my head. I didn't realize that my sneaky fiancé had stealthily gotten behind me and suddenly I was scooped up into his arms and he settled us onto the couch. He caressed my face as I snuggled instinctively into his body. He turned on the television to some mindless sitcom that we barely paid attention to. My days did not have enough time for me to fully appreciate and worship the perfect body of my Edward.

As ten o'clock rolled by, Edward realized my tiredness and carried me up to our bedroom. We hadn't spoken a single word since we left Emmett and Rosalie's apartment and to most people, that would be a sign of concern and a sign that a relationship was failing. Even as kids, Edward and I would go hours upon hours without even speaking to each other.

Esme had said that we had our way of talking to each other like we were already a long married couple. We instinctively read into every movement, every glance, and every word and deciphered it into its real, deeper meaning. He could find out exactly how I was feeling at any moment without asking me a single question and I could probably write book upon book about just one of Edward's facial expression, spilling every single thing that expression meant from Edward.

No one could beat us at charades or Pictionary. At poker and checkers, we would sit for minutes without making a single move until suddenly we both would make a complicated series of movements in order to outsmart each other. Needless to say, those games could take days with the two of us.

Once upstairs, he slowly shed his shirt and pants and hopped onto his side of the bed in only a pair of hunter green boxers. He closed his eyes and put his arms behind his head on the pillow. With his ankles crossed and his body in that position, he was the vision of perfection and relaxation. My hormones and instincts were begging me and pulling me to just jump on him and ride that pony into oblivion.

But I knew, as well as he did, that tonight wouldn't be about sex at all. After the events with Renee, he just wanted to show me in his tender ways how much he loved and appreciated me and the baby. See? I told you I knew his exact thoughts without even asking him. Instead of giving in like I so wanted to, I changed into a light pink silk camisole and shorts that showed off my blossoming baby bump.

My Edward came up behind me as I observed my body in the mirror and whispered, "Lovely" into my ear. I chuckled and looked at the image of me and my growing family in the mirror in front of us. I had never seen a happier pair of people in the world. Cupid definitely had us in a chokehold. My lover pulled on my hand and led me into our bed.

He turned off the lights and crawled under the covers with me. Only two little dim lights near our bed remained on and I gazed happily into the face of my angel. Every feature of his seraphic face was cast in shadow but the dim lights reflected off his skin and made it glimmer. He reached his hands between us and placed them on my kicking baby.

The grin on his face magnified and I pulled my body closer to his. He kissed me goodnight gently before reaching his head down to our baby. He caressed the bump again and nuzzled it with his tickling chin stubble before giving it a warm kiss on the top.

"Goodnight my little Edward Charles." With that, he pulled me completely into his arms and had me rest my head on his chest where I heard his vital heartbeat as I played with his little chest hairs. The last words I heard before I fell asleep was my perfect husband singing to me.

"…We share the same soul, oh, oh, oh, we share the same soul, oh, oh, oh…."

**OK, ready guys, all together now, AWWWWW!!!.**

**Yeah, I'm back for good and I plan on updating this story every Wednesday or Tuesday if I feel like it. Sorry this chapter was so short. Please forgive me. : ( Songs for this chapter are: Funny Honey from the musical Chicago, Cupid's Chokehold- Gym Class Heroes, I Want To Save You (Acoustic)- Something Corporate, and Angel- Jack Johnson.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and please review.**

**Love always, Amanda Lynn.**


	10. Romeo & Juliet

The next morning I woke up facing the window as my ever-adoring fiance spooned into my side. Our blinds to the balcony were open and when I gazed out into our backyard from the comfort of Edward's fiery arms, I saw nothing but white. It looked like it had snowed a foot outside overnight and though the French doors were slightly ajar, I felt no cold.

That was probably attributed to the fact that Edward had one arm slung low on my uncovered hips and the other wrapped protectively around our growing son. My little Edward Charles. Somewhere in my head that name just didn't feel right to me. Charles and Renee were less than attentive to me and both openly protested my pregnancy but Carlisle and Esme, well, as far as I was concerned, they were my real role models in life.

I tested the new name I had thought of for our son in my head. I sounded it out loud softly, as to not wake my slumbering man, "_Edward Carlisle_." I grinned hugely as I stared out the French doors. It was the perfect name for our perfect little boy. I unexpectedly felt a drop of warm liquid on my bare shoulder and turned as well as I could to gaze into the glossy eyes of my beloved.

He laughed, embarrassed at getting caught crying by his hormonal, pregnant wife and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"You must think I'm a gigantic pussy now, love. I'm sorry...", he drifted off into silence as I placed a quivering finger over his deep red lips.

"I don't think that at all, Edward. It's a typical reponse. In fact, I bet Mom and Dad will drop a tear or two as well when we tell them later today when the gang all comes over later today for dinner."

He flipped us so his back was relaxed against the plush duvet of our bed and I was snuggled into his chest. He carressed my baby bump and felt his son's soccer kick through the layers of my body. His face at his son's acknowledgment of his father put the most spellbinding smile on his face. Edward leaned his head down to me and gently kissed my lips.

"What did I ever do to get this all to be mine?", he questioned me seriously. I almost laughed at him. How ridiculous was it that my perfect husband (well, in three days he would be) didn't know how good he was.

"Well, you're devilishly handsome", I said as I kissed him.

"You're insanely generous with charities", I kissed him again.

"You're a great doctor."

"You adore your family and mine."

"You're giving me this beautiful little baby."

Each one of my statements ended in another torturously short kiss until I reached the most important reason of all.

"And for some magical reason, you've completely enchanted my soul and I am etnerally grateful that you love me back too."

I locked my arms behind his head and sucked his bottom lip into my mouth. We continued our little makeout session until Edward realized that the position was getting a little uncomfortable for me and my four-month pregnant belly. He brought me to lay flush next to him on our comfy mattress and he wrapped his hand around mine as we lay panting amongst the sheets.

We laid there for a while with our heads turned toward each other and our hands entwined, just staring at each other. There would never be a day where my eyes would tire of looking at him, the deliriously perfect religious icon laying next to me. He gently took the tangled strands of hair in my face and pushed them to the side.

"She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses: I will answer it. I am too bold. 'Tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head?"

I blushed profusely at his words. He was such a Shakespeare freak. He was quoting some of Romeo's first lines as he gazed upon Juliet by her bedroom in Act 2 of the play. He noticed my blush and smiled, continuing onward with Romeo's next lines and we both knew of their appropriateness at this time.

"The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp."

I playfully pushed my dork onto his back again and jumped on him tickling his ribs, where I knew I would ellicit several unmanly giggles from my lover.

"Did you have to steal somebody else's lines?", I inquired jokingly from Edward. He caged me into his arms and pushed me back on my back easily.

"Did you have to steal my heart so?", he replied smugly and captured my swollen lips into an another heart-wrenching kiss.

"Touche", I breathed quietly against his lips as he kissed me thoroughly once again.

He looked down at me and our baby reverently with pure joy in his eyes.

"I can't express how much I love you two without using a billion cliches in the process." He pressed his forehead against mine as he supported his weight on his his elbows so he wouldn't hurt the baby.

"I know. I can't believe that in three days I'll forever be Mrs. Edward Cullen."

He nuzzled his stubbly jaw against my chin. "I know, me neither. What I can't believe even more is that in five months we both get to meet our little miracle."

I grudgingly pulled myself from Edward's embrace to put on my green silk robe and sit cross-legged across from his gangly, lounging frame on the bed.

"He really is a miracle, isn't he? You would have married Tayna if it weren't for him, I would have pined for you forever, and we would be dancing around each other for eternity."

Edward laughed. "I guess he is. Come over here so I can thank my son." I scooted over to where he had finally pulled himself into a sitting position against the headboard. He wrapped one arm around my shoulder and squeezed gently as he brought his other arm to where his son lay inside me. He leaned down a little and started rubbing my belly as he talked to our son.

"Good morning son. You know your mother brought up a very interesting point. You really are our little miracle. But what she doesn't know is that I wouldn't have married that Tayna hag anyway that day. I know I've been a selfish person in the past and I drove the most important person to me away from me. But thanks to you, little buddy, I got her back here with me, in my arms. I love your momma and you more than any words can really express. I can't wait to marry her in three days and I can't wait to meet you in five more months.

EJ, I hope to God that you have your momma's eyes and her hair and her smile. I can't wait to see you with your eyes open and smiling at me and your momma for the first time. But while you're in there, can you do a solid for me? Can you be as gentle as possible to my Bella dear? She's put up with a lot of sh--I mean grief from me and I want you to help me make this pregnancy as comfortable as possible. If you do that, I swear that as soon as you can walk I'll teach you to play baseball and swim and all that sort of stuff. Thanks little man and thanks for coming into my life, you have no clue how much happiness you've brought our family already. I love you."

With that he kissed his son and we both felt Edward Jr. kick us both. Our eyes magnetically glued to one another as we smirked happy matching smiles. I was crying profusely after Edward's little speech to our son and he returned to his original position next to me and lovingly wiped the tears from my eyes.

Edward's speech had evoked this proud feeling in me and that ever-satisfying realization that I had the perfect family. I noticed the changes in him since I had gotten pregnant. Edward was able to stop being such an asshole, he stopped swearing, he grew even more protective of me, and his eyes shimmered whenever we spoke of our baby. Edward was able to grow up and man up to be the father that he was already becoming.

People usually say that any man can be a father but not everyone can be a dad and that a mother becomes a woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant, but a man only becomes a father when he sees his baby for the first time. I agreed with the first statement but not the last. Edward was a great example of this. Before he proposed to me, I knew in my heart that Edward wasn't father material at all. I mean he had treated me like dirt after we had sex together but he changed and became a dad. He hadn't even met his baby yet but he was already such a dad. He made sure I ate properly and he massaged my aching back and feet at the end of most days. I was so glad he had changed for us.

Our emotional moment was over now and Edward rose up from the bed and walked over to my side and pulled me up. We both stood there naked without any animal urge to jump each other like teenagers. He glided into the bathroom as I took an unabashed look at his ass as he walked away. Just because I didn't want to jump him at the moment didn't mean I didn't want watch his sexy ass leave.

Once I heard his shower start and Edward begin to sing "Rock Show" by Blink-182, I walked downstairs and started making Edward's favorite breakfast food, stuffed French toast topped with confectioner's sugar, strawberries, and whipped cream. Edward had always had the oddest obsession with strawberries. He claimed I smelled like them but I never smelled it.

Shortly after his French toast was done, he came downstairs whistling "Be My Escape" by Relient K. He came up behind me while I was at the stove making my food and wrapped his arms around me, buried his head in my neck, and inhaled deeply. I turned from him and gave him a puzzled look.

"What? You smell like sex and strawberries."

We took our seats at our kitchen nook on the bench and snuggled as we fed each other. Alice always made fun of us when she witnessed moments like this. I could hear her words echoing in my head. _"Bella Swan, you already act like you're on your honeymoon with my brother, get your act together and drag him to a chapel already." _The ironic part of that was now that we were getting married, she refused to let us participate in planning it at all. Rose said it was our wedding but Alice was adamant. She wanted us to be surprised. In fact, I hadn't even seen my dress yet. She had designed it with my new pregnant proportions in mind.

We finished eating in a comfortable silence and he stood at my side and rinsed the dishes as I washed them. Though we were not yet wed, we had already fallen into a pattern of doing things together and it made me feel settled. I could easily stay this way until I'm sixty-four. Edward wanted to go get more things for the baby's room since we now knew its sex. He had already painted the baby's room emerald green and put in a cherry finished crib but he wanted me to decorate the rest with him. I didn't deserve him at all, I swear.

We drove with hands clasped together towards a designer baby boutique. I had protested at first but Edward calmly told me that it was for our son and that's all it took to melt my heart on this issue. I could never deny my baby boy anything.

When we arrived at the oddly expensive boutique, Edward opened my door for me and shielded me from the harsh December chill. He opened the boutique door for me and as soon as I walked into a explosion of pink and blue. Then I was swamped by Rose, Alice, and Esme. I looked back at Edward in confusion as to why my soon-to-be in-laws were here at this particular baby boutique. Edward just shrugged his shoulders and gave me his trademark smile.

I turned back to the three smiling women in front of me and crossed my arms as best as I could at this point.

"So, Bella, yesterday Edward told me you guys found out the sex of the baby and we were here just shopping for the baby and you know how I hate those "unisexual" outfits so I was wondering--actually we were all wondering if you would tell us now so we could shop with you guys", Alice managed to say all in one breath. She then gave me those puppy-dog eyes that she knew I could never resist before. Damn Cullens and their stupid magic eyes.

Edward cleared his throat behind me and piped up in my defense.

"You will all find out later tonight at dinner. Now, ladies, if you'll excuse us, I'm going to take my wife--I mean fiancee on a little date now."

He winked the girls and they all winked back as if they were all in on some secret project or something. He wrapped his arm around me and began to usher me out of the store.

As we left the store Esme yelled, "It's on the stove, Ed. Good luck!"

What the hell did that mean? ' It's on the stove, Ed. Good luck! ' What was Edward up to now?

"But Edward---what was..."

I was silenced by Edward's fingers on my lips.

"Never you mind, love. We've got somewhere to be soon. But first I have to go over to Mom and Dad's quickly for something, is that alright?"

I nodded in agreement, stunned by my ever-confusing fiance. We drove in silence once again. You would think one would get tired of silence in a car but Edward and I had already grown so comfortable together. There wasn't anything about each other that we didn't already know. He dashed out of the car as soon as we pulled into the Cullen's cul-de-sac driveway and returned no less than a minute later with a picnic basket in his hand. He sped out of the driveway in the typical Cullen manner and started driving towards my parents' house in the next neighborhood.

My mind immediately traveled back to high school. There was a little hiking path that was directly in between our houses that led to this beautiful meadow that was filled with wildflowers in the spring and summer. Even when we had other obligations in high school, Edward and I would sneak out of our respective houses and hang out together at our meadow. It was our way of staying connected to each other even though I was busy with school and Edward was busy making out with cheerleaders.

I remembered one night in particular. _Junior year had been a difficult year to live through on the Edward front. We had rarely spent any time at the meadow anymore and I saw him at my locker everyday making out with his girlfriend, Jessica Stanley. He had once told me that our meadow was ours, something special belonging to only us and that he swore to never bring anyone else here._

_But one day in May before my AP test, I had overheard Jessica talking to Lauren at Jessica's locker as she applied a new coat of lipgloss._

_"So, OMG, guess where Eddie took me last night?"_

_Lauren's barely there eyebrows rose. "OMG, like where, Jess?"  
_

_"We went to this field thingy by his house. It was soooooo romantic. But I, like, noticed that his intials were on a tree with Bella Swan's."_

_"C'mon, Jess, you're so joking, he would, like, never touch that book freak, you know?"_

"Totally. So I asked him about it because we, like, are sooo honest with each other." I snorted here quietly. Edward didn't know then that she was making out with Mike Newton last weekend. "And he said that he totally hates Swan, he just puts up with her because his mom loves her. Isn't that just sad?"

_"God, totally, like, she is the most hideous thing on the planet."_

_"I know. But it got even better when Edward just jumped on me and..." _

_I couldn't stand to hear anymore so I slammed my locker and dashed away hiding my tears, leaving behind two very satisfied smiling bitches behind me. Sadly, in biology later that day, Edward noticed that I was upset. When I refused to answer his questions, he passed me a note._

_**What's got you so pissed off today, Wizard?**_

_None of your fucking business, Cullen._

_**Harsh much? You on the rag or something today? You're not this aggressive to me usually. :(**_

_Well, last time I checked you usually don't take trashy whores to __our__ meadow, dickweed._

_**Hey, for starters, she's not a whore. Secondly, we never said it was our exclusive thing. So just chill, Wizard, OK?**_

_No OK's will fix this Cullen. You know what? You don't have the right to call me Wizard anymore. And actually the meadow was our exclusive thing, sorry, my friendship didn't mean that much to you at all. Let me fix this: You go have lots of fun sex with your whore, you stay away from me, and there won't be anymore fights between us because we aren't friends anymore._

_He frowned as he read my response to him and lifted his pen to write back furiously, but he couldn't because the bell rang. I ignored Edward Cullen's existence for a whole month and he looked as miserable without me as I was without him but I refused to cave in. He was wrong and if he wanted to be friends again, he had to grow up and fucking admit when he was wrong._

_Needless to say, I was surprised when in early June, two days before our Junior Prom, Edward had texted me._

_"__**Meadow 2nite 10?**__" _

_I texted him back promptly._

_"This is the only time I'm giving you to man up. Don't waste it. I'll be there."_

_At ten that night, I walked into the meadow only to see it lit up by thousands of candles. As I walked closer to them, they formed a message in the grass. The beautiful bronze-haired boy standing in the middle of the meadow said the very same thing that his candle message read._

_"I'm sorry." Like that, my resolve to stay away from him snapped and I leaped into his waiting arms as he gave me a tender hug. We sat there in the meadow talking about what had happened since our big fight as the candles burned out one by one._

_It must have been around two in the morning when there was only a couple lights burning dim in the background. Edward was staring into my eyes purposely._

_"You know, I'd much rather be going to Prom with you, Wizard." I frowned sadly but wondered when he would stop teasing me for my Harry Potter obsession._

_"No, you don't, Edward, you have the perfect girlfriend. Why on earth would you want to go with me?"_

_He searched my eyes carefully before responding, "Because you're the only one I've ever wanted." He leaned forward then and kissed me on my lips. When we finally pulled back, I touched my lips to feel the lingering spark in the skin there that Edward had left there._

Even now, I mimicked the motions that daydream-teenage-me just did. My lips still tingled for Edward's touch to this day. I wondered if I would ever be acclimated to him and I hoped I never would be. I turned my head to see my fiance staring at me curiously and I noticed that the car was already parked at the entrance to the hiking trail.

"What were you daydreaming about for the last ten minutes, love?" I blushed a furious pink.

I replied saucily, "My first kiss."

"Hmm...I remember that. But you know I kiss better now, right?"

"Of course, but the sensation still does the same thing to me."

"Me too. I love you, Wizard." I smiled as he remembered my childhood nickname.

He leaned over the dash to kiss me again and then he got out with his picnic basket in hand to open my door. He gently pulled me out of my seat and we started off on our way to the meadow. We had walked hand-in-hand for at least a mile and a half and I knew we only had about three-quarters of a mile left to walk before we reached the meadow. This was the perfect time to ask him my question.

"So what exactly are we doing out here on this chilly December day, dear husband?"

"What? Are you cold? We can go back if you'd like. This was a bad idea for today. I'm so sorr--"

I interrupted him, "No, I'm fine, I'm just wondering what kind of trouble you're up to, Mr. Cullen."

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, that is for me to know and for you to find out, now isn't it?"

We truded along through the snow together until we reached the opening to the meadow. He pulled me back gently and said, "I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

We kissed and then it was almost like deja vu. The meadow was once again lit by candles. Someone had come out and wrote cursive into the snow and then put candles in the trenches they created. The message this time read, Je t'aime plus que toute autre chose. I love you more than anything.

My face probably looked radiant right now as Edward couldn't stop smiling at me with that glowing smile of his.

"I love it but when did you have time to do it." He smiled sheepishly at me.

"I snuck out last night while you were sleeping. I wanted to show that I really do love you mroe than anything."

"It's perfect, thank you." He walked to the center of the meadow, where no candles were burning and put his basket on the snow-covered ground. He took out a thick, red, fleece blanket and laid it gently on the ground. Edward then sat on the corner closest to the basket, shed his coat to reveal his perfect chest covered by a hunter green button up. He patted the ground next to him and smiled. I went to sit next to him and waited patiently as he emptied the basket and set things up.

"I know it's cold out here so Mom made us hot chocolate and sugar cookies." Esme, god bless her soul, she was the sweetest thing on the planet by helping his son with his little getaway for us. As we sat eating and drinking quietly, I couldn't help but think this was perfect. He put everything back in the basket after we were done eating and jumped out into the snow.

I laughed at my silly, Peter Pan-like husband. "C'mon, Bells, play with me!" I raised my eyebrows.

He threw a snowball at me that hit me in my leg.

"Not like that pervert."

I stuck my tongue out at him and made a snowball of my own. Of course I missed but we continued throwing snowballs back and forth. He started chasing me as I ran away from his attack. Sadly, he was much faster than me and he grabbed my waist. I squealed and we both fell back on to the snow. We were both panting and blushing as we lay there.

He had snowflakes thrown about his already messy mane as his green eyes sparkled at me. He tucked me into his side and we watched the clouds go by above us until we realized our clothes were soaked. We walked back to the car and he handed me another blanket, blue this time and turned on our seatwarmers as we went home.

I must've fallen asleep during the drive because the next thing I knew I was in his sinewy arms as he carried me into the bathroom. He drew us a bath and washed us both without any real sexual tension. I heard the pixie and her minions downstairs making the dinner plan we set out. Everything was either blue or hinting at a baby boy.

Edward sat behind me in our bath, gently carressing our baby and enjoying his little kicks at me. We dried off and dressed and prepared to go downstairs, knowing that everyone was already waiting for us.

"You look stunning, love", Edward said as he smooched me. He linked his arm in mine and we walked down the stairs. I was in a dark blue sundress with blue ballet flats and Edward was wearing a button up and slacks in the same color as my dress. As soon as we reached the bottom of the steps we were assaulted by our family.

"A boy..wow."

"What are you naming him?"

"He'll be the best-dressed boy in Seattle!"

"My grandson...amazing."

"He won't be a pansy like his dad when it comes to sports."

Eventually they all settled and we ate. Later on that night, Esme and Carlisle were the only ones left in the sat on the loveseat opposite us as we told them what we had named our son.

Carlisle had tears openly running down his face. He walked over and kneeled in front of us. "Thank you so much." He rubbed the spot where his grandson lay and he greeted his grandfather with a kick. Esme wrapped all three of us (well technically all four of us) into a bone crushing hug I didn't think possible from such a small woman.

"I love you all so much. Thank you Bella for this gift." I looked up into her teary eyes.

"Thank you for Edward. I don't know what I would do without him."

They left eventually and Edward and I were alone again. He wrapped his strong arms around me.

"Two more days now, love. I can't wait."

"Me neither. I can't believe we're getting married on Christmas Eve."

He turned me in his arms so I could look into his eyes. "It seems like things are only getting better, it seems like we can never catch a keep a hold of me, don't let go. If you float away, if you float away. Waiting too long for a ship to come. Don't you float away, don't float away", he sang to me.

I playfully tapped his chest. "My little lyric nerd." He laughed.

"Wizard." I yawned and then he sang again as we walked upstairs. "Let's go to bed, let's stop debating. Look at the time, we're always waiting. But we're in love and that should be just fine."

I collapsed as soon as I hit the mattress. Edward snuggled in behind me and while stroking my hair, whispered the last words I heard that night.

_**Don't you float away, don't you float away.**_

**-------------------------------------------**

**So the lyrics are from Island by The Starting Line and it's their honeymoon song pretty much. Hope you enjoyed my longer chapter. Next one is the wedding. Now remember Alice planned this all and Edward and Bella have no clue what it is. They could be married in potato sacks or in ball gowns. *Evil laugh* So send me ideas for the wedding and I'll write them. Thanks again, Amanda.**

**Songs:**

**Romeo & Juliet- The Killers**

**Rock Show- Blink 182**

**Be My Escape- Relient K**

**When I'm Sixty-Four- The Beatles**

**She Paints Me Blue- Something Corporate**


	11. Never Think

**Readers, I may not be Stephanie and own Twilight but she agreed that I could own Revieward, my own personal FanFiction god. Be jealous. LOL. Today's the wedding. YAY!! I want help with future plot ideas please. I dedicate this to the people that mean the most to me, even the ones that have already passed me by. I love you all & I can't wait to see you again.**

**BEWARE: LOTS OF SONG LYRICS TYPED OUT. If you don't like the lyrics then skip them. They're generally the longer passages in Italics.**

_Christmas Eve, 2009 : Wedding Day_

I awoke on my wedding day to an empty bed, seeing how Edward had to leave our bed at daybreak according to wedding Nazi, Alice Whitlock. My stereo was playing music, which was odd because no one should have turned it on in the first place this morning.

I smelled a floral scent to my left and to my surprise, there were a bouquet of stargazer lillies next to me with a note attached from Edward and once again the lyric freak managed to quote words from the very song that was playing on the stereo.

_It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose._

_Wherever it goes, I always know that you make me smile, please, stay for a while._

_Just take your time wherever you go._

_I can't wait to see you wherever and whenever Alice decided for us._

_And I can't wait to start loving you for the rest of my life._

_Love with everything I have,_

_Edward. _

_P.S In case you get lost, I'll be the one standing next to the minister._

I smiled and inhaled the scent of the lillies next to me. There was a freshly made tray of breakfast with Edward and I's signature stuffed French toast and milk and strawberries with yet another note at the foot of the bed.

I crawled down to where my tasty feast lay and grabbed it and brought it back to my comfy position by the headboard. I took the note out from underneath the plate on the tray and opened it up.

It was another note from Edward. This one was short and simple, but still took my breath away.

_For my loving wife & son,_

_So you have the energy to walk down that aisle._

_Love, Edward._

The man had clearly thought of everything to make this day the most relaxed and happiest day of my life. I was eating my breakfast while staring out at the glowing sunrise in the suburbs of Seattle when Alice, for once, entered my room calmly.

She smiled as she took in her brother's tokens of affection for me and she sat down on my bed next to me. I leaned my head on her shoulder after I put the tray and empty plate on our nighttable and let out a happy sigh. She ran her fingers through my hair as she spoke.

"So he cheated and gave you a copy of the wedding CD already?" I turned to face her.

"What do you mean, Alice?"

She huffed.

"I made your guests CDs for the wedding. They're supposed to pick them up as they enter and that way, they'll never forget your wedding day because they'll have the songs from it forever. That fucker of a brother."

She crossed her arms and huffed again as I wrapped my soon-to-be sister into my arms. "What's this for, Baby Bell?"

Me, being a hormonal mess, sniffled. "God, Alice, you've done so much for us. I don't know how I can ever repay you."

She pulled herself from my embrace slightly so she could look me in my eyes.

"You don't need to repay me. Sisters remember? You're repaying me by making yourself and my brother happy forever and popping out lots of little Cullens." She rubbed my stomach. "Speaking of baby Cullens, how's little Edward Carlisle this morning?"

I laughed. "Esme told you already?"

Alice beamed. "Yep, her and Dad were still over the moon about it when they called at midnight. They love you, hell, we all love you so much."

I wiped more tears out of my eyes. "I know. Actually, he's been kicking like crazy this morning. He must miss his daddy."

"Yeah, or he's super psyched about his parents getting married today?" I scrunched my face up.

"Super psyched, Alice? Who even says that anymore?"

"Pft, me! Now, I hate to break up this sap fest but we've got to be at the spa Edward's credit card and I planned for us today by ten. It's seven-thirty so get your butt in the shower."

I followed Alice's instructions as she bounced downstairs, doing God knows what to my house. Once I felt refreshed and clean, I walked over to the wicker chest in front of the bed to find my clothes for the day where already picked out and they weren't picked out by Alice.

I knew this because there was yet another note from Edward accompanying it.

_I knew you probably didn't want to pick anything out for today so I did for you._

_A blue sweater because it makes your brown eyes shimmer._

_Jeans because it's the last time you'll be wearing them for a while ; )_

_And socks for your cold feet. _

_Love, Edward_

Again, Edward amazed me with his cheesiness but it never would sound so sincere coming from anybody else. His last statement puzzled me. Maybe he meant literally that my feet may be cold or that he thought I was thinking about leaving him at the altar. Hmm.

I dressed according to his specifications and met Alice downstairs. She beamed and dragged me to the Porsche. It was nine o'clock. Had I really taken that long?

She sped off and played around with the radio until she got Edward and I's favorite radio station. I rose my eyebrows at her because I knew she hated our kind of music.

"What?", she said innocently."Can't a girl enjoy a cruddy punk song?"

She turned up the radio just in time for me to hear my favorite person in the world's voice come through the speakers.

"Hi, I'd like to request a song."

I smiled. My hero.

"Sure, what's your name?", the DJ inquired.

"Edward Cullen."

I could almost feel his grin through the stereo.

"What's the occasion, man?"

"My long-time sweetheart and I are getting married today and I just want her to know how perfect she is for me and how she still takes my breath away."

"Oh, you're Bella Swan's fiance. I didn't realize. Actually, I was invited to your wedding. I'm one of Bella's best friends, Jacob Black."

"Wow, small world."

"Yeah", Jake replied. "So what song are we sending out to that blushing bride?"

Edward chuckled. "It Had To Be You by Motion City Soundtrack."

"An excellent choice, man. Any message out there for the lovely lady?"

"Bella, you never made me as happy as you will tonight. I swear to love you and our little boy forever."

Jake laughed. "There you have it. This is Jacob Black and Edward Cullen here saying congratulations and we love you to Miss Bella Swan. Enjoy."

Alice looked at me with an awestruck look in her eye. "Wasn't that romantic?". she said as the strains of Motion City Soundtrack flowed from her speakers.

"Yeah", I replied breathlessly.

We drove without talking, just enjoying the song Edward picked for me.

_I get lost, messed up, & bored when I'm alone._

_I can't sleep, function, or eat when I'm not with someone._

_Late last fall she ended it all & moved to who knows where_

_Just like that, she vanished & packed, & never even called._

I laughed because that fit Edward's life so perfectly.

_Do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself & I? _

_A kind of macabre & somber wondertwin type of harmony?_

Once again, that was Edward and I to a tee. I leaned my head back on the headrest and let the rest of the song envelop me.

But the end of the song struck me as Edward's real message to me this time.

_What if it was you?_

_You that I needed all along._

_I felt it like a fool._

_Now that I'm sure that I was wrong._

_It had to be you._

_It had to be you._

_It had to be you._

_I knew it was you._

Alice tapped my shoulder and shook me out of my happy reverie.

"We're already here, Blushing Bride." I looked at her car clock. It was now ten-fifteen.

We got out of the car and entered the spa that Alice (with the help of my poor Edward's beleaguered credit card) booked all day just for us girls.

I was told that our venue had no place for us to change and so we were dressing here as well and heading to the wedding at four-thirty this afternoon. The boys were at Carlisle and Esme's preparing the area for the reception and get dressed there and then setting up the wedding at the site Alice picked.

Other than that I had no information on my wedding day. Rose and Esme assaulted me with hugs on my way in.

"So she didn't show, eh?" Esme's face fell.

"No, I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't understand why she hates you so. I mean you're going to be my daughter in less than six hours and I already think you're the most perfect daughter ever. Other than my Alice of course." She laughed a little at the end after Alice pouted at her mother.

"It's OK. As far as I'm concerned, my real family is already here, Mom", I said with tears in my eyes.

Esme pulled me into another hug and we cried on each other's shoulders. Rose and Alice joined our family hormonal tear fest, tearing up as well.

We stood there like that for several minutes and I felt the pure feeling of sisterhood running through my veins. It felt nice. After a lifetime of having Em be my only real family, I finally had all my favorite people as family.

I heard a throat clear from behind us, shocking us out of the emotional hug. All of us were wiping our eyes in embarassment.

"I'm sorry. Is everything OK?"

We all nodded and the woman continued talking.

"I'm Amanda and your mani/pedi is ready." **(And oh, yes, I soooo put myself in a story. :D)**

We followed her into the back room and Alice took her iPod out and turned it on in a dock that the spa had there. We all got seated in our chairs as It Won't Be Long by The Beatles came on.

It was the version by Evan Rachel Wood and the girls all looked at me to start singing. It was just like karaoke nights all over again. The girls took backup as I took the lead.

_It won't be long, yeah, yeah._

_It won't be long, yeah, yeah._

_It won't be long, yeah,_

_Til I belong to you, woo._

We laughed as the song cross-faded into the next. I giggled, it was Hold Me Tight by The Beatles and it was also the version by Evan Rachel Wood. Once again we sang our hearts out as our nails were all done in a light pink they called "Snowflake Pink".

_Hold me tight,_

_Let me know I'm loving you to-night, to-night._

_Making love to only you,_

_So hold me tight, to-night, to-night._

_It's you, you, you, you, ooh, ooh._

_Oh no, what it means to hold you tight._

_Being here alone tonight with you._

_It feels so right now, feels so right now._

The song soon faded into nothingness and Esme, who was to my left, put her hand gently on my arm. She beamed an angelic, crooked smile which I knew she gave to Edward.

"I'm so glad you're getting married to my son today, Bella."

I giggled. "I'm getting married today!!" The girls all whooped and we were led to a massage after that. I had heard that pregnant women were only allowed to have a certain kind of massage and I was curious what was I going to do while the ladies were getting their hot stone massage.

The masseuse took one look at me and her face lit up. "You must be the bride. Your fiance had already told us that you were pregnant and he booked you for a prenatal massage. How far along are you?"

I smiled and looked down at my bump. "Four months."

She clapped her hands. "You are absolutely glowing! Let's get started."

I allowed myself to disappear into the relaxing feeling in my muscles and forgot about all the problems that had ever plagued me with my parents or with Edward. I thought of nothing but of everything at the same time. This day was really shaping up to be the most perfect day of my life.

This whole pregnancy thing must have completely kicked my butt because the next thing I knew I was waking up and a delivery man had arrived with a catered lunch. I smiled as I realized just hungry I was.

I turned to Alice. "Thanks, Ali", I said as she hit her head. I gave her my best puzzled face.

"I totally forgot about lunch. Especially with you being pregnant, we need all the energy we can get. Thank God at least Edward has a brain."

I laughed. Most of the time the only words I ever heard out of Alice's mouth about Edward were her sarcastic, snippy, yet playful insults to him. I guess that all got set aside today for my wedding.

"Hey, don't you dare tell him I said that either", she said while narrowing her eyes and pointing her finger at me. I saluted her.

"Aye, aye, Captain." I was then distracted by Esme and Rose over by the food.

"Bella, you've got a message!", Rose boomed. The ladies all wolf-whistled at me as I blushed and I walked over to Rosalie where she held out the note for me.

_Bella & crazy lady company (don't tell them I wrote that)_

_Us boys were slaving away at my parents' house while you beautiful ladies are at the spa and we figured that our lovely women needed some nourishment since the crazy pixie forgot. Bells, I can't wait to get married still. You'll always have my heart._

_Avec amour, Edward._

As I read the note aloud to them, Esme and Rose giggled and awed but Alice was fuming. She pulled out her cell phone and furiously pushed the speed dial that she had Edward on.

"Why I oughta, Edward Anthony Cullen!-----Oh don't give me that crap.-----Stop worrying, she's fine---Yes, she still plans on marrying your dork ass---" She growled here and lowly whispered. "Five minutes, Edward, no more.---OK, see you there."

She held the phone out to me and I dashed for it. Before I could grab it, she put her open hand out into a stop sign. "Five minutes, don't abuse it."

I laughed as she handed me the phone.

"Edward."

"Bella, I miss you." I sat down on a chair by all the food and filled my plate up with fruit salad, a ham sandwich, and chocolate chip cookies.

"I miss you too, Edward."

I heard him sigh over the line. "How's little EJ?"

I chuckled. "Kicking like crazy. He's feeling all the excitement out here and he misses his daddy."

"I miss my little boy too. So still planning on marrying me?"

At this point, Alice brought two fingers up in the air, spread into the peace sign. Two more minutes? I could never get my fill of Edward's voice.

"Yes, in case you get confused and disoriented, I'll be the pregnant one in white. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Me neither." Alice now was standing in front of me with her palm outstretched. He must have sensed this I suppose. "She wants you to get off the phone, doesn't she?

"Unfortunately." He sighed and I heard him running his fingers through his hair. "I love you." I didn't care how many times I said it, I would never be able to tell him enough.

"Je t'aime plus que toute autre chose." _I love you more than anything._ Hmm. I searched my memory for something cute to say to him in French.

"Je suis a toi." _I am yours._ He laughed.

"I know. Ciao, Bella."

"Ciao."

I surrendered the phone to Alice and we ate. Later on, I wouldn't remember anything we talked about during lunch. It all blurred into this wordless babble but it meant the world to me. It meant family.

After lunch was over and picked up, the ladies went off to start getting dressed while I was shipped off for facials and waxing and such. I checked the spa's clock to see that it was already two o'clock.

Time rolled by as I relaxed and just let the treatments happen and eventually it was 3:45. Alice knocked on the door and came in and I got my first real look at my wedding.

She wore a pale pink gown, strapless with intricate little beading in the bodice. It was tight all the way to her hips and then flared out into an elegant bottom. Her hair was messily curled around her petite features as always and she wore a pair of light pink, four-inch pumps under her dress.

"Wow, Alice, you look stunning." She came over to my seat and hugged me.

"Thanks, Baby Bell but we've only got an hour to dress you. Thank goodness the site is only fifteen minutes away from here." She then dragged me into the dressing room and I got to see what Rose and Esme looked like.

Rose's dress was identical to Alice's, as were her shoes as well. Rose's hair was pulled to one side and clipped there. She looked like she fell out of the pages of Modern Bride and I knew I would never look as beautiful as her.

She must have read my mind or something because suddenly she said, "This is nothing compared to you, Baby Bell."

"Thanks, Rose, but I won't look that good."

"We're going to make you even more gorgeous than you already are, Bella", Esme said with her hands on my shoulders. I turned to get my first look at my mother-in-law. She also was wearing light pink but her dress had little sleeves that she had rested on her upper arms and dipped into a little, respectable, V-neck. It fell all the way to her feet and was much sexier than all those other mother-of-the-groom suits.

The ladies sat me down on a purple velvet seat in front of the Hollywood-esque vanity. Alice handed me a white, wrapped package that had a note attached.

"This is from me but Edward and I wrote a note for you on it."

I opened it to find a lace, white, strapless bra and white lace cheekies.

_Bella,_

_I haven't personally seen what the lingerie under your dress will look like but I know I'll be happy because you could be wearing a potato sack and still look ever bit as stunning as you naturally are._

_Love, Edward_

_Baby Bell, _

_Will Edward love it or not? Haha. But seriously, BB, I am so happy that you're finally joining our family. :)_

_Your big sister, Alice._

I wiped little tears out of my eyes and hugged Alice as I discreetly put the set on without removing my robe. I took the robe off after the set was on and sat back down, waiting for the next present. Alice went over to the corner where my wedding dress was in a garment bag and pulled it out. At this point, Esme covered my eyes until Alice had the dress in front of me.

When I opened my eyes, I was rendered breathless. It was exactly the same as the girls' dresses, except it was a shocking snowflake white. It also had beads in the bodice but with gold glitter all over it and real diamonds sewn into the the top of the sweetheart line. They got it on me and then Rose handed me another note.

"This one is from Edward and I." I nodded my head at her and read my latest love letter.

_Bella,_

_I told Rose exactly what I dreamed your dress would look like & she promised it would look a lot like my dreams. If it does, then I know you will sparkle & shine today like the star you are._

_Con amor, Edward._

_Baby Bell, _

_I designed this dress according to Edward's expectations with a few additions. Like the fur lining. Trust me, you're gonna need it. You've always been an awesome baby sister to me BB & I can't wait til I'm officially your sister whenever Emmett proposes._

_Your favoritest bitch, Rose._

I gave Rose a hug as the ladies got to work on my hair and makeup. When they were done, they let me look in the mirror and I gasped. _Is this me?_ My eyes only had a little bit of mascara on them and my lips were painted the same light pink as our nails and their dresses. My hair was left down but I had never looked so good.

"You were right, Esme and Rose." Rose laughed.

"Of course we were. Esme has your last presents."

"Presents?" Rose nodded and Esme came back with a green velvet jewelry box.

"Bella, I have no note for you because I didn't let Edward know about this. In this box are the jewels that all the women marrying Cullen men have ever wore. This dates back to the late nineteenth century and I'm proud to give you these jewels now. You're so beautiful that you don't even need all these jewels but there's yours anyway. Thanks for stealing my son's heart."

She kissed my hair and handed me the box. I peered inside and found a tiara, earrings, a necklace, and a bracelet. I grabbed the bracelet first and put it on. It was silver and had a charm of the Cullen crest on it with little diamonds embedded on it.

Next I took the earrings. They were one carat diamond earrings and looked oddly nice in my ears. Like they belonged there just like I belong in this family. Then I took the necklace. It was also silver with an intricately silver woven, little cage at the bottom. Inside of the cage was a little diamond heart. The last thing I took was the silver tiara with the veil attached to it. It was also intricately woven with little diamonds embedded in it.

I looked in the mirror now and it all came to me suddenly. I was getting married. I must've been looking pale because Esme asked me if I was OK.

I nodded yes. "It's like the butterflies when he kisses me only a million times more. It's not a bad feeling, I know that Mercedes is going to take me home." They all awed at me and then we went in the awaiting Mercedes.

The drive was mercifully short but since the windows were tinted I couldn't really see where we were until Alice helped me out of the car.

_The meadow._

We were parked near the very opening to the meadow and I heard music playing inside the grove. Alice lined us up by the cherry wood tables at the opening where her wedding CDs lay. Emmett came running up the aisle. He was wearing one of those reindeer antler headbands that was obviously too small for him and had his nose painted red.

He caught my puzzled expression at him. "Lost a bet to Jazz", he mumbled. Esme cascaded down the aisle to where her husband sat and she kissed him as they awaited the beginning of the ceremony and they gazed at their tuxedo clad sons who I could not even see yet.

Emmett grabbed my arm gently and looped it into his as the music began playing for the bridesmaids to go down the aisle. My stomach was in knots as I listening to what they walked to.

_Why won't ever know that I'm love with you_

_That I'm in love with you._

_You, soft & only_

_You, lost & lonely_

_You, strange as angels,_

_Dancing in the deepest oceans, _

_Twisting in the water,_

_You're just like a dream._

They reached the end and everyone turned around and stood up as Emmett and I prepared to walk down. He turned to me seriously.

"Baby Bell, you've been my baby sister forever and today I have to give you away to one of the best people I know. I know he'll make you and EJ happy otherwise I wouldn't do this. You look like an angel today, BB. I love you."

"I love you more." Then our music came on and we started walking down the aisle. Automatically, as if by magic, my eyes immediately went to Edward, looking sinful in a tuxedo and tears in his eyes. I only focused on us and the music as I walked to him down the tortuously long aisle.

_You'd never think_

_What's in your heart,_

_What's in our home,_

_Is all I want._

I listened to my former celeb crush, Robert Pattinson, croon out his sweet lyrics and almost laughed at the stupidity of my old crush. The only reason I was ever attracted to him was because he was a more famous version of my Edward. As the song reached its middle, I reached my home. Edward. The last lyrics in the verse played out as Emmett lifted my veil and kissed me goodbye to go stand beside Jasper, next to Edward. My almost husband grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I've wanted this for a really long time."

"I know."

"Wizard..."

_She's standing outside holding me,_

_Saying oh please,_

_I'm in love,_

_I'm in love._

**(By the way, only been to one wedding, so I'm making this shiz up. :D)**

The minister began. "Today we are gathered here today to witness the union of Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Anthony Cullen. Marriage is a sacred union which should not be taken into lightly. These two people have declared their eternal love for one another and have promised to stay faithful throughout all of time.

Who here gives this woman to this man?"

Emmett piped up. "I, Emmett Swan, do."

The minister went on. "In lieu of traditional vows and such, the couple asks Esme Cullen now to come speak a few words about the bride and groom."

Esme left her chair and walked over to the left of the ceremony to where a microphone was awaiting. "Bella & Edward. Edward & Bella. Where one was the other one followed. You've already spent your entire lives thus far together. You were both born on the same day and you've never been separated from each other. Consider it a gift.

You've had your entire lives to love one another and I am blessed to say that I watched from the sidelines as your love grew. It started with you being so attuned to the other's wants and needs and fears and then progressed to Edward picking Bella dandelions and saying he "wuved her" and now you stand before us all, a promise of a new life already within you two, full of nothing but love for each other and I know that whatever comes your way, you will always be in love and always stay strong.

I love you both very much and would like to sing a song for both of you. It's called Awake by Secondhand Serenade."

The music began and Edward turned us so we were staring each other dead in the eye as his mother sang.

_With every appearance by you blinding my eyes,_

_I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do._

_You're an angel disguised_

_And you're lying real still _

_But your heartbeat is fast just like mine_

_And the movie's long over,_

_That's three that have passed, one more's fine._

_(Chorus)_

_Will you stay awake for me?_

_I don't wanna miss anything, _

_I don't wanna miss anything._

_I will share the air I breathe,_

_I'll give you my heart on a string._

_I just don't wanna miss anything._

_I'm trying real hard not to shake,_

_I'm biting my tongue._

_But I'm feeling alive & with every breathe that I take,_

_I feel like I've won._

_You're my key to survival &_

_If it's a hero you want,_

_I can save you._

_Just stay here._

_Your whispers are priceless._

_Your breath, it is dear,_

_So please stay near._

_(Chorus)_

_Say my name, I just want to hear you._

_Say my name, so I know it's true._

_You're changing me, you're changing me,_

_You showed me how to live._

_So just say, so just say_

_That you'll stay awake for me._

_I don't wanna miss anything,_

_I don't wanna miss anything._

_I will share the air I breathe,_

_I'll give you my heart on a string,_

_I just don't wanna miss anything._

Edward and I both had tears in our eyes by the end. Esme had miraculously picked the perfect song for us.

The minister started the ceremony again. "Thank you, Esme. Now, the groom would like to sing a song for his bride before his vows."

I gawked at Edward. He winked. He walked to the mic stand and stool and grabbed his acoustic guitar before speaking.

"Bella has been my entire life all my life and today I really get to show it. So I'm singing Shesgotstyle by Nevershoutnever.

_If it's not those cowboy boots in the summer, _

_Oh my God, I pray for another _

_Chance to drive down back highways_

_Til I stumble upon your beautiful face._

_Your presence isn't what kills me,_

_It's that artistic gleam_

_That's taking over my scenery,_

_Dream by dream._

_You might think I'm incapable _

_Of loving a soul like yours,_

_You might think I'm a fool_

_For you._

_Girl, you got style &_

_That's what I love about you._

_The way that you sit back & watch this grow._

_You've got dreams &_

_Therefore I believe in you._

_All the small town people with their big remarks,_

_They ain't got jack to say about my movie star, _

_She's got style._

_If it's not the fact that I'm a wee bit younger_

_Or the truth that I'm so naive,_

_My heart keeps leaping back to you_

_Like a dog tied to a tree._

_I know it sounds crazy,_

_It's ridiculous to me,_

_But without you by my side, girl..._

_You might I'm incapable _

_Of loving a soul like yours,_

_You might think I'm a fool _

_For you._

_Girl, you got style,_

_That's what I love about you._

_The way that you sit back & watch this grow._

_You've got dreams &_

_Therefore I believe in you._

_All the small town people with their big remarks,_

_They ain't got jack to say about my movie star._

_What are the odds of finding someone just like you._

_Tell me why I never wanted to go back home._

_I'm still falling for you today._

I wiped the tears from my eyes as he returned to me to hold my hand once more.

The minister began talking again, "Edward, repeat after me." Edward nodded and looked at me, straight in the eye, with more passion than humanly possible.

"I, Edward Cullen, do take Isabella Swan as my lawfully wedded wife, for sickness and in health, richer or poorer forever. I swear to be loyal, faithful, patient, and loving to her for the rest of my life."

Edward repeated his words with conviction and the minister read out my vows to repeat. I squeezed Edward's hand and recited my vows gleefully, knowing soon I would be his forever.

"I, Isabella Swan, do take Edward Cullen as my lawfully wedded husband, for sickness and in health, richer or poorer forever. I swear to be loyal, faithful, patient, and loving to him for the rest of my life."

The minister smiled and stage whispered, "Almost done, kids, hold your horses." Everyone laughed and Edward and I blushed. We knew how intense our gazes could get with each other. "May I have the rings?" Alice came forth with the robin's-egg-blue Tiffany boxes.

Edward slipped my wedding band on my hand, his eyes never leaving mine with a whispered "I love you". I did the same for him only I whispered "Love you more".

The minister started again, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Edward grinned.

He cupped his hands around my face and whispered, "Forever" before plunging into my mouth. The kiss took years maybe, I don't know but finally we were married.

"Bella Cullen, I much rather like it." Everyone laughed at my acceptance of my new name. I took my first real look around the meadow. The candles and stargazer lilies everywhere told me who really planned this all. "You planned all of this?"

Edward's eyes twinkled. "Did you think I'd let her plan some crazy wedding? I wanted you to be married where you had your first kiss."

"Well, very nice job, Mr. Cullen. You certainly know how to charm a woman."

Then the photographer came around and we posed for what seemed like a million shots before everyone left for the reception. Edward and I were the only ones left in the chaos of the remnants of our wedding.

"I can't believe we finally did it." He stroked my cheek.

"Me neither, BB. It's so surreal but I can't wait to get you home." He waggled his eyebrows devilishly at me.

I swatted at his face. "Hey, it's bad enough that they all call me Baby Bell, you don't need to join them."

He pouted and crouched down so I could jump on his back. He ran through the snow to our Mercedes. We were both laughing and breathless as we reached the car. He pressed me against the car and started kissing me frantically. Once his lips left my lips to my neck I took a huge breath and spoke.

"I-I think A-a-a-alice will be m-m-mad if we don't go to our own reception." With that he pulled me into the car and the driver left for Carlisle and Esme's. All the while, my husband was simply content to hold my hand over the baby bump.

We finally reached my new mommy and daddy's house and pulled in the long cul-de-sac driveway that led to the ballroom. There were millions of twinkle lights strung up in the trees and in the gazebo where Edward and I would be entering. He opened the door and grabbed my hand again.

"Ready for the madness, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Only if you are, Mr. Cullen."

We then walked up the steps to the gazebo amidst yells and catcalls and wolf whistles from our fifty guests. As we entered the ballroom, All I Want Is You played.

_All I want is you, _

_Will you stay with me?_

_Take me by the hand & _

_Stand by my side._

_All I want is you,_

_Will you stay with me?_

_Hold me in your arms &_

_Swing me like a sea._

We made our way to our table in the ballroom that was set on a platform. Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper joined us on either side of us as dinner was served. Dinner went pretty flawlessly. We were laughing and joking around with our friends but Edward kept a constant hold on my hand and he occasionally brought our joined hands to my stomach to feel little EJ kick us.

Our faces broke out into identical smiles and we were well aware of all the eyes upon us. I realized our sweet moment could have been taken for something sexual and I blushed. Edward leaned over under the pretense of brushing back some hair I had in my eye.

"They're not thinking what you believe they are." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh really now?" He laughed.

"Yeah, have my dashing good looks dazzled you so much that you have forgotten that I can read minds?"

"No, not really. But if you can read minds, what I am thinking right now then Mr. Cullen?" He made a serious thinking face and he beamed.

"You love me." I laughed at him.

"I thought you already knew that", I whispered seriously. He brought his free hand from his plate to carress my cheek.

"I never tire of hearing it though, Bella." He pressed his forehead to mine.

"Me neither. I love you, Edward." He squeezed my hand.

"As I love you, Bella."

Suddenly there was a loud screech as somebody tried to use the microphone. As it started to work, we heard what the speaker was saying under their breath as Edward and I remained in our little reverie.

"Ugh....fuck...I hate this shit...Why do I need a mic...But Rosie!" The speaker cleared their throat. "OK, so if the two lovebirds can stop fornicating in the corner, I'd like to start my speech."

Emmett gave us both a very pointed, parental look as we both blushed and separated slightly.

"I'm Emmett Swan, brother of the bride and best man in case you didn't know me." People laughed. Everyone knew Emmett; he made his presence known. He cleared his throat again and played around with the antlers still on his head. "So I've known these two since the day they were born and as the oldest of the bunch I taught them a lot of things. For example, Eddie boy here came to me instead of Carlisle when he wanted to learn how to use condoms at the grand old age of nineteen. I guess I should have taught him better, eh?"

He paused here to allow ample time for everyone to see us blush. Edward leaned over to me again.

"Well I'm going to hit him with a shovel as soon as this is over. Do you think anyone well notice?" I giggled.

"Not likely. But I'll help dig the hole."

"Ha, thanks Bonnie." I winked dramatically at him.

"No problem Clyde." **(In case any of you don't know, Bonnie and Clyde were a famous bank robbing couple in America in the 1930s.)**

Emmett continued with his embarassing speech. "And Baby Bell learned to not listen to a word I say. Especially when it comes to driving." I blushed remembering the memory well.

"Em, you told me cars could drive through lakes, you git!" He laughed.

"See? But despite these two being my prime targets in my pranks, I love you two and I wish you all the luck with everything. Just don't mess things up again, Eddie, or I'll make true on my promise."

Edward solemnly nodded his head. "I wouldn't ever dream of it, Em. I love her too much."

Emmett stood there for a few moments with tears in his eyes and just looked at us. He broke the tender moment by raising his glass and booming, "To the bride and groom."

He came over to hug us both as the next person went to the mic. It was Esme.

"We would like Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen to please come to the dancefloor for their first dance."

Edward took my hand and led us to the dancefloor as the music started. It was Whoever She Is by The Maine.

I laughed. "You picked this one too, didn't you?"

He dipped me. "Of course, I did. You don't have to worry about anyone else in my life. I only want you."

We swayed back and forth according to Edward's direction and I rested my head on his chest as he pulled me as tight to him as possible with EJ dancing with us.

It was Edward's turn to laugh. "Do you feel like something's between us?"

I leaned even more into him and focused on the lyrics at the end of our song.

_She could be money, cars, fear of the dark,_

_Your best friends are just strangers in bars,_

_Where ever she is, who ever she may be,_

_One things for sure,_

_You don't have to worry._

_She could be rainy days, minimum wage,_

_A book that ends with no last page._

_Who ever she is, who ever she may be._

_One thing's for sure,_

_You don't have to worry._

As the song ended, Edward brought me in for yet another earth-shattering kiss. Everyone clapped as we resumed our seats as Alice stood up to make her speech.

"Hey, I'm Alice Whitlock, matron of honor and I don't what else I can say to these two except that I love them oodles and wish them the best as they let me decorate the baby's room, right?"

I nodded. Alice squealed as she hugged me and Edward at the same time. Esme stood up again and announced the song I wanted to dance to with Edward to. It was called 6 Months by Hey Monday and I thought it perfectly described my feelings for Edward.

We swayed around to the beat again but this time we stared into each eyes. I could never have enough time to find all the shades of green in his eyes. Once again I listened to lyrics as we danced.

_You're the direction I follow to get home._

_When I feel like I can't go on , you tell me to go_

_And it's like I can't feel a thing,_

_Without you around_

_And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees_

_'Cause you have that effect on me, you do._

_Everything you say, _

_Everytime we kiss,_

_I can't think straight,_

_But I'm okay_

_And I can't think of anybody else_

_I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you._

_Months going strong now,_

_And no goodbye._

_Unconditional, unoriginal,_

_Always by my side._

_Meant to be together,_

_Meant for no one but each other._

_You love me, I love you harder._

_So..._

_Everything you say, _

_Everytime we kiss, _

_I can't think straight._

_But I'm okay_

_And I can't think of anybody else _

_Who I hate to miss as much as I hate as missing you._

_So, please, give me a hint,_

_So, please, give me a lesson on how to steal,_

_Steal a heart,_

_As fast as you stole mine,_

_As you stole mine, yeah._

_Oh, everything you say,_

_Everytime we kiss,_

_I can't think straight,_

_But I'm okay,_

_And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you._

_So, please, give me a hint._

_So, please, just take my hand._

Edward leaned in and whispered, "Thank you."

"No problem." We kissed again and he left to follow the boys to some location.

"I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Uh...OK?"

I went back to my seat and five minutes later, Say Anything's song, Wow I Can Get Sexual, Too! started to play. The boys jumped back into the room and immediately peals of laughter rang through the ballroom. Edward was dressed as a girl in a tight pink dress and high heels with a blonde wig, Emmett was wearing the same thing as before (which puzzled me to no end), and Jasper was dressed as a lawyer I suppose. They were all dancing the Single Ladies dance as Emmett sang the lyrics.

Eventually, Emmett was singing the part about the girl's underwear as Edward and Jasper were dancing.

_At this rate,_

_I'll be heading for electric chairs._

_I'm only human with my cross to bear._

_When she described her underwear,_

Emmett now took his pants off and shimmied his ass around as he sang.

_I forgot all the rules_

_My rabbi taught me in the old school._

_You're too young to be this empty girl._

_But, it'll prepare you for this sick, dark world._

_Know that you will be my downfall _

_But I call and I call and I call._

Emmett summoned Edward to come behind my table, right in front of me, and give me a lap dance while he ran his hands all over his body. Emmett and Jasper were still doing the Single Ladies and I couldn't help myself as I whooped.

"Take it all off, baby!" Edward blushed and danced back to the boys and resumed the Single Ladies. Unfortunately for Edward, his tight dress ripped in the back to reveal my new husband's obsenely pale ass. Everyone roared with laughter as Edward ran out of the room telling Emmett he could've worn his boxers at least.

Emmett replied by saying, "But you would have had a panty line!", as they left the room. We all kept laughing for at least another ten minutes straight and I was convinced that all of this laughter might send me into early labor. They finally returned and Edward resumed his seat next to me, blushing.

"I hate your brother." He crossed his arms and huffed like a little boy.

"I know."

Rose gave me the cue and I left to get dressed for the last song of the night before we left for our honeymoon. We dressed quickly and ran out as See You Again by Breathe Carolina started. I grabbed my mic, pushed back my Hannah Montana hair as Rose and Alice danced like the N*Sync boys behind me. I stood in front of Edward the entire time I sang. Finally I reached the end of the song.

_The next time we hang out,  
I will redeem myself,_

_My heart can rest til then,_

_Whoa, whoa! I,_

_I can't wait to see you again,_

_Whoa, Whoa, I,_

_I can't wait to see you again._

After that the party wrapped up and Alice dragged me upstairs to change me into a blue sweater dress and knee-high fur-lined boots. When I came back downstairs, Edward wrapped me in his arms and whispered to me.

"Down and to the left, here's the map and the pen and the place you pointed out. Be California's best, that's all I ask, all I ask. Please don't tell me that I'm dreaming when all I wanted was to dream another sunset with you." I grinned.

"Don't you float away, Edward."

Our family and guests all hugged us before we left, including my good friends, Jacob and Leah Black. We jumped into the back of the Mercedes and our driver drove us somewhere, where it was I had no clue as Fall Out Boy played in the background.

_Me & you,_

_Setting in a honeymoon,_

_If I woke up next to you,_

_If I woke up next to you._

The car lurched to a stop too soon for my expectations and Edward helped me out for me to see the meadow again.

"The meadow, Edward? There isn't any house around here."

He rubbed my hand. "There is now, this is my wedding present to you. I found a little grove next to the meadow and Emmett, Mom, and I built a cottage here for us to escape to whenever we want to."

I suddenly found myself in tears. Edward panicked as he wiped the tears away.

"What? Don't you like it? I'll do something else..." I silenced him with my fingers on his lips.

"I just can't believe my man is so thoughtful and thorough."

He waggled his eyebrows at me. "I'm nothing if not thorough." He carried me to the threshold and whispered, "This is the night we've been waiting for all our lives."

He carried me inside and the place was decorated in cherry-finish wood and elegant armchairs and books everywhere. It was definitely a place where I could be comfortable for sure. He carried me into the bedroom which had more of a beach theme. He laid me on the bed and I felt my heartbeat increasing. I don't know why. I had definitely done this before with Edward. He went to a corner and grabbed his guitar.

"I, um, wrote a song for you and the baby. I thought it could be his lullaby when he's born." He put his palm on my stomach to feel his son kick me again. The smile he wore whenever EJ kicked us never wore down and never ceased to amaze me. He started playing his guitar and then began to sing.

_Honey is for bees silly bear_

_Besides there's jellybeans everywhere_

_It's not what it seems in the land of dreams._

_Don't worry your head, just go to sleep._

_It doesn't matter how you feel._

_Life is just a Ferris wheel,_

_It's always up & down, don't make a sound._

_When you wake up the world will come around,_

_When you wake up the world will come around._

_It's just the sweet weather _

_And the peacock feathers,_

_In the morning it will all be better._

_It's not what it seems in the land of dreams,_

_Don't worry your head, just go to sleep._

_When you wake up the world will come around,_

_When you wake up the world will come around._

_Honey is for bees, silly bear,_

_Besides there's jellybeans everywhere._

_It's not what it seems in the land of dreams,_

_Don't worry your head, just go to sleep._

As he finished playing, I lunged at him and immediately took his lip into my mouth and sucked on it. His eyes opened wide and he began to kiss me back fiercely. He laid me back on the bed and then the heaven I would know for the rest of my life began.

**Well here is the wedding playlist. I got the CD idea from my friend who made memorial CDs for her mother who died this past June. I figured I'd use the idea in a more happy way. (I own nothing of course, other than Revieward) This chapter took a long time to write so please review and make my Revieward happy. :)**

**1. Bubbly- Colbie Callat (The song Bella wakes up to)**

**2. It Had To Be You- Motion City Soundtrack (Bella's song on the radio)**

**3. It Won't Be Long- The Beatles (silly time at the spa)**

**4. Hold Me Tight- The Beatles (silly time at the spa)**

**5. Just Like Heaven (The Cure Cover)- Taking Back Sunday (Chorus is what the bridemaids walk to)**

**6. Never Think- Rob Pattinson (Bella walking down the aisle)**

**7. Awake- Secondhand Serenade (Song Esme sings for them)**

**8. Shesgotstyle- Nevershoutnever (Song Edward sings for his vows)**

**9. All I Want Is You- Juno Soundtrack for entering the reception. :)**

**10. Whoever She Is- The Maine (Edward's song for Bella)**

**11. 6 Months- Hey Monday (Bella's song for Edward)**

**12. Wow, I Can Get Sexual, Too!- Say Anything (The boys' song for the girls)**

**13. See You Again- Breathe Carolina (Girls' song for the boys)**

**14. Jamie All Over- Mayday Parade (Song Edward whispers to her as they leave for the honeymoon)**

**15. Island- The Starting Line (Honeymoon song #1)**

**16. I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)- Fall Out Boy (Honeymoon song #2)**

**17. Bedroom Talk- The Starting Line (Honeymoon song #3)**

**18. Lullabye- Fall Out Boy (EJ & Bella's Lullaby)**


	12. The Ballad Of Big Poppa & Diamond Girl

**My new friends, Revieward & Reviewpattz, would like to officially thank all the people who reviewed for them. :) I do work really hard to get these chapters out and it really makes my day when someone sends me a nice review. **

**While I was working on this, I watched How To Be and got to hear RPattz (who I've lovingly nicknamed Big Poppa because I'm Diamond Girl) say he had an erection--life goal completed. LOL. I would also like shamelessly pimp out some stories:**

**The Boy in The Red Sweater by Starrynytex. Her Sweater Boy is so yummy and nerdy and reminds me so much of Art in How To Be. :) I want one for myself.**

**Good Bye My Friend by Futureauthor62. Not only is she my best friend, she also is an excellent writer. (Far better than I actually) This is a memorial story for her cousin who died as a result of a drunk driver. I lived through this story and the emotion of it all still gets me sometimes. It would mean a lot to both of us if it got reviews because it's a story that unfortunately hits a little too close to home.**

**Sorry for the long AN. :(**

Dawn came slowly, the purplish beams of light danced through our little love nest as Edward's deep and shallow breaths kept the count for me. Last night was more than I had ever expected. Every emotion he had ever felt for me was poured out into his enthusiastic lovemaking and I felt my heart fill and burst with the love I felt for him.

I managed to turn myself in his protective arms so I could gaze upon his sleeping form. The angelic yet tempting features of his body had not changed from those nights in high school and college that I climbed into his bed. I sighed as I remembered one night in particular three weeks before graduation at college.

_At the last midnight hour all that was heard of my dorm's floor was the gentle creaking of the door as I opened it. If someone, by some random chance, was looking out their door all they would see would be one long-haired brunette twist her head in both directions to make sure the coast was clear and then dash across the co-ed dorm hallway and quickly disappear into Edward Cullen's room._

_I was deluding myself to be honest. I had come into his room at least weekly for the last few years to sleep with him in his bed under the pretense of nightmares. I hadn't had a nightmare since sixth grade when Edward made me watch Silence Of The Lambs but I went to be wrapped in his arms and feel almost like he loved me as more than a friend._

_I crept silently to his bed and curled myself into his slumbering form. _

_"Bella", he rumbled in a voice full of sleep. I turned to his drowsy green eyes. I blushed and lowered my head. He wasn't supposed to wake up. I didn't want him to have his sleep disturbed._

_  
"Sorry, Edward. I had another nightmare." He wrapped himself into me and I could smell the lilac laundry detergent he used in his crisp white T-shirt. Holy shit, he smells like heaven._

_"No need to be sorry, love. What was this one about?" I blushed again. If I did have a nightmare, it would be the one I'm telling I had. So technically I wasn't lying. At least that's what I told myself to ease away the guilt._

_"I dreamed that we were married and you left me for a blond girl." He held me tighter. Eventually he moved me from his shoulder._

_"Married, eh? If I were to marry any girl, I bet it would be you." I could feel my heart glowing with this new information. He could marry me, well then he loved me, right?_

_He flipped over onto his back and put his hands behind his head. I instinctively curled into his side. We lay there in silence as Edward's brow furrowed in deep thought._

_"Beautiful," I winced slightly. He knew how much I hated the Italian translation of my name. He laughed. "How was it to be in love with Jake?" It was my turn for my eyebrows to come together in confusion._

_"Love? I don't think I was really in love with him at all, Edward." He frowned._

_"What do you think it's like then, Bella?" A great internal debate took place slowly within me. Should I tell him I'm in love with him?_

_"I think it's when you get this odd sort of purpose in life whenever you're around the person and every time you kiss it makes you feel like a little boy at Christmas. Every time you hold one another, you feel like you're right at home, that you're so comfortable with someone else that they feel like a second skin. When you're in love, you can imagine having babies with that person and growing old. That's love."_

_He pondered my words, drank them in slowly like a fine cabaret. "Could you see yourself having babies with me?" _

_I punched his shoulder lightly to distract him from the seriousness of the situation. I wasn't going to betray my feelings to him yet._

_"I dunno Cullen, could you stop being a dork for two seconds? What would you even name your kids if I had them?" _

_  
He thought seriously about it. "I want a daughter named Delilah Marie, after you and my most favorite cousin, with brown hair and little bronze highlights and bright hazel eyes."_

_I sat there silently. What could I really say to him? I knew that Edward was becoming an OB/GYN just to deliver babies. He absolutely adored kids and couldn't wait to have one but I, on the other hand, loved kids but wasn't sure yet if I really wanted one at all._

_"Why would she look like that Edward?" He looked very seriously into my eyes._

_"Because she would look like her mother." The moment had suddenly gotten too awkward for me. While I was desperately in love with the boy, I wasn't ready to even think about kids._

_I wiped under my eyes, feigning drowsiness. He pulled me into his torso and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. The last words I heard before completely falling off the cliff into a dreamless sleep was "I love you". _

_For the next three weeks of school I made myself pretend it was my imagination as I fell asleep but two weeks after graduation we nearly kissed as Alice took pictures of us on her couch. Two weeks after that though, he met Tayna. _

_I had ruined my own chances._

I sighed, ruminating over time lost as Edward's dreamy eyes opened, still blurred with the weight of sleep.

"What's a matter, love?" I pulled my naked body closer to his.

"I was just remembering that night we talked about children in college." He did this odd smile/frown thing with his face.

"I remember that night, too." He spoke in a small voice I had only heard a few times in my life. "How did you not know I was in love with you then, Bella?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I was so used to you ignoring my flirting that I only feebly continued onward with the chase and I refused to believe that a god like you would ever fall in love with me. Don't I know better now?"

"I really regret giving up on you, Bella, when Tayna came around. I was just tired of you not noticing what I was doing." I sniffled. "You know she was cheating me from the start? Then I freak out on you when I do the same. I really want to apologize for that."

I burst out into silent tears running down my face. "You have no clue how much that hurt me, Edward. I laid in bed for weeks after that just wondering how the hell my best friend could just use me like that."

"I was so upset too, Bella. Every time I saw you, you had tear trails down your face and then the bump started coming in....I've been so immature and clueless when it comes to you." At this point, he was crying too.

We had never talked about this part of our lives before. When I took him back, I took him back without question, though he did terrible things, because I needed him. An irrational need for sure, but a need all the same. Edward continued talking.

"Then you left and I just couldn't function. I never really realized how much I loved and needed you until then. When I found you, what did I do? I nearly raped you, Bella. I know you might be able to forgive me. But I can never forgive myself." He had sat up, out of my embrace, moved to the corner of the bed and hunched himself over his knees as he cried.

I scooted over to him and wrapped my arms around him as he cried. Suddenly he leapt up from the bed.

"Why are you comforting me? I've done despicable things to you in our past. I don't deserve you at all." I stood up too and walked over to him until I was right in his face. We were both crying still.

"Edward, yes, you have hurt me so badly in the past that I wished you nothing but the same torture you inflicted upon me. But some part of me understands your thoughts, Edward. I know you never meant to hurt me, I know you never wanted me to suffer. Anything that you've done bad was really just because you were so confused and you let your emotions take charge. I shouldn't have sneaked around and hid this all from you.

You've wanted a child since you were one. Don't you see how cruel it was of me to hide that from you now, Edward? We've both forgiven each other for everything we'e done and now we're married and we're strong and all the shit we went through was all just so I could get to you. Don't you see? I still love you more than any fucking body and nothing can even change my heart now, not my parents, not fate, not anything. My heart is as true as steel."

He collapsed into my arms and I held him as he cried. We may have stood there forever, I don't know, but that time with Edward was precious. Sure, I was upset that we have had a mini fight on our honeymoon but we finally got our feelings worked through and we could live happily now without guilt plaguing our marriage.

He picked me up and placed me on our began kissing me passionately yet slowly, like he was savoring the very taste of my lips. He broke our kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. He was panting almost as heavily as I was. I saw how the tendons in his forearms trembled slightly as he held his weight up over my enormous belly. _Sexy. _**(I realized that she was four months pregnant in September (oops) so now I've changed it back to what it's supposed to be, seven, almost eight months pregnant.)**

"Bella, I'm gonna show you just how much I love you." He dove back in without waiting for a response. He quickly yet sensually undressed us both. Edward took his time with me, exploring every inch of skin and I was just pleased to get my fill of Edward.

Afterwards, we curled into each other's sweaty bodies and I realized that I may just have to get into little fights with Edward more often to get sex like this. Edward looked at me with such love in his eyes and I knew I never could deny him anything and I could never stay mad at him. It was only in my nature.

"So was that better than anything Rob or Jacob or Jackson could do?" I pushed his shoulder lightly as he grinned.

"You know I never slept with them and personally I think you're mind-blowing in bed." His chest puffed out a little in pride. I rolled my eyes. Of course, Edward would have to be such a....man right now.

"Bella, I really hated all of them. Especially Rob with his stupid greasy hobo hair. Isn't he some famous actor now?" I nodded my head.

"Where have you been, Edward? Little Ashes? How To Be? Harry Potter number 4? Tsk. Tsk. We're so watching one of his movies tonight." He crossed his arms and pouted like a small child. Visions of him in our childhood doing the same to his mother flew through my head.

"I don't want to watch that stupid British guy, Bella, I hate him." I rolled my eyes again. Rob was actually a really nice guy but of course, Edward had to be difficult about it.

"Fine, just so you don't feel bad, we won't watch the sex scene one, we'll watch How To Be, OK?" Edward's eyes opened wide.

"Sex scene one?" His eyes now narrowed. "I don't like the idea of my wife watching her ex-boyfriend in a sex scene."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Oh please, Edward, it's not like you have to look at his penis or anything. The worst it gets is his pubes. Jeez."

He now smirked. "Well, Baby Bell, if it's pubes you want to see, I'll let you stare at mine...", he trailed off suggestively while waggling his eyebrows. I snuggled into him even closer. Suddenly the door for our bedroom opened and Edward quickly covered us up with the sheet.

I was surprised when the intruder was my own Poppa Swan. Charlie looked away as his face turned this pretty puce color.

"Um....Baby Bell, sorry...I didn't think you'd be...you know...since you're so...well you know....", he stuttered out. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me do it. Firstly, he didn't even come to the wedding. Secondly, it's my honeymoon, of course I'm having sex with my husband. It's a perfectly normal thing. Apparently that is how babies are made if I recall correctly.

Edward threw some clothes at me and we both quickly dressed and walked over to Charlie.

"Sorry Bells", he said sheepishly, "Alice told me you would be here. I just wanted to talk to you....alone." Edward got the hint.

"Mister Swan, there's a nice quiet path outside. Bells, I'll get dinner and your movie ready, OK?" He kissed me but not as passionately as he normally would. He was still afraid of the badge I guess.

I slipped on a pair of boots and led the way down the path to the meadow. Charlie stumbled along even more awkwardly than I did with his hands in his pockets, his eyes directed downward, and his face still red from the embarrassment of catching your fully grown daughter about to have sex with her husband.

"Bells, I first wanted to say sorry. For everything. I've already told you that Renee thought you were a mistake and her insistence that we hate you has kept me from being the father I should have been to you. Damnit, I should have been the one to walk you down that aisle yesterday! You know, not Emmett. But your mom is so full of hate for you and I've never understood it. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and loving girl and I think your mother is so jealous that you've become a better person than her even though she tried to make you as miserable as her.

I've been a coward to just listen to Renee and not love you like I should have for all these years. Yesterday when she forbade me from going to my own daughter's wedding, something in me just snapped and I realized enough is enough. We've getting divorced, Bella. I won't let her treat you like this anymore. I want to be here for you, Edward, his whole family, and especially this little one here."

He rubbed my stomach at the end of his speech with tears glistening in his eyes.

"It's a boy." His eyes widened. A fishing buddy for Charlie I guess.

"Really? Did you guys already pick out a name?" I nodded.

"Edward Carlisle."

"Carlisle and Esme must be so proud. They're good people, the Cullens, I'm glad you're one now."

"Hey dad, if you're divorcing Renee, where are you staying? You can come live with me and Edward and help with the baby if you want." He laughed.

"My Baby Bell, always helping people even when they don't deserve it. Actually when I was over at the Cullen's, Esme offered me a room there and I'm going to take them up on it. Besides, if I lived with you and Edward, I wouldn't be able to avoid scenes like that one."

We both laughed. Our walk had led us along the perimeter of the meadow all the way to the opening where the beaten path of the aisle was still visible.

"Dad, you said you wished you had been the one to walk me down the aisle. You know you still can." I offered my arm out to him and tears dotted his cheeks.

"I'd consider it an honor." My dad took my arm and we walked slowly down the path without music, without guests, without my husband. It was just me and Dad, making things better the only way we knew how: in our actions. He reached the end of the path.

"Who here gives this woman to this man?", I whispered gently.

"I, Charles Swan, do. I love you, Baby Bell."

"I love you more, Poppa Bear."

We headed off to the cottage now.

"Merry Christmas, Dad." He laughed.

"Merry Christmas, Bell. Speaking of Christmas, why aren't there any presents here or at the Cullen compound and why aren't you guys there for Christmas dinner? Just wondering."

I giggled. "This year, we all decided that we were just happy with what we've got. Especially after what happened between Edward and I, we all realized that we needed to just celebrate our love for one another without gifts. Secondly, I really don't think we'd be good guests during our honeymoon so they kindly uninvited us from Christmas."

We reached the door and I said, "Well this is my stop. Don't be a stranger, Dad. I love you."

He gave me as tight of a hug as he could, given my present condition. "I love you too, Baby Bell", he said in a gruff voice. He walked back to where his car was as I dashed inside of the cottage. Edward was at the stove naked, cooking. My jaw dropped at the gorgeous being that is Edward Cullen and at his audacity to actually cook in the nude.

He glanced over at me and grinned.

"Well, hello gorgeous. How was the talk with Charlie?" I hung up my coat and shrugged off my boots.

"Actually surprisingly well. He's divorcing Renee, everything is going to be great now." His grin was as big as my own.

"That's fantastic, love!" I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his muscular, sweaty shoulders and started massaging the kinks out of them. He moaned in pleasure.

"You know, babe, I don't think it's fair that I'm the only one that's naked. To make it even, you should probably strip too." I slapped his shoulder lightly.

"You pervert, you really do have a one-track mind." He turned away from the stove to face me. He waggled his eyebrows yet again.

"I'm on my honeymoon, baby, can you blame me?" He gave me those damned Cullen puppy eyes and I striped. Like I said before, I could never deny this man anything.

He stared at my breasts for an obscenely long time. I cleared my throat and he snapped out of it. He quickly finished the meal even with me stealing kisses from him. Can you blame me?

He had me sit half on his lap and half off in the little kitchen nook he had built. Dinner was a silent affair as usual but every once and a while we would both break out in giggles from the memory of Poppa Swan charging in on Edward 'defiling' his little girl. Sometimes I wondered if we weren't really twenty-five but still the immature seventeen year olds we were.

He insisted on cleaning up after dinner and I went to relax in the living room by the fire Edward had started here. I was surprised that the library in here was already stocked with Edward and I's favorites. I picked up the play, En La Ardiente Oscuridad and began reading. **(We read this in my AP Spanish class this year and it is fantastic if you can read the language. I love it. It's by Antonio Buero Vallejo. Ironically enough I also own a collection of poems by Federico Garcia Lorca. LOL.)**

Soon enough Edward was finished with the dishes and came into the living room. He picked me up bridal style and laid me gently on the bed as he pushed play on the DVD player.

He joined me on the bed. He sat himself at the headboard and pulled me onto his lap. At first, Edward scoffed at Rob's acting. But then the scene where Art's friend is trying to get him to sleep with a woman came on.

Art's friend was rubbing up against a girl on his couch as she handed him a drunk and suddenly said, "You're turning me on, you're turning me on. Art, say something."

Art then said, "I've- I've got an erection." Edward roared with laughter from behind me. **(That was for Starrynytex, who shares a love of Rob announcing his erections like I do. LOL.)**

"Wow, Rob is a good actor after all." I nudged his ribs.

"Of course he is."

"Can I meet him?", Edward squealed that out like a little fan girl. I had dated Rob when he was oh-so obsessed with Tayna and therefore, never met him.

"Yeah. Actually, he's flying over after EJ's born to see the little squirt."

Edward gave me a big hug and we finished the movie. I yawned and he got up to turn the television off. He climbed back in bed and massaged my scalp with his fingernails.

"Oh, Edward, that feels so good." He chuckled.

"I hope so. Diamond Girl, I hate to say it but we shouldn't have any nookie tonight. You've had a tiring day and we both need our rest."

"OK, Big Poppa, but your son's a little pissed that Daddy didn't talk to him yet today." Edward's eyes got really wide.

"Oh shi--sugar. Sorry bud." He crawled down from our spoon to get face-to-belly with EJ.

"Little man, I heard that Poppa Swan talked to you today. I'm so glad that you get both of your grandfathers. I know we're all going to be so happy when we finally get to meet you in about a month. Some people when you're older will try to bring you down and say that your parents hated each other and only got together because your mum got pregnant but that's not the case. We love each other and we love you more than anything. That's all I got for tonight, bud. Night."

He kissed my belly and crawled up my body to kiss me goodnight too.

"Night, Diamond Girl. I love you more than my own life."

"Ditto, Big Poppa. I love you."

As I wandered off into a dreamland, I wondered how much longer my days could keep getting better and better.

_"Diamond Girl, I wanna wrap you around the world, I'll never let you touch the ground, I'll be your Biggie, you'll be my Lil Kim."_

_-Ballad Of Big Poppa & Diamond Girl by Cobra Starship._

**My nickname has always been Diamond Girl because when I was little, I wore fake diamonds everywhere I went. Now you can see why I'd like to call Reviewpattz my Big Poppa. :)**

**Songs:**

**Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most- Dance Gavin Dance**

**I Want To Save You- Something Corporate**

**Now That We're Done- Metro Station**

**Stop & Stare- One Republic**

**The Ballad of Big Poppa and Diamond Girl- Cobra Starship**


	13. Northern Downpour

**Once again, me and my writing cohorts, Revieward (RW) and Reviewpattz (RP), are pretty happy that people like this. :) In fact I even asked them about it and here's what they told me (DG).**

**RP: I love when you get reviews, it's wickedly better than beating Harry Potter at Quidditch. **

**DG: Really, that good? Is anything else that good?**

**RP: *waggles eyebrows* Well I can think of a thing or two.....**

**DG: *blushes* Wow. Hmmm....*rubs at neck* Revieward, do you have anything you'd like to say?**

**RW: I hate how RP steals all the attention. He wouldn't be here without me.**

**DG: True, true. Um, boys, forgetting to do something, are you?**

**RP & RW: NO! We're not doing that!**

**DG: *pouts* You promised me you'd do this for the reviewers!**

**RP: Fine. *takes shirt off, DG almost faints* Go on, you git, get your shirt off too.**

**RW: *scowls at RP* Asshat. *takes shirt off* Happy, DG? **

**DG: *speaks softly* Very. Thanks boys. You guys are the best review gods a girl could ask for.**

**RP: Thanks, love, but aren't you forgetting something yourself?**

DG: *dazzled that RP called her 'love'* Oh, yeah, I'm going to Pennsylvania to see my fam for two weeks. But I'm writing a billion chapters and handing them off to my best friend to post.

**Nice convo, right? LOL. I'm sorry it's short. But I've been busting my ass off trying to write in the past two weeks. I don't own Twilight, what I own is a cruddy desktop that I'm surprised actually lets me write chapters, a picture of Mike Gentile and I, Fall Out Boy short shorts, and a wickedly cool CD mobile. On with the show.**

It had been about a week after my honeymoon had ended and I was beginning to just want this baby out of me. My back was constantly killing me but I took it in stride, knowing that in little under a month I would meet my little Edward Carlisle.

The boredom of being home, unable to work until the baby and I fell into a schedule, was killing me. I spent my days with Esme while the Drs Cullen worked at Seattle Grace Hospital. Esme and I spent this particular afternoon sitting in the front room drinking peach juice and ginger ale. She kept checking the clock and finally she sighed and turned to me.

"Bella, do you want to go see Edward and Carlisle with me? I mean Thursday afternoons I usually go visit the terminally ill patients and I would like you to go with me."

I nodded emphatically. We both grabbed our coats and Esme led the way to her own Mercedes. She looked over at my enormous belly and grinned as I sat uncomfortably.

"Can't wait to gethim out and see him and hold him, can you?" I laughed.

"You have no clue, Mom, this little bugger is kicking the crap out of me now because he knows we're going to go see Daddy." Her eyes crinkled at the edges with the intensity of her smile.

"You and Edward are going to make great parents. We all know it. Did you guys already finish EJ's room?" I nodded.

"It's a music theme. Edward even got a new piano and put it in there so he could play our lullaby in there." Esme awed.

"Do you two need anything else for him?" I glared at my mother-in-law.

"Now, Mom, we've been through all this before. I didn't want a bridal shower and I certainly don't want a baby shower. Edward and I have enough to pay for anything we need. I just can't wait to feel useful again by making money."

"Oh,sweetie, you are useful. You bring so much light into Edward's and all of our lives. Don't feel guilty about not working, you're pregnant. You have a baby to take care of now."

We had reached the hospital at this point and Esme and I grabbed the pastries and cookies we had made earlier from the back seat of the car. I now understood why we made them.

We approached the front desk and everyone in the lobby stared at us. We were Cullens. Everyone dropped anything they were doing to watch a Cullen. I blushed and moved closer to my mom.

She patted my hand. "You're a Cullen now, Bella. You'll be getting stares all your life."

We didn't even have to ask the receptionist where the Cullen boys were; she flat out told us.

"Mrs. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen," she started before Esme and I both spoke.

"Don't call me Mrs. Cullen, it makes me sound old." We giggled and the receptionist continued.

"They're in his office."

"Thanks Martha." Esme led the way to the elevator and in record time we made it to Carlisle's office. Esme opened the door to reveal our two boys in deep conversation about something. When they noticed we were there, their faces lit up like it finally stopped raining here long enough to appreciate the sun. Edward crossed the room in two quick strides and immediately latched his lips to mine without a greeting.

I couldn't help but react to Edward's desperate kiss. When he stopped he just stared at me sadly. I took a long look at my husband. From working all these long hours for the baby, he had deep purple bags under his eyes and he also had these hauntingly empty green eyes that were merely a shell of what they usually were. I had only seen Edward this down when Carlisle's father died.

I stroked his cheek and he led me outside. He understood my need to comfort my hurting husband without me even nedding to ask him. He led me to the childhood cancer department. I was puzzled. Edward worked with pregnant women before labor and during it, what did that have to do with this? He took a deep breath and started his story.

"They had a shortage of doctors today due to illness and the oncology department was short-staffed and this girl really needed to be looked over. So Dad put me on her case because he knew I had picked that as a focus before I switched", he explained quietly. In between rooms in this ward there were brightly colored mini-sofas, Edward collapsed onto one and I took my place at his side.

"Her name is Ellie, she's eight, her mom died from cancer too. She has two sisters, one older and one younger", he paused and stared at the wall as he thought about her sisters. "Bella, she has an inoperable kind of bone cancer, she only has about two months to live", he finished in a broken voice. My eyes welled up with tears and my husband threw himself onto my shoulder and cried. I held him in my arms as he cried and I raked my fingers through his bronze baby hair.

"Bella, she's going to die and there's nothing I can do to make this any easier for her family. Her older sister, Sarah, and her father, Pete know how much longer she has left but they didn't tell her or Hannah, her younger sister. I just feel like I've failed as a doctor." I put my hands under his chin to make him look into my eyes.

"Edward, listen to me, you've never failed as a doctor. In fact, with this case, she could have died unexpectedly without giving her family any closure, but you can give them some time left with her. That is probably the best thing you can do for them at this time. You also can help keep her as happy and healthy as possible to make things easier. I'll help you. You don't have to be a rock around me all the time. I like to know I didn't marry a robot sometimes."

He laughed quietly. "Would you like to meet her?"

I nodded. He took my arm and led me to a private room. Inside lay a small, dark-haired girl with bright brown eyes and black square glasses framing her face. She was such a pretty girl and my heart broke knowing she would never have her first kiss, dance with a boy at Prom, graduate high school, go to college, get married, and I almost cried again when I realized she would never feel the miracle of a child kicking you from inside of you.

Right next to her was her father, a grayish haired, tall man. He held her hand as her sisters tried to make jokes and small talk with her without breaking down into tears. On her other side were her sisters. Sarah, the older one, had long blond hair with dark brown roots underneath it. She had her sister's eyes and she showed very little emotion on her face. I could tell it was to keep her sister's spirits up and probably because she just wasn't able to deal with the fact that her sister wouldn't live to be nine. Hannah, the youngest, was the exact replica of Ellie and looked like she really couldn't understand why her sister was going to die.

Edward and I stood outside of the room quietly as the family said their goodbyes for now and headed off to get some food and shower at home. Edward told me it would be no good for Ellie to her family suffering so. We entered the room after they walked out and Ellie's small face lit up with the excitement of youth. Edward made introductions for us.

"Hello my favorite patient," he tickled her ribs and she squealed, "this is my wife, Bella. Bella, this is Ellie." The little frail girl in the bed smiled.

"Hi, Bella!", she exclaimed brightly. She didn't even look sick, she was so full of life. I said hello back and her little eyes grew huge at the sight of my equally huge belly. "Bella, are you having a baby?"

I smiled like I did every time our little boy was brought up. "Yes, Edward and I are waiting for our little one to show up." Edward wrapped his arms around me and rested his head in the crook of my shoulder. I knew how hard this was for him to see a person he couldn't save but it was hard for me too. I couldn't imagine bringing our son into the world only to have him leave before his father and I.

Ellie tilted her head the side. Her little mannerisms already had my heart wrapped her delicate fingers. "How many babies are in there, Dr. Edward?"

He laughed. "Only one." She tilted her head even farther to the side.

"Nuh uh. It looks big enough for two babies!" I sat down on her bed and Edward sat behind me as he clasped my hand.

"So Ellie, tell me about yourself."

"Ooh, I love horses, reading, coloring, my dolls, playing with my sisters...", she paused as she thought of more things she liked. Her energy could only be rivaled by Alice and I could feel my sadness coming in like waves. One minute, I was so happy because she was such a great little person and then the sadness would creep back in like a noxious fog to remind me all too soon, it would be gone.

"When I grow up I wanna be a teacher. Dr. Edward is a doctor but what about you, Bella?"

"I'm a teacher." She gasped.

"No way! That is too cool." We just kept talking like that back and forth. Every once and a while when Edward felt he could, he would jump into the conversation. We stayed there for hours and when she asked me to sing a song I did.

"If all of life is but a dream, fantastic posing greed, then we should feed our jewelry to the sea. For diamonds do appear to be just like broken glass to me. And then she said she can't believe that genius only comes along in forms of fabled foreign eyes and flooded lungs, northern downpour sends its love. Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you go down. Sugarcane in the easy morning, weathervanes, my one and lonely..."

When I finished singing, she wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "I loved that song. Will you sing to me again when you come back tomorrow?"

"Of course, Ellie." We got off the bed as the nurse came in the room and announced the family was coming back up. We waved goodbye and headed out of the door before Ellie said, "I love you, Bella. I love you, Edward."

Tears reformed in both our eyes as we whispered, "I love you too". We returned to Carlisle's office where his parents were waiting for us. With one look at us, they understood that we were tired but feeling better now that we talked to each other and to Ellie. Esme stood up from her seat beside Carlisle and walked to me.

"Bella, are you ready to go home now?" I was about to pipe in and say no but Edward beat me to the punch. He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Actually, Mum, I was thinking I'd drive Bella home. I'm off now and we need some alone time right now." Esme narrowed her eyes at her son.

"I know what your idea of alone time is Edward. She needs her rest, she does not need you sending her into early labor just because you want to jump her bod." We both flushed red.

"Mother! I wasn't even thinking that!" She whacked him upside the head. He whined in pain.

"Don't lie to me, Edward Anthony Cullen! You know Charles Swan told us what happened Christmas Eve. You're even on top of her while she's this pregnant! I raised a pervert!" Edward scoffed at his mother.

"Oh please actually we both like it a lot. Bella is excellent in...chair, bed, counter....you name it. Now can we stop talking about our sex life, eh?" She nodded.

"I only want the best for you two. But I mean you've been humping her enough to knock her up twice." I blanched. I never knew the sweet, motherly lady I knew and loved could be this raunchy and crude. I guess this is what Carlisle gets in bed. OK, wipe disturbing mental image out of your head, Bella.

Edward ignored his mother's comments and we left but on the way I wondered if Esme could be right. No, it was impossible I thought as I fell asleep in Edward's purring, silver Volvo.

**So I was eating ramen for lunch when I realized that I haven't much angst lately. So blame it on the ramen for the saddish chapter. Ellie is---well was a real person. A teacher at the elementary school where I volunteer sometimes. I was pretty close to the family when she died of cancer on June 8th and it really devastated me because I adore her and her two daughters. So I gave the Taggarts their own characters. There are still a lot of days this summer that I'm really sad that she's gone but it makes me proud to give their story some light.**

**Oh, and between Ellie's comments and Esme's, what do you think is going to happen during the birth next chapter? (I know. Next chapter. I'm psyched.)**

**Songs:**

**Annie- Vanessa Carlton**

**The World Has Its Shine (But I Would Drop It On A Dime)- Cobra Starship**

**In My Place- Coldplay**

**Northern Downpour- Panic At The Disco**


	14. New Perspective

**This is the last chapter I can post before I go to my Dad's for two weeks but my unofficial beta, best friend, & sister has graciously offered to post 4 chapters for me over the course of the next two weeks. I now have over 100 reviews and to celebrate, my 100th reviewer, Nicole Weasley Cullen, got to help make her own character for my plot twist. :) She also won a shirtless hug from my review god boys, simultaneously. YAY for her. LOL.**

**And finally may I present: Baby Cullen. :)**

_**Four weeks later:**_

Esme and I had been going to work with our husbands every day since Edward told us about Ellie. She had grown to love me and so did her family as I had grown to love them just as fiercely. I thought the back pain a month ago was terrible, this was hell. I was sitting in Ellie's bed with Sarah while Hannah and Pete were getting food when I felt the pain grow exponentially in my back and stomach region.

I got up to try and walk the Braxton-Hicks contractions out when I noticed a warm liquid running down my leg. The pain hit me twice as hard as before. I moaned in pain. Right now, I would like nothing more to shoot Edward in the foot. Maybe he would feel a tenth of my pain if I did.

"OW!!! SH--SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA!!!", I roared out as a huge contraction hit me a few minutes later. Ellie giggled at my attempts at cursing weakly. I felt worse for her, even now when I was sure my uterus had imploded and destroyed my abdomen. She was already getting so terribly ill, her hair brittle and lackluster, her eyes shining less and less everyday.

Edward told me she barely had a month left to live. I felt almost guilty for bringing this child into the world knowing that too soon, another would be taken in its place. It wasn't fair for this beautiful and intelligent girl to die.

"Are you having the baby now, BB?", Ellie asked while grabbing my hand to comfort me. She was too much sometimes. I wasn't the one who needed comfort. This intense physical pain was nothing like the emotional pain the whole family was suffering.

I wanted to roll my eyes at her for calling me BB. Emmett had come up here and called me Baby Bell and it stuck in Ellie's bright mind.

"Yep", I tried to say as cheerfully as possible. Judging by the looks on Sarah and Ellie's faces, I had just epicly failed. Sarah's face was full of concern for me. I knew she was thinking of ways to push me to that delivery room but she also knew that I was aware that time with her baby sister was running short. I wanted to spend as much of it as I could with her.

"Does it hurt, Bella, it looks like it reaaaaally hurts", Ellie observed. Honestly she was too smart to be dying at eight. She could have grown up to be a Rhodes scholar for fucks sake.

"Oh, it's not that bad. Pretty soon, I'll have my pretty little boy in my arms and I'll come and visit you with my EJ", I tried to breeze through that statement as nonchalantly as possible but a contraction hit me at the end.

"They're getting really close, Bella. You need to go to maternity ASAP. If you don't go willingly, I'll call your husband up here", Sarah threatened with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. She had been reading too much into Ignacio's character in that play I made her read, En La Ardiente Oscuridad, I noticed.

"You drive a hard bargain, Sarah. You take your Ignacio very seriously apparently. But I can't leave her now. You know that." Her eyes softened at me. She knew I was so afraid that I'd never get to say goodbye to her.

"I promise you, Bella, I won't let her leave on you." I nodded and hugged them both before I shuffled out of the room.

Once I reached the doorway, Ellie yelled, "Can you name the baby girl Natalie?"

I laughed. She was so insistent that I was going to have a baby girl no matter how many times I told her the baby was a boy.

Thank goodness that maternity was only down the hall and a nurse saw me doubling over in pain and assisted me to a private room. I read her nametag. Nicole. **(Haha, this is actually not the character I was talking about before but I decided to put this one in too.)**

"It's the big day, finally, eh?" I nodded. She continued questioning me.

"Do you want me to call them both up here?" I nodded yes again. She laid me down in the bed.

"Do I need to call anyone else?" I shook my head.

"If my husband is speechless, I'm sure Carlisle will call everyone for me." We both laughed and I heard the announcement over the hospital intercom.

"Drs. Cullen to maternity. Thundercats are go!" Not three minutes later, my husband flew into my room, red-faced and worried.

"Did I miss anything? How far apart are the contractions? Are you sure you still want me to deliver?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, you didn't miss anything. Five minutes. I should have one in a minute. And yes." He sat down in the chair next to me.

"Wow, this is going faster than I expected. I don't think you can even get a spinal block now. Is it alright if I check how dilated you are?" I nodded. He had me put my feet in stirrups as he checked.

"Six centimeters. Damn. Wizard, we could be holding our baby in two hours!", he said in wonderment as a contraction worked its way through my body again. He sat next to me again and let me crush his hand. I almost felt bad as he winced from me crushing his hand but he said if he could share the pain of giving birth to our son, he would. Well he was.

After a couple of contractions, I was already feeling incredibly exhausted but my spirits rose when Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and Dad entered the room. They were all smiles while I was laying on the hospital bed in absolute pain and misery. Esme came to my side immediately.

"How is it, Bella?" At this point, if any of the men would have asked me that, I probably would have ripped their balls off and asked if it hurt. But Esme was my sister in this one, she had given birth to two babies, one right after the other, Alice first and then her baby brother, Edward. She understood how much this actually hurt. She was also the closest thing I had to a mother at this point.

I grabbed her hand to make her sit on the bed next to me. "Oh, Mommy, it hurts so bad."

She ran her fingers through my sweaty, disgusting hair. "I know sweetie, it'll be over soon and you'll see your little baby."

She let me lay my head in her lap as Edward checked me again. He came up pale faced and I sat up quickly, worried that something was wrong with the baby.

"Nothing's wrong, wizard, it's just that you're ready to push." Carlisle went off to prepare a delivery room for us as Edward scrubbed up in the room with me and prepared me for delivery.

"Esme, you're my mother to me and I really need you in there with me. You too Emmett and Dad. I need you guys with me. I want you all to meet Edward Carlisle with us." Edward threw them scrubs and then wheeled me off to delivery with them chasing. He leaned over me as he pushed me through the halls.

"We're going to be parents", he remarked in awe.

"Really, Edward? I was sure that I was only getting fat, but you're the doctor here so I guess you know best." He smiled a beatific smile.

"In labor and still making jokes. That's my Bella." Now we were all in the room and everything was good to go for me to start pushing. Edward stood between my legs with Carlisle right next to him. Dad and Emmett were holding up my legs as I pushed and Esme held my hand and wiped my burning forehead off with a cold washcloth. By the tenth push, I laid flush against the mattress and couldn't find the strength to push again.

"Bella, baby, he's crowning, he's got little bronze hair already, but I need one more push to get him out, can you do that?" I shook my head. "Emmett and Charlie, help her sit up and push." They did and my face turned puce with my efforts to get my baby out and then it was all silence and happy chaos at once.

My universe discarded the rest of the sounds in the world as it found its new focus: the bloody, screaming, baby boy in my husband's arms. I hadn't even held him yet and already my heart swelled to contain the love I felt for the two people directly in front of me. Edward cut his cord and handed him to Esme who cleaned up my little boy and measured him and such. I recalled that she was a nurse before Alice was born.

Edward took care of me, making sure I wasn't bleeding internally when he paused for a second. That's when I realized my body was still having excruciating contractions and I knew that wasn't normal. He checked the fetal heart monitor on me and had Carlisle check it too. They both broke out into even greater smiles together.

"Bella, it was twins. It happens sometimes where one twin hides behind the other. This one will probably be smaller too. Wizard, Mom was right, I knocked you up twice." I didn't even have a chance to hold EJ before it was time to push again. Esme handed my son off to a waiting nurse where he would be taken to the nursery until he was hungry enough to feed.

I had to admit I was really much too tired to push anymore but this baby took a shorter amount of time to work out. When Edward brought it up to me after he cut the cord and took its vitals and cleaned it, he whispered in my ear.

"Say hello to your little baby girl, Wizard." I started crying as he handed me my baby girl. I started laughing and he gazed at me skeptically.

"Ellie told me to name my little girl Natalie. I have no clue how she knew." I gazed down at the tiny little human in my arms. Her eyes were still closed as she burrowed into my chest.

"Love, she's hungry, do you want me to help you feed her?" I nodded. At this point, everyone else had cleared out and left them in the room until our little girl had to go to the nursery too.

She latched on to me immediately and a wave of joy rode through me. I was feeding my baby. She relied on me to keep her alive still and I hadn't even known she existed. What a miracle.

"Does she have a name yet, Baby Bell?" I leaned over to him and whispered it. He grinned and then his angelic features fell as he realized why she got that name. Eventually they wheeled us back to the room I was in before where EJ awaited us. Edward took our baby girl as I held EJ and let him feed. I was so amazed that these two little magical creatures actually came from me.

Our little girl had my hair coloring mostly but it was streaked with bright bronze highlights and it stuck out everywhere no matter how I tried to tame it. When she finally opened her eyes, there were the newborn blue with hazel specks laced through them already. Edward had gotten his dream baby after all. I had gotten my dream baby through her too because she was already asleep in my arms as Edward wrestled around on my bed, trying to calm his wild mini-me.

Edward Carlisle had fiercely wild bronze hair that made him look like he was shocked. His eyes were already a replica of Edward's emerald green eyes. He had also inherited the Cullen restlessness from his daddy as Edward learned from trying to get him to sleep. Eventually Edward leaned him to his son's ear and whispered something too low for me to hear. But EJ smiled his first smile at his dad and Edward gasped, a tear running down his cheek as his baby boy wandered off to sleep.

"He looks just like my baby pictures." I reached over to stroke my baby's hair.

"That's why he's perfect." Edward looked over at the sleeping baby in my arms.

"She's a perfect mixture of you and me. It's amazing to me how two messed up kids like us ended up with two beautiful babies." The door opened then. I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. Carlisle had told everyone to stay away for tonight because he knew how much this labor had taken out of me.

Ellie and Sarah entered the room. My smile grew larger as Ellie crawled up to between Edward and I on the bed.

"See, Bella, you had two babies, I told you." I ruffled her baby fine hair.

"I know, beautiful. Do you want to hold her?" She nodded emphatically. I carefully handed my baby girl off to her and told her to support the head. The picture in front of me was so tragically beautiful. Ellie's face was exuberant as she held my tiny baby in her arms. Ellie loved children so much and this would be the only time in her life that she would be able to hold a fragile little infant in her arms. The hormones still coursing through me were too much and I burst out into tears. With his free arm, Edward cradled me in his arms and wiped away me as he pushed back tears of his own.

He knew how much this all meant to me. That everything in this room was everything I could ever want and it wouldn't last like this for long. I knew that even though I prayed that whatever superior being could miraculously cure my girl. I wish I could give her my bones to give her just even a few more years. Edward handed off EJ to Sarah who stood there marvelling at her sister's interaction with the little baby and at the own little one in her arms.

I smiled at Ellie. "Do you know what her name is?" She shook her head no.

"Elena Natalie Cullen." **(Elena was my best friend's mom's real name; we all called her Ellie too. Natalie is the part Nicole Weasley Cullen picked out. :D)**

Her responding smile was enough to give me hope in anything. Hope that her body would heal, hope that Edward and I wouldn't fail as parents, hope that even Renee could change her ways.

How could I have known then that I would only be lucky enough to get one of my wishes?

**EPOV: (Come on, you know I had to resurrect this POV, the review god boys made me & I can't resist their manly charms. LOL. He won't go into detail about the birth but he'll talk more about what happened afterwards.)**

_**Four weeks after meeting Ellie:**_

Work was hectic as hell today.I was balancing between my OB/GYN stuff and the oncology I do for Ellie. At lunch I finally got my break in the hospital cafeteria, sitting across from my father. I ran my fingers through my hair and rested my head on my elbows.

"Edward, feeling OK, son?", my father questioned. I nodded my head. He huffed as he took a forkful of penne. "Edward Anthony, you couldn't fool about parties in high school and you can't fool me now. Something is wrong and as your father, I just want to know what's going on."

I crossed my arms. "You want to know, Dad? First, my favorite patient is dying, fucking dying and there's nothing I can do about it and that's pretty fucking messed up that the sweetest, most maternal, and most intelligent eight year old is on her deathbed when she should be dancing and laughing and just fucking living.

Secondly, my wife is nine months pregnant with our first kid and she spends all day worrying about Ellie and there's nothing I can do about that either. Thirdly, yeah, I'm tired as hell from putting in all these hours so I can take a month off with Bella and EJ.

But the worst thing is that I'm just convinced that I'll be a shit father, OK? Is that what you wanted to hear Dad?"

My father moved into the seat next to me in the full cafeteria. I just collapsed on my father's shoulder and sobbed my eyes like a baby. I didn't care if the whole hospital staff was watching me have this breakdown.

"Everyone has these worries, Edward. I did and you and Alice turned out well, weird but OK. You'll be fine. Just because you've made some serious fuckups in your life doesn't make you any less of a man. You've apologized and been forgiven by everyone but yourself. Try to do that and find yourself peace."

"I don't know if I can. I still don't deserve an angel like my Bella, my wizard in my bed every night. I don't understand how she keeps loving me more and more every day", I whispered lowly through my tears.

"Edward", my father said sternly.

"No, Dad, when I first found out about this kid, I thought there goes my life, I'm just a kid myself still, how can I raise one? I know I've wanted kids and I don't feel that way now but damn, I don't deserve this baby!"

Dad put his strong hands on my shoulders. "Edward, you've always been a caring individual. You watched over little Bella when you guys were just kids, you became a doctor. and whether you know it or not, you already care for this baby so much. No one deserves a child more than you and Bella."

"Thanks, Dad." He gave me a warm smile.

"No problem, son. Now let's go and save some people." I laughed. We dumped the remnants of our lunch into the garbage and took our trays up to the industrial sized sink when we heard the intercom.

"Drs. Cullen to maternity. Thundercats are go!"

We both gasped and instead of being smart, we ran up the stairs. We were on the first floor and maternity was on the eighth. Fuck. But the entire time we were running, I was blabbering that I was going to be a dad.

The idea still shocked me and scared the shit out of me but I knew that becoming a father under the circumstances that I had was the best mistake I ever had made. Once we got to maternity, the nurses all pointed to her room.

There she lay on the hospital bed, my princess, sweating and red-faced, her perfect features scrunched up in pain. I had always thought that childbirth was a beautiful and as an OB/GYN, I was proud to have my own role in bringing children into this world and Isabella sure did look beautiful as always, but I felt terrible that I had put her in so much pain.

Once I had checked her over, I realized that she couldn't have just gone into labor. I couldn't blame her though for sticking out the pain to gain even a few extra little moments with Ellie. Bella didn't even have to tell me her feelings about Ellie for me to figure it out.

She already considered Ellie to be like a daughter to her. Pete, Sarah, and Hannah's pain was projected onto a woman who already had so much to deal with. But my lady took it all in stride and cared for that little girl like I imagined she would do with our own child.

Time flew by in an hour's time and my Wizard was ready to push out our baby. I took her into delivery and got started. Though Bella would never admit it, she swore like a sailor during labor. Honestly, I didn't blame her, labor looked like it really hurt. She made dirty words sound so pretty.

Soon enough, I held my tiny son in my arms as I cut his umbilical cord. I took a second to really study his features before I handed him off to my mother to take to the nursery. He had wild, untamable bronze hair like me and I apologized to him for it. He also had my strong jaw, my lips, and cheekbones but he had Bella's pert little nose.

I looked at my exhausted wife to notice that she was still having contractions. Damn. This wasn't good. We were only having one baby, right? Well when I consulted Carlisle about it, he had said that it was twins. This situation actually happened quite a bit where the smaller twin would hide behind the other one and not show up in sonograms.

My poor wife was already so tired so I had Emmett and her father help push her up. This baby didn't take as long to get out and I was anxious to meet my other little baby. Tears flooded my eyes as I beheld my little girl. She had creamy white skin like her mother, her mother's pouty lips, my nose, her mother's crazy brown curls with bronze highlights and was just in general, the baby I had dreamed about when I had dreamed of my children. She was perfect.

I cleaned my little girl and took all the vital information we needed about her and then swaddled her in a baby pink, fleece blanket. I carried her to her sweaty and dishelved but beautiful mother.

"Say hello to your little girl, Wizard." Bella's eyes shone as she breathed in the sight of her daughter and cried. She carefully scooped the tiny bundle in her arms as I sat down close to them both. Bella started laughing and then explained that Ellie had wanted her to name the girl Natalie.

I noticed that the baby was smacking her lips together and trying to suck at the skin on Bella's collarbone. "Love, she's hungry, do you want me to help you feed her?"

Bella nodded wearily and I helped pull the gown down so her breasts were free and led the little baby to Bella's nipple where she immediately started sucking in milk. Bella smiled happily at her little baby, proud that she took so fast to her and that they could have this mother/daughter bonding. She told me that her name would be Elena Natalie for Ellie. I beamed but with a tinge of sadness to it because after Ellie died, our daughter's name would be the only reminder we had left of her.

I took her back to our room where we got stopped by many hospital staffers who wanted to see the unexpected Cullen girl. They all said that she was the perfect combination of me and my darling wife, which was pretty accurate. When we got back to her private room, I saw that EJ was already there in his own little crib that was big enough to put my daughter in too.

I carefully lifted my aching wife out of the wheelchair and placed her in bed with our children. I left her hold them both and then I took Ellie as she fed EJ, cooing in a baby voice to him the entire time. The amount of love I felt in this room was enough to burst my heart. She gave me EJ back and she took Natalie and we talked for a bit before Ellie and Sarah came in like I had arranged.

Seeing Ellie holding my daughter with such love in her eyes caused Bella and I to both break into tears. I held her tightly as Sarah held EJ. They left soon after the twins fell asleep. I put them in their little plastic crib and Bella rolled over so she could face them. She put her hand in the crib to put her finger over EJ's steadily beating heart and in his sleep, he reached up and grabbed his mother's finger with a firm grip.

I cuddled into Bella as she fell asleep quickly. It didn't take too much for me to follow her into sleep.

The next morning I woke up to a room full of people and camera flashes. Alice. Great. When I sat up, she started talking rapidly.

"Can I decorate the other baby's room? What's her name? Can I hold them? You have to see the pictures I took, they're soooooo cute." I groaned and then answered all of her questions.

"Yes, Elena Natalie, no, not until they're up. The babies and Bella need their rest." She clapped her hands excitedly. Her husband came forth and ran his fingers through my son's hair as he grinned.

"Ed, your boy looks like your clone." I smiled widely.

"I know but my baby girl looks so much like her momma." EJ opened his bright green eyes and opened his little mouth to yawn. Alice took more pictures. My little boy stared up at his uncle in amazement.

"Can I hold him, Ed?"

"Course, Jazz." Jasper gently pulled my son into his arms, holding a baby exactly like they're supposed to be held. Jasper's presence seemed to calm the baby because last night he squirmed as I held him but with Jasper he just lay there, looking cute. Alice swiped her nephew from her husband's arms and whispered evilly to him as she stared at me. No doubt she was teaching my son how to push my buttons.

Ellie woke up and started crying. Emmett picked her up and she immediately hushed up.

"Aww, little E, don't cry, you don't want to wake up Momma, do you?" I almost started laughing at the sight of Bella's tough brother, who had once threatened to chop off my balls, cooing to this little girl who looked even smaller in his huge arms. They all took their turns holding my kids as Bella gently stirred.

"How are you feeling, Baby Bell?", her dad asked while he held EJ.

She wiped the sleep from her eyes. "A little sore but happy. Can I see my baby boy?"

Charlie nodded and handed Bella EJ. She cooed to him as she tickled his little belly.

"Bells, you've got two beautiful babies." She blushed at her father.

"Thanks, Daddy." Emmett handed me Ellie and I held her tight in my arms. He had an evil grin on his face.

"You know, Ed, I don't like calling him EJ and we can't call him Edward and we can't call him Carlisle so I came up with a nickname for him: Chuck."

Bella's eyes narrowed as I had my mother take EJ from her arms. Rage filled her delicate features.

"Emmett. James. Swan. You. are. not, I repeat, are not, calling my baby Chuck." Emmett pouted.

"But Baby Bell, he does look like Chucky with your husband's crazy hair on his little head." She threw the TV remote at him.

Yep, Bella was feeling better. Emmett laughed and the whole family soon joined in. This time, I thought, it could all be perfect. Unfortunately, my perfect life couldn't last forever.

_"I don't want to leave her now, _

_You know I believe in Hell._

_You're asking me will my love grow?_

_I don't know, I don't know_

_If you stick around, then it may show."_

_- Something by The Beatles_

**Please remember that I'm just seventeen and I have no clue how having babies works. Thank goodness.**

**Songs:**

**America's Suitehearts- Fall Out Boy (I dunno it got me in a writing mood)**

**Something (Beatles Cover)- Jim Sturgess (My only weaknesses are chocolate & a manly British accent)**

**She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty- Dance Gavin Dance (It just got me writing)**

**New Perspective- Panic At The Disco (Edward's life song pretty much)**

**There Goes My Life- Kenny Chesney (Edward's Daddy song :D)**


	15. Take The Pain Out Of Love

"Take the pain out of love and love won't exist."-The Academy Is…

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my stories are going on hiatus once again. I didn't believe then when I made my class schedule that I would be this incredibly busy which was supremely unfair of me to do to you guys. I really regret that I have no time to write at this point in time and I hope that you guys can forgive me.

Apart from having no time to write, I really don't feel like I have the heart to do it for a while. I hate to have to admit that things have been bothering me a lot but earlier this month, two of the most amazing, comical, loving, brave people I knew and loved died in a car crash in France. The loss of my best friend, Alexander, and my boyfriend, Gabriel, has made me more melancholy and listless and weak than I would prefer to admit. Plus one of my deepest friendships has ended in a really bitter and sad way earlier this week and the two events together have just left me with a weary and subdued heart.

I know that if I did write anything and posted it anytime soon, all my characters would die and it would be probably the saddest, most depressing ending I could possibly think of and I know that you guys don't deserve that at all. If I'm going to write, I have a commitment to my readers to give them the best writing I can and right now, I really don't feel like that is possible for me.

Once again, I'm deeply sorry that I have to put my stories on hiatus again and I promise I will be back as soon as I can. I figured making this author note and posting with my somewhat sorry reasons and excuses was better than just leaving you guys hanging.

But, to possibly make things a little nicer at the end of my pretty pathetic and sad note, I leave you with a couple songs that I would like to dedicate to my old friend, she knows who she is.

SoCo Amaretto Lime- Brand New.

Hate Me- Blue October.

Everything We Had- The Academy Is…

Love, Amanda.


	16. Heartbeats

Hey, not an update but one is coming soon!

I had a crazy idea and wrote a new story that you might like called Heartbeats.

It's relatively nerdy and what not and full of Edward and Bella.

Here's a little bit of the first chapter.

_"Yes, I'm Edward. Rosalie, it's so nice to meet you finally. He's been salivating over you ever since he told me about you." She giggled and then looked to her side where a beautiful brunette stood, half covered in the shadows.  
Rose yanked on the brunette's arm and the brunette's curly locks flew all about as she was pulled into the dim dancefloor lighting. She actually was quite beautiful with her big, shiny brown eyes and full pink lips. I already had some sort of dirty fantasy of those curls between my legs as she went down on me.  
Emmett nudged my shoulder hard and jerked me out of dirty fantasy land. "Don't be rude to Bella, you jackass. Say hello", he whispered harshly at me.  
"I---I'm sorry, Bella. I'm Edward." I held my hand out to her, like a gentleman and when she shook it, tingles went up my spine. I blushed and turned away.  
Rose cleared her throat. "Um, Bella, did you know that Emmie was telling me that Edward takes some pre-med classes here at the university. He wants to be a doctor." Bella's eyes lit up. "Really? I'm here on an art scholarship. I could never be a doctor." I squinted at her. _

_"Why not? It's a really rewarding job, my father is the chief of medicine down in Forks."_

_"Wow, small world. My dad's the police chief and I'm squeamish around blood.:_

_"Oh." By the time that we had finished that small exchange, Emmett and Rose were long gone. We stood there awkwardly until Bella cleared her throat and looked at me. "So I guess they just left us here to fend for ourselves."_

_I laughed nervously. "Yeah I guess they did." The music was terribly distracting and I just wanted to be alone with her. "Do you wanna grab a drink and head upstairs? Just to talk, I swear. I'm not really that kind of guy", I spilled out._

_She looked at her shoes. "Um, sure. Why not?"_

Love, Amanda.


End file.
